To my dear anonymous friend:
I started this blog a year ago, without consideration at all to the concept of readers or followers. I almost made a private blog, but it seemed highly unlikely that someone would just stumble upon me and then subscribe.
Subscribe to what? There’s naught but madness here!
But of course you know all that, because you’ve been here from the very beginning.
I received my first email from you less than a few weeks after my first post. You never comment, and process of elimination suggests to me that you don’t even subscribe– but your emails (sent at least monthly) show that you read every single word that is written here.
I think you’re my most loyal reader, even though I don’t seem to do anything but annoy you. That’s why I’m writing this post, in lieu of a final email to you.
It seems a fitting sort of flair.
I’d like to tell you that it’s okay.
You can be frank in your dislike of me because I don’t mind honest opinion. You of all people should know that by now.
All emails can be tracked back, you know– and the way you write “RaRaSaur” (the way I did when I first started blogging) is a dead giveaway.
The anonymity is unnecessary.
Thank you. You’ve inspired some of my favorite posts, prompted some of my most thorough proofreading, and lit a match that created several fires of friendship.
You said that my first tagline was false advertisement, that calling my husband “The Husband” was sexist and demeaning, and that baby sea otters do not turn into dinosaurs. After thinking about it– I changed my tagline, started calling my husband by his name, and dropped references to being a baby sea otter.
Don’t get me wrong– I didn’t and still don’t agree with you. But you prompted me to think about things that have made a very real difference to my blog, and I thank you for that.
Just for old time’s sakes, let’s address your last email.
You say that I hide from conflict. I most adamantly disagree. (See what I did there?)
You say that I abuse exclamation marks and emoticons in the comments, and overuse words in my posts. You are correct, though I’d rather be too warm than too severe– and I can’t always manage finding my way to the middle ground.
You say that I pretend to love everyone, but also secretly have favorite readers and bloggers. I certainly didn’t intend to be secretive. To be clear, I most definitely have favorite readers and bloggers. That doesn’t mean I don’t love (nearly) everyone who pops by.
You say that I am often too vague about strife in my life because I am wearing a mask of happiness. If I’m vague, it’s only because upsetting topics distract people from the real issues of the world like coffee cups and muppet babies.
Also, I’m just a happy person. I know how annoying that sounds, but it’s true.
Goodbye. I spent today sorting my email folders. When I saw my first email from you from nearly a year ago, side by side with your email from this week, I realized that it is time.
It’s time to do other things now. It’s time to write emails to people who enjoy reading what I write. It’s time to do a little less defending and a little more creating.
I hope, one day, you can look at this picture of John Stamos and smile at the weird centerpiece of our friendship, laugh at the mullet that has become our awful inside joke, and grin at all the energy we spent trying to meet somewhere in the middle of our two vastly different personality types.
It’s my fault that we didn’t. Like I said, I can’t always manage finding my way to the middle ground.
Thanks again for everything, my anonymous friend– I hope you find nothing but kindness and cheer in your future.