journals

Of Tailbones, Monkeys, and Paradise Hats

Today, I bruised my coccyx.  No, no, don’t Google it!  The pictures are terrifying and I didn’t do anything so dramatic as the page 1 of images would have you believe.  There’s no harrowing bruises.  Actually, there’s no bruise at all.  They just don’t have an official “slight dinging of your tailbone” check-box on medical forms.

I’ve learned that one of my least favorite children’s stories was completely correct.

You should not jump on the bed.

Especially if by “jump on the bed”, you mean “throw yourself backwards onto a futon that doesn’t have enough mattress to cover all the metal bits”.

I know what you’re thinking:

  1. How could “5 Little Monkeys” be anyone’s least favorite children’s story?  What monkey stories were better?
  2. What’s the difference between a slightly dinged tailbone and a butt bruise?
  3. That’s the most ridiculous injury ever!
  4. A bruised coccyx must make blogging difficult.

All good thoughts.  Let’s address them.

How could “5 Little Monkeys” be anyone’s least favorite children’s story?  What monkey stories were better?

I didn’t like “5 Little Monkeys” as a child because it was boring– basically just a song drawn into as many pages as possible.  As an adult, I agree– it’s just a quick jingle stretched out to maximum value to sell merchandise.  Plus, that mama monkey was an awful mama! All her kids broke their heads.

My top three children’s stories featuring a monkey would have to be:

The Giraffe and the Pelly and Me - by Roald Dahl
The Giraffe and the Pelly and Me – by Roald Dahl
Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgrin
Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgrin
Caps for Sale - Esphyr Slobodkina
Caps for Sale – Esphyr Slobodkina

What’s the difference between a slightly dinged tailbone and a butt bruise?

A butt bruise, I would imagine, is just a bruise on your butt.  It would probably hurt when you touched it, like a normal bruise, and heal within a few days.

A slightly dinged tailbone hurts whenever you sit down, or whenever you get up from sitting down.  It feels a lot like sitting flush against a wall that has something pushing against a specific point in your lower spine.  I hear it takes months to heal.

That’s the most ridiculous injury ever!

Sadly, no.  Here are four examples of more ridiculous injuries that I have suffered in the course of my life.

  • I’ve fallen down multiple staircases after jumping up them either blindfolded or on one leg.  (It’s trickier than it sounds.)
  • I’ve gotten a Q-tip stuck in my ear.  (Buy brand names.)
  • I’ve electrocuted myself because I wasn’t paying attention and inserted my finger into an outlet. (I’ve told you that I’m not a morning person.)
  • I cracked a tooth by biting into a rock to see if I could crack open the rock. (I couldn’t.)

A bruised coccyx must make blogging difficult.

To prevent that from happening, I’m going to work out a way to blog from a non-seated position.  The obvious solution would be to lie down with the laptop in bed, but I’m imagining something more like this:

You can't bruise a coccyx on a hammock.
(1) You can’t bruise a coccyx on a hammock.  (2) Everyone in paradise wears a big hat.

Now one of the few things I have to figure out (aside from where to get a hammock and how to sneak into a private beach) is how my “paradise hat” should look.  I’m thinking it should be decorated with little monkeys and bruise-colored flowers, in honor of the incident that inspired my soon-to-be paradise-blogging stylings.

How would your paradise hat look?

115 comments

  1. Sorry about your injury. It sounds painful, but with your amazing attitude, I’m sure you’ll be on the mend in no time! I have such fond memories of my mom reading Caps for Sale to my siblings and me. 🙂

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    1. Oh thank you! And yes, Caps for Sale is on my “all-time favorite” children’s books, not just the ones with monkeys, haha, so I completely understand. It was such a fun story to hear!

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  2. I truly and quite literally feel your pain, as you will have read in my most recent post!!! It is one of the most painful injuries and it does indeed make blogging difficult. I have found that sitting forward so I’m placing the pressure more on my legs, is the best way… although then you run the risk of slouching your shoulders which means you get a bit of a pain there too!!!

