Please welcome my guest blogger, MissFourEyes! Around these parts, she’s more commonly known as the Naked Blogging Goddess. This post is clothing-optional so long as you stay behind your screen. Send tons of rawr-love her way! http://missfoureyes.wordpress.com/
When I was 4 years old my goal in life was to be a superhero. It didn’t matter what kind of superpowers I had, telekinesis, mind reading, all the things Superman does, anything. I wanted to be a superhero and fight crime *kapow*
I don’t want all those superpowers anymore. I guess I got a little lazy. With great power comes great responsibilities right? Plus, being like Superman wouldn’t work out very well, my granny panties don’t look nearly as amazing as you would think on the outside.
But after reading Rara’s post on her favorite Meta-Metas, I got to thinking how amazing it would be to be a real superhero, one that could actually help real people.
Top 7 superheroes I want to be:
- The Remarkable Rememberer (da da da!)– I would remember exactly where I parked my car, why I walked into that room, and my entire grocery list without even looking at it. I would remember everything. I would also remember the exact date and time that you took my Matrix DVD, even though you say you didn’t. I would like it back.
- OneLiner Woman– After being insulted, I would never have to respond with “mmha whaa…?!”and think of a good comeback in the shower two weeks later. With these powers, I would instantly shoot back clever one-liners and show my evil nemesis what the verbal equivalent of *kapow* is!
- The Terrific TP– I would use my powers to manifest toilet paper anywhere and at any crucial moment. Emergency TP ‘situations’ in the office, including TPing the boss’s cabin, would be taken care of with a snap of my fingers.
Also very useful during flu season. Tissue anyone?
- Mistress CSR – The ability to make all customer service reps bump my call to the head of the line. I’d have all my queries and complaints responded to instantly, all appointments booked immediately, and everything I need fixed would really be fixed within 24 hours. The costume would come with a whip, just because.
- The Jurassic Jar Opener– I’d be able to open any tight jar in one shot without having to take it to a dark sketchy street to have it sawed open or ask my arch enemy, The Neighbor.
- Doody Girl – All dog poop would be nicely wrapped up and appropriately discarded of with just a look. If needed, I would be able transport the poop to the bottom of The Neighbor’s gym locker.
- Super Blogger– I’d never run out of ideas for blog posts, bye bye writer’s block! Along with never-ending ideas, I would be able to read and comment on hundreds of other blogs at super human speed.
Lastly I think I would like to have a superpower that allows me to come up with better superhero names.
What about you, what superhero would you like to be?
Now that you love MissFourEyes as much as I do, visit her blog for more of her particular brand of generous, warm humor and introspection. If I were you, I’d start here: