jonathon hilton, rarasaur, there's a dino behind you

Guest Post: Jon Hilton Introduces the Power of We

Please welcome my guest blogger, Jonathon Hilton!  If you haven’t visited Jon’s site already, then snap to it– you’ll find a ton of inspirational stories that way!  Send tons of rawr-love his way! http://www.jonathanhilton.com/

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

There was a couple I knew who were so in love that everything they did was for the collective cause of their relationship. When one was not up to snuff the other would make 0000 BEST IN OTHERS2the effort to empathize with them and help to pull them through.

When the other experienced a setback, it was like they both were equally affected. They talked about it and made the next plan of action together. Their love was the most important thing and they were definitely a team of we.

Over time this changed, as kids came, chores grew, and the love between them stopped being the focus. Now there seemed to be a focus on the individual, like there was a ledger they kept track of what each contributed.

“I did the laundry today, you haven’t done anything.” The judgement stated with chores but over time it slipped into all phases of their lives. Once you start to focus on your individual scoreboard in any relationship you are going to never be happy.

You will always be able to find a way that you were shortchanged. This is the choice they made to lose the empathy in their relationship. Once that is gone, the relationship is on shaky ground. It has always been the point where my relationships have crashed and burned.

Take a look at your own and see if there is a ledger that you keep in your mind. If there is, destroy it or it will most likely destroy your relationship.

Living and Workin’

When it comes to work, there is a cycle that all jobs I have ever had went through. First there is excitement to be working in a job you think you will like. That initial excitement can last two days or ten years, I have experienced both.

quote-only-those-who-have-learned-the-power-of-sincere-and-selfless-contribution-experience-life-s-anthony-robbins-155249Eventually you start to look at your value and the contribution you see that you are making. Most people will eventually come to the conclusion that they are a pretty big piece of the puzzle.

Things that you used to do for the excitement of it at work, or because you knew it was best for the company is now a strain that makes you feel frustrated and mad.

Why the change? To me it is the point where you go from thinking about the job as something you are contributing to as a part of the system to thinking about what exactly is in it for you.

When you begin to keep track, then it is almost impossible to be happy where you are working. Just like in a relationship, the ledger will always seem to be stacked against you. You will seem to give a lot more than you get. That is when it is time to try something new.

This is the power of we, when you make the choice to contribute, to accomplishing a task, regardless of what it is, then you will find work more enjoyable and satisfying. If you are unhappy then you are most likely worried about what you are getting out of it.

I Shouldn’t be Your Focus

tumblr_m1ehb5aoh21r6la9zo1_500No matter what aspect of your life you are looking at, when the focus is solely on you and the things that you are getting out of a situation your concern for yourself is making the power of me work.

Which will simply leave you angry, frustrated, and alone. When you make the choice to practice empathy with other people and groups of people then you are going to have success, feel happy about what you are doing and love life, that is the power of we.

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Now that Jon has inspired you, too, visit his blog for more potent advice, practical guidance, positive humor, music,and value-based personal stories.  If I were you, I’d start here:

http://www.jonathanhilton.com/blog-around-the-sun/talkin-me/
http://www.jonathanhilton.com/inspiration/thirty-questions/no-judgments-here/
http://www.jonathanhilton.com/blog-around-the-sun/message/

14 thoughts on “Guest Post: Jon Hilton Introduces the Power of We

  1. Thanks for posting this, your timing is impeccable…I work with/for my husband and our relationship is becoming more and more strained for exactly these reasons, in both our personal and professional life. It ain’t easy! When he left yesterday for a short business trip I felt both resentful and elated that he would be away, and then I just felt kind of sad.
    I am going to post pics of our travels and our vacation (semi-retirement) home in Mexico around the house and the office before he comes back, so we both remember what we are working so hard for, to be together!

    Like

  2. Because most art is a single person endeavour I’ve become terrible at working with other people. On occasion people will ask me to work on a project and I have to say no.

    On the other side of that coin, I’ve developed this strange frustration, when I see someone struggling to do something, I’ll just do it for them without expectation of repayment.

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  3. A very appropriate post for today. As the old phrase goes, “What greater love hath a man for another man, that he would lay down his life for that man?” The veteran probably has the most out-of-balance balance sheet – the deceased veteran, even more so. And so I bust my hump to do whatever I can to make sure people remember. And that throws MY ledger out of balance. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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  4. Jon,
    As usual we are on the same wavelength. I completely agree with you about lack of empathy destroying a relationship. What you call keeping a ledger, I call keeping score. John Gray (Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus) claims that women keep score differently than men. Men rate bigger efforts as more points, while women count everything as one point.
    I also agree that selfless service is the way to happiness in our careers and life. You know my mantra–“Love all/Serve all.”
    Great post. So happy to find you at Rara’s. {{{Hugs}}} to you both. Love, Kozo

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  5. When I got married first I was very young. I remember my mom visiting. I was working full time, yet I was the only one ironing, and cooking etc. My mom took me aside and said,”If you like doing all those things that is great, but do not come to me in two years time complaining he wont help. Start as you mean to go on. Do the things you like and share the rest”. I took her advice. We are still together after twenty years.

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  6. Wow, never thought about it that clear. But it’s so true. Fortunately the selfless view of things, the power of we (or the system), comes somewhat natural to me. Unfortunately, our society (the American even more) teaches us to look on what is in there for us on a personal level.

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  7. Hi,

    I have looked at your site and I am really impressed with its entire structure and content quality. Also, you are maintaining it very well. Currently, I am looking for the possibility of sharing my content on these kinds of blogs (as guest blog post) with my website link.

    Please let me know your opinion.

    Thank you,
    Dora

    Like

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