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  3. Oh my gosh – I can totally relate. I have done this twice actually. A few years ago I slipped on the stairs wearing a pair of those oh so cozy, but really silky bottomed fuzzy socks. Now I make sure they have the annoying little rubber thingies on the bottom of the socks. The second time was last year at a skating birthday party. I so love roller skating, but it is one thing I will never do again. I was good skating by myself, but when I tried to help my 4 yr old granddaughter out of the rink via a concrete ramp I fell flat on my you know what on that concrete ramp. I think childbirth is less painful. No, I am sure of it. The world turned black and I had to hold my head between my knees for a while to keep from passing out. It has been about 8 months and it is still sensitive on hard surfaces such as the floor when trying to do situps, etc. I hope you heal quickly and that it never happens to you again! It gets worse each time it happens. BUT the little monkeys story is still one of my all time favorites along with Goodnight Moon 🙂

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    1. Twice? Oh no, I hope this never happens to me again. I will get rubber thingies at the bottoms at my socks pronto. I can’t even imagine trying to do a situp… ever again. The floor against my tailbone… eek, no way! 🙂 Goodnight Moon is a great one! Every single one of my little siblings, nieces, nephews, and godkids swears by 5 Little Monkeys, so I think it’s just me, haha! 🙂

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  4. Oh no! You left out the Muggle-Wump family of monkeys from Roald Dahl’s “The Twits”.

    Oh yeah, sorry about your injury.

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    1. Oh man, I spent the most amount of time on this post deciding whether to pick The Twits or the Pelly one, haha! 🙂 I love Roald Dahl and all his motley characters. The Twits is one of my favorites!!! And, oh yeah… thanks for the good wishes. 😀

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    1. haha! Yay! There was a poem I scribbled on my Hey page to ruleofstupid.wordpress.com, and it goes like this:

      Your coccyx is a vestigial trait
      preserved from the days of yore.
      It’s a small reminder that you had a tail,
      and you could have one once more!

      I figure if I’m going to be your go-to-girl for coccyx information, I might as well be poetic about it. 😉

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    1. Did he really?! I need to get a Hemingway biography stat. 🙂 Blogging standing up is fun… not as fun as my imaginary hammock would be, but not bad… 😀

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      1. I’ve heard and read that about Papa. ‘Course he also supposedly said “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

        That hammock looks like the way to go, though. 😉

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  5. Injuries are never good, BUT,(no pun intended), the five little monkeys has always reminded me of my childhood. Not reading it, but the way my brothers an I acted. Hope you feel better soon. Hammocks on the beach seem like more than adequate compensation. It is freeeeeeeezing here.

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    1. Haha, were you one of 5 little monkeys? I’m one of 6. 🙂 It’s actually pretty cold here, too… but only by SoCal standards. 🙂 Thanks for the feel-better wishes, I intend to heal up as fast as possible!

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  6. Having suffered from a bruised coccyx myself – which I actually called broken,( because really who was going to x-ray my butt after my little xcskiing incident?) I have this one piece of advice for you. When you are almost better and you stop sitting and moving carefully don’t flop down in the back seat of a vehicle and land on the part of the seat belt that you “click” into! Please learn from my mistakes and may your butt heal quickly! (which is for sure the oddest sentence I’ve ever wrote!)

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  7. Been there…my sympathies are with you. The monkeys were stupid-especially the 5th one. How many monkeys have to be concussed before you stop?

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    1. Absolutely, I think one concussed monkey would be enough terror for me to stop jumping. I mean, just this bruised tailbone has scarred me for life. Thankfully I mean mentally… after viewing all the google images… 🙂 Glad you survived! Stories of survival give hope, haha! 🙂

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  8. OUCH! Big healing mojo to your cocyx.

    Pippi Longstocking! YEAH!!!!!

    I have a cowboy hat..but I’m a fantasy rancher at heart my partner lovingly calls our little block of land Tokarahi Cattle Ranch..I prefer Tokarahi Kettle Ranch

    Cuppa Tea???

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  9. Sorry for your injury but there is one question you have left unanswered WHAT were you doing to be flinging yourself backwards on the bed ……… ??????????????

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  10. Don’t be too harsh on the monkeys’ mom, Rara. Her kids were just jumping on the bed, not biting rocks, sticking fingers in outlets, and jumping up stairs blindfolded. haha

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    1. So true, haha! Though in fairness to MY mom, I did most of that list as an adult living n my own. 🙂 Except the one legged jump up the concrete stairs, that one I did after school in the 2nd grade.

