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Murdering Writer’s Block

xray
When CombatBabe posted about Blogger’s Block today, I thought of my little cure and how perfectly it fits into this week’s Prompts for the Promptless.

My favorite little exercise to shake loose ideas in my head is rife with Gallows Humor. I know strange and morbid humor is not for everyone, so consider this is a warning.

The point of this Writer’s Block technique is to write the death of someone/something in just a few sentences in overly simplistic or strange ways. It’s not about grammar or word choice, it’s just about encouraging your words to be fearless, focused, abrupt. Once compiled, I call them the Dead Chronicles.

I’m not sure why this works for me, I only know it does.

Here’s a small random sample, (with apologies to those who may have somehow read them the first three times when I tried to post and failed).

The Dead Chronicles

Cliff Falling

Once upon a time there was a boy named Marilou Stevenson. All his life, he was very easily distracted. Then, one day, he was so preoccupied that he tripped over a rock and fell off the nearby cliff. He died.

Bad Fish Tacos

Once upon a time there was a woman. She stopped by a taco stand and ordered some fish tacos. They were bad. She died.

Q-Tip

Once there was a farmboy. He would always put 14 q-tips in each ear and run around in circles amusing the animals. It worked until he fell. Then, one q-tip pushed too far and he died.

Decapitation

Once upon a time there was a little robot, who lived in a quiet village — quiet, until the day the Giant came. Everyone ran off screaming, but the little robot was too slow. The giant tried to pick her up, but ended up just lifting her head and popping it off. She died.

Elephant

Once there was a duck who caught himself on fire. His neighbor, an elephant, tried to help. Sadly, he only succeeded in trampling the poor poultry. The duck died instantly.

Fisherman’s hook

There was a little boy who wanted to be a fish and swim underwater all day long, just like a real fish. He decided to try it and while he was swimming, he saw a hook and grabbed on. The fisherman pulled him up, was startled to find a little boy at the end of the hook and had a heart attack. He died.

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If you love Gallows Humor, you’ll love these posts from this week’s Prompts for the Promptless:

If you write your own addition to The Dead Chronicles, I’ll add it to this post.  If you write more than one, you should just make it a post and link up to Prompts for the Promptless.

What are your cures for Writer’s Block?

 

40 comments

  1. You certainly have a unique perspective. I don’t think it would do it for me, but I haven’t had writer’s or blogger’s block that I can remember. It may be from 35 years of writing for a living or maybe I’ve got more than enough words for several lifetimes. Something always triggers an writing idea and I’ve always just finished reading a book or seen a movie. I guess you could say reviews are my version of a fallback position.

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    1. Haha, 🙂 Yes, it’s an odd way, but it’s worked since I was in middle school. I usually don’t run out of things to say, but I often get overwhelmed with everything I want to say. I call that Writer’s Block, too… because when my hands go to my keyboard, or my pen to paper, I can’t make myself write. I struggle with being “concise” on normal days– on days where my brain is overfilled with ideas that want to be written… well.. those are 2000 word post days, or Writer’s Block days. 🙂

      Reviews are actually the hardest thing for me to write! I’m always so impressed by those that can (seemingly) easily review something. 😀

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  2. How bizarre… in a good way. Dave’s a lucky man.
    I don’t seem to get writer’s block. Once I actually make myself sit down to write, that is. I’m very good at thinking up lots of things I just have to do first/instead, though 🙂

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    1. Bizarre is right, 🙂 but I figure… stick with what works. 🙂 I often get my version of Writer’s Block… where I don’t know what direction to take my words, or everything I write tastes dusty.

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  3. Oh, I get the dusty taste a lot… I tell myself that’s confidence, and I must push on regardless then I can decide later if it’s okay. Don’t know if that’s the ‘right’ response but I fear I’d never write at all if I was waiting for it to feel sparkly as I wrote!

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  4. This is hilarious and incredibly morbid at the same time lol! Whatever works 🙂

    Rohan.

    ps. the little boy fish that had a heart attack was so adorably pitiable, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry…

    pps. I laughed.

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  5. I think there is something wrong with me. I laughed at all of those – especially the last one.
    An interesting way to get the creative juices flowing!

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  6. Oops! I didn’t read the notification all the way through — welcome to The Sun Drips Honey. Please, if you are a poet, or an aspiring poet, feel free to contact me and I’ll post your work on the website. I write poetry in the spring, summer, and fall; I should be back at it more frequently in a couple of weeks. Glad to have you aboard!

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  7. Loved your ideas – the only time I experienced any kind of block was after the Newtown shootings & I think it was just I was so sad I could not write anything. What pulled me out of my sadness? Some stupid politician spouting beliefs about how there would have been less deaths if the principal & teachers had been armed. So for me, it was outrage at stupidity that got me writing again!

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  8. 🙂 This would make a great morbid children’s book – Grayson could illustrate it. It teaches kids that they should look where they walk, watch out for spoiled food and dangerous Q-Tips, etc. there’s something catholic about it that reminds me of my upbringing. Meow!

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    1. Haha! I can see the catholic teachings as well, now that I look back on it. 😀 I’ll see what the hubs can draw up– now I want to see it illustrated! 🙂

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      1. Morbid seems to be in now. Plus with that book “Go the F&*$% to Sleep”, people are looking for something different! You could call it Stupidity Kills, You’re Screwed No Matter What, or We’re All Doomed or something fun like that. meow!

        Rara – I’m sorry I didn’t do the Prompt. I’ve got some stuff I have to do (editing 😦 barf) and I’ve been too busy with it to have fun. Sorry for being an ass, saying I’d do it and not.

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  9. I don’t know why, but the Q-tip one was especially mortifying for me, haha. Also, I did not see the last one coming! Brilliant post, Rara. =D

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  10. Great stuff! Did not see the last one coming – definitely thought you were going to off the kid swimming rather than the fisherman who caught him. “Dinner tasted a bit funny that night…”

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    1. That’s odd, Indira! You should just be able to comment since it looks like you’re logged in… It would be extremely tiring to type all that in each time! I wonder why it’s not working for you??

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  11. Those are great! I write satirical/humorous obituaries for inanimate objects, mythological figures, whatever pops into my head, when I’m blocked. I don’t feel so weird about it now, thank you! 🙂

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  12. My cure is usually artwork. So if you see a ton of artwork pop up on my blog, know I might be having a bit of writer’s block. Sometimes I get both artist’s block and writer’s block at the same time, though. I call this “creative drain” or “brain leak” and it drives me insane.

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