Why I Don’t Invite Milla Jovovich to Tea

You may be thinking, “Rara, you’re not famous or family, so you probably don’t invite Milla to tea because you don’t know how to contact her and even if you did she wouldn’t come. Plus, you’ve never in your life invited someone for tea.”

And I’ll be honest, that’s part of it.

Mostly, though, I don’t invite Milla Jovovich to tea because as long as she’s not around, I win.

“Win what?”

I’m glad you asked.

I win the full, undivided attention of my husband, Dave.

Now I’m not certain that she’d even be competition.  You see, Dave has this amazing ability to exist in a world that he believes consists only of me, our cats, and himself.

For example, normally, if we’re in a room full of people and everyone wants to watch Ghostbusters, and I say I want to watch Buffy, Dave puts on Buffy.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that if Milla was around, she’d shake the proverbial boat, sway the metaphorical vote.

I can’t have that.

There’s nothing worse than watching ghost capturing when you’re in the mood for vampire slaying, and it’d be just so typical of Milla to not consider my feelings.

Dave and I will be celebrating our anniversary soon, and it’s been great times.  Life has brought hospital beds, courtrooms, emergency clinics, rat-infested hotels, depression, scams, broken leases, broken friendships, and poverty– but right alongside all that nonsense, through it all — was us being us.  And that part has been awesome.

We’re a solid team– spouses, roommates, best friends, colleagues, cat-owners– and we make each other better people.  Marriage fits both us like a tailored suit and we’ve never looked back.

I am incredibly grateful for Dave.

In most ways, we’re opposites.  He has all sorts of metaphors to explain that to people.

He’s a porcupine, and I’m a cat.

When you get past all the spikes and paranoia, Dave is kind and loving.  When you get past all my fluffiness and distracting silliness, I’m tough and a little terrifying.

I’m a fluttering butterfly, and he’s molten lava.

Anyone who’s met us, or read any of our blogs, doesn’t need that one explained.

Dave’s the sort of guy that it’s hard to get to know.   He’ll be arguing with a girl scout about the lack of morality in selling cookies to an obese nation, and then see a stuffed Green Lantern toy and run across the store to grab it.   He’ll be writing an essay tearing apart government funding to various organizations, and stop to compliment his cat.  He grumbles about family events, but will talk your ear off if you happen to ask him about our nieces or nephews. (Short version: he thinks they’re all going to be rock stars, royalty, astronauts AND saints.  No pressure, kids.)  He’s an atheist, but sits quietly and respectfully through my religious ministrations.

In other words, he’s a complex tangle of contradictions, and I absolutely love that about him.

Of course, being so different comes with challenges.  I collect things like I get paid to do so, and Dave is a modern day Spartan.  I dislike anything to do with water, and Dave swims like a fish.  He steps out of the shower like swamp thing and drips all over the floor, whereas I am a delicate ballerina of grace…

Sorry, side-tracked. Some of this may be biased.

Us, years ago, next to our beloved books and Bumblebee.  I’m thankful for everything in this picture.

The point is, we’re two of a kind.  He’s a triangle peg, and I’m a square peg, but either way, neither one of us fits in the circle hole society squishes people into.

I’ve been so lucky to share my life with a fellow misfit, someone who emotionally supports me through the drama of life, and someone who thinks I’m the most important person in the ‘verse.  He makes a better me– pushes me forward, stretches my mental boundaries, and constantly impresses me– and for that– I am thankful.

So fair warning, Milla, I’ll fight for this one.

(Oh, and if you’re curious about Dave, you can visit his blog and remind him about how fantastic his wife is: http://graysonqueen.wordpress.com/about/)

______________________

Weekly photo challenge:  Thankful:  http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/weekly-photo-challenge-thankful/  (You only have to post a picture to participate, but I got sidetracked.)

73 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Invite Milla Jovovich to Tea

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