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      1. Maybe, it’s a good thing you haven’t had children, YET. haha Hope your not too butt-hurt from that comment.
        I better stop before I fall out of my hammock.
        Sorry, just got that mid-day silliness.

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  11. Paradise hat = a stocking cap, or some sort of beanie, with a winter wonderland out the window, and a roaring fire providing the needed warmth. I know not many will agree with me there, but I grew up in the desert and have had my fill of hot days. Hope you heal up quickly!

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    1. I understand that because I grew up mostly in a farm- so when people say they want to “vacation” at a vineyard, I’m bored by the very idea. 🙂 But I couldn’t do cold weather, oh no. I’m part Mexican, part Indian, and a Texan… cold is not in my blood.

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      1. And part dinosaur? 😀 My brother left one desert town for another and can’t fathom living anywhere else, so I understand that “in your blood” aspect of it. I missed that injection I guess.

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        1. Well, ALL dinosaur. It’s like a gender, it trumps all. 😉 Yep, I have some siblings who missed the hot weather injection, too… they’re freezing in VA now, and I can’t figure out why.

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  12. I once fell on the stair and bruised my bum bone (I call it a bum bone because I can’t spell cocksyx- see what I mean? 😉 Anyhoo, I had something called McTimoney Chiropractic to help me get better, so bear this in mind. I have also broken my nose whilst having sex: iccky I know, but true. I do not recommend going from pleasure to pain in 0.2 seconds. It is not nice. I would tell you how this happened if we were in the corner of a bar and I was on my third cocktail. Sadly, (or perhaps not) we’re not. Feel better soon rArasaurarseington…:-D P.s. my paradise hat would be exactly like Carmen Miranda’s: all fruity and big!

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    1. Haha, oh man, that is definitely one for the storyboard of embarrassing injuries… one day we’ll meet up at that bar and I’ll hear all about it. 🙂 Carmen Miranda’s hat is brilliant, perfect for paradise! Thanks for the good healing wishes, and the chiropractic tip!

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    1. Standing hurts way less than sitting, but it’s not a very comfortable position in general. I’m sure I’ll makeshift something awesome. 🙂 Thanks for the sympathy! 😀

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  13. Paradise cap ruins the tan.
    I’m sorry to hear about your tailbone injury, it happened to me a few years ago skating, couldn’t walk or sit for a week, painful. Hope you recover soon.
    Really nice post, isn’t funny how our misfortunes inspire nice posts?
    xx

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    1. (1) It’s awesome how that happens! I love inspiration from odd places. (2) I hope I heal up in a week, that would be great! (3) I’m so brown, no tan is necessary! 🙂

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  14. I read the first sentence of this post and immediately was reminded of the movie Napoleon Dynamite. 😀 I agree that Five Little Monkeys was a dull book, and I think it was sort of a song pretending to be a story. Ah, large hats…lovely. 🙂

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  15. Haha! You are funny! I hope your “C” feels better! Side nite: the best little monkeys in the world is one of my favorite children’s book. Check it out, your kids will love it!

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      1. Here is more info on the book: The Best Little Monkeys in the World by Natalie Standiford. It’s a super cute book. I used to read it to my baby sister when she was little and now I re-bought the book for her little 1 year old (when he gets a little older, he will LOVE it). Here is a little snippet of the book: “Two little monkeys get into mischief while the oblivious babysitter chatters to her friends on the telephone. They coat the kitchen with blender-propelled banana shakes and run the bathtub over but clean up before their parents return.” 🙂

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      2. okay, one more book, I must share… this is another all time favorite and I bought it again for my sisters little one. It’s a must read childrens book. Soooooo super good! It’s called, “Oh, Were They Ever Happy! by Peter Spier. “One Saturday morning while their parents are away, the three Noonan children decide to paint the house.” 🙂

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  16. My paradise hat would be made of a snorkel mask and fins — it would be covered with little reef fish, and the occasional bigger Damselfish. It would be big enough to prevent me from burning my neck and back and shoulders, and it would have a hose reaching a giant Margarita pitcher on top. Lots of flowers, palm fronds, and leis of orchids all over. Thanks for the happy daydream!

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    1. haha, yayyy! You are now in possession of the only coccyx pun on the internet! Well, using the world “coccyx”… obviously there are butt and tailbone puns in abundance. 😀 Thank you for the get-well wishes!

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  17. I would do almost anything to use coccyx in a sentence all day long! Well, not bruise it, but perhaps you need to compose an ode to the under-appreciated coccyx?? Soz you’re hurting. I’ve jumped off my deck to show my awesome ballerina moves and broken my ankle. Twice. And it was just a few years ago, so these are not the antics of youth. Do you need shuttle service to SCP?

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    1. 😀 There’s actually a mini poem about it in the comments above, haha! 😀 I have to say I am thoroughly enjoying saying and writing coccyx, though. Not enjoying the pain, though, but even that is manageable if I remember. A broken ankle sounds horrible, I’ve never broken a bone, and I’m a sissy about most injuries. 😀 I wish I could do SCP!! But I could barely get around Ralph’s today, so the epic plaza is out of the question, haha. My butt aches just thinking about it! 😀 (There’s another bonus! Saying things I haven’t had the opportunity to say before! 🙂 )

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      1. Yes, I did read the mini poem, too cute! Hope your coccyx makes a swift recovery! I hobbled around on crutches and an air cast for weeks. not fun! I try not to do any more grand jetes off the deck.

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  18. I hope you get better real soon, Rara. Until then, enjoy your hammock!
    I didn’t like 5 Little Monkeys either. I didn’t get the point, and it never occured to me that jumping on the bed would be fun until I read the book! I always loved Curious George 🙂

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    1. I didn’t either! The book teaches bad habits. I’ll add that to my list of reasons to not like it, haha! 😀 (And thank you for the get well wishes!)

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  19. Oh, you poor sweet baby! (Everyone should have someone say that to them at least once in their lives.) I’m sorry you bruised your tailbone (not even trying to spell a word I can’t pronounce). I hope it heals far more quickly than you anticipate.

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  20. 😦 oh luvey sowwwy for your coccyx injury it is painful… it’s a bums up instead of a thumbs up .. ok I was trying to be witty. Take care …I did chuckle about your other injuries (my bad) especially the electrocuting yourself.. sorry still giggling. Total agreement with your hat – that would be mine too… 🙂 xx

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  21. I remember reading Caps for Sale when I was young, catching it on Reading Rainbow 🙂 I recently introduced it to my four-year old son and he really liked it. 🙂

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  22. My least favorite children’s story was always “Ten in the Bed.” I mean, really…

    “There were ten in the bed and the little one said, “roll over” and they all rolled over and one fell out. Nine!

    “There were nine in the bed and the little one said, roll over” and they all rolled over and one fell out. Eight!”

    So on and so forth.

    Having been “the little one” for a little while, I can tell you: they wouldn’t roll over. No accuracy whatsoever. And dangerous. By the end of the story there’s a pile of bodies on the floor!

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  23. My fiancee did this once too, it’s not fun! Cushy donuts help (the kind you sit on, you could sit on the kind you eat, it just wouldn’t help as much). My paradise hat would be one of those plastic things that hold cans of beer, only I would fill it with cans of coconut water and paint a big smiling sun on the hat itself. As I’m positive that you can’t wear a beer-can hat without a giant foam finger (even if the hat is not filled with beer), I would need one of those too.

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    1. Not fun at all, but I am taking advantage of donuts… the sitting kind, haha! 🙂 You’re completely right, it’s basically against the law to wear a beer hat without a foam finger even if you’re just chugging coconut water, haha! I can see it now!

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  24. Haha…. Forgive me for smiling…!
    Isn’t it odd how we humans take ‘pleasure’ (I’m not sure that’s the right word) from other’s misfortunes…. 😉
    I do hope though, that your coccyx recovers quickly… I’ve done a similar thing and oh boy it hurts…. 😦

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  25. I can’t even tell you what my paradise hat would look like because i’m still shaking my head at your bruised coccyx and your tales of other “interesting” injuries. As you heal, I hope you find a comfortable position in which to entertain us Rara.

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  26. 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed was the first song my daughter ever learned & she used to act out all the little actions – it has very adorable memories for me. My paradise hat would be one of those scrunchy hats you can just stuff in a suitcase & it always comes out looking great. It would be red with a canary yellow hat band or turquoise with a hot pink hat band. I love hats!

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    1. Awww, that does sound adorable. 🙂 One of my youngest nieces loves that book and she sings the song (unintelligibly and off-tune) everywhere she goes. It’s so cute. Man, your hats sound fabulous! I may borrow that idea of the packable hats– it’s so nice when you don’t have to worry about them getting squished 🙂

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  27. Why would you try to open a rock with your teeth? Don’t you know that that’s what other rocks are for?
    Sorry to hear about your pain, but I like your plan with the hammock and I’d get a hat full of fruit, if I were you, because if you feel hungry in between, you can just reach up and grab a handful of grapes or similar.

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    1. Well… I washed it first. After I washed it, I thought… I could at least try to open it with my teeth. Eventually, though, cracked tooth and all, I used a rock to smash it. 🙂 I totally need a snack-hat! That would make life so much easier right now. I’ll put it on the grocery list, haha! 😀

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  28. Omg!! This could have been me writing this post!! I’m seriously clumsy too. I blame my inner ear. I also think my clumsiness affects my ability to hang pictures straight. Do you have this problem??? I’ve shocked myself on accident several times. I’ve been told though I look quiet graceful taking a spill.

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  29. I feel like this post could have been written about me! I too have been electrocuted (more than once). The one nice thing that has been said to me is that when I fall, it looks graceful. I’d like to thank my mom for the years of dance and gymnastics as a kid for that ability. Thanks for the laugh!

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  30. Well, if your paradise hat has to reflect your life, it would be VERY battered, blackened from being electrocuted a thousand times (a low number for how many times I’ve been jolted), be smushed down in the front from my front-porch head-dive-into-concrete, and have a big railroad spike sticking out to represent my headaches.
    But it’d have to have a Starfleet insignia on it. And have a Canadian cap badge, preferably from my Rileys. And a BIG 3 Stooges pin on it! 😀
    (Never bruised my coccyx. Actually, never broke a bone. I specialise in soft tissue damage, myself. 😉 )

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    1. What on earth are you doing that gets you electrocuted?! And also, does hitting someone with a broom really stop the electric current? I suppose I could google that, but it sounds like you’re the expert! 🙂 I never broke a bone, either, but I’m stretched ligaments and torn skin and all sorts of other fun stuff. Pretty much every cap in the world should have a 3 stooges pin, haha! 😀

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      1. My dad is a VERY handy person, to the point that he re-wired my folks’ house with my help. I just have a nasty tendency to grab wires without checking that the circuit is shut off first. But at household current, you don’t need to be knocked away, it usually just knocks you back. My worst zapping was when I got buzzed while wearing braces on my teeth. I tasted metal for a week! 😯

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  31. I bruised mine in jr. high during gym. Seriously painful, so my sympathies.

    But as an adult with GI problems, I have a constantly sore but. It is amazing how important that little bit of anatomy is — it holds your weight when you are standing or sitting, in certain lying down positions. “Treasure your tush” That’s what I’ve learned!

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  32. I also tend to have ridiculous accidents. In fact most of my injuries have been downright cartoonish.

    – Broke my wrist after having a rather acrobatic collision between my ten-speed bicycle and a mailbox… followed by an artful impact with the ground. Little kid living at the house where I impacted the mailbox looked down at my bleeding prone form and said, brightly, “Do that again!”

    – I have a giant scar under my chin where no beard will grow from where my brothers taught me to fly. They each had hold of one arm and one leg, and they claim to this day that they didn’t *intend* to let go. I did fly, too, for a moment. Right into a chair.

    …and my crowning achievement in cartoonish injuries:

    – Seven stitches in my shin after falling into an open manhole. I didn’t know it was there until I was suddenly six feet shorter.

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  33. I fell out of a tree when I was young and broke my butt *giggle*. It sounds funny but WOW was it painful. Big hugs to you! And please don’t hate me, but I’ve never been fond of Pippi Longstocking. And I’m with you on the monkeys. I have noticed that a lot of songs and finger plays have violent story lines. I never understood that. And it’s kind of scary how much kids love them. I make up my own that are a little more gentle to help teach counting. No sense in killing off a lot of monkeys just to help a child learn to count to five!

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  34. I fell sideways down my parents’ front concrete steps one time… my tail bone took FOREVER to heal. Anytime I would sit too long, it would start to ache again. Sometimes, I think it still does, and it’s been years now.

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