fellowship

Guest Post: Revis Tells a True Love Story

Please welcome the fabulous Revis Edgewater as my guest blogger!  He’s a regularly contributor to StuphBlog, and he maintains his own place of writing where zombies are slayed, chaos is created, and dragons are fought.  It’s pretty awesome. 

Revis is also my virtual coffee breakroom buddy, and has patiently listened to more than one rawr over whatever silly thoughts my mind tangled up that day.  (Socially, I’m that person who leans against the water cooler and talks for an hour– and Revis is the guy who acts like that’s the reason the water cooler is there.)

See? Don’t you feel the rawr love for him already? Be sure to visit his site and boomerang some of that love right back his way!

http://revisedgewater.wordpress.com/

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“Turn and face me.”

He didn’t want to do it. If he turned and faced the priest, he would have to look away from the woman who would soon be his wife. Until this point, they had stared into each others eyes the entire ceremony. Reluctantly, he did as he was told. The priest smiled at him, apparently sensing what was going through his mind.

Continuing on with the service, the priest began speaking about the institution of marriage. Tuning it out, he kept sneaking glances at his bride out of the corner of his eye. He saw that she was doing the same, looking at the priest just enough to fool him into thinking they were paying attention to him. After what seemed like hours, the priest finally got to the part he had been waiting for. They were told to face each other, which they did with glee.

“Do you, Amy,” the priest began, “take this man, Anthony, to be your lawful wedded husband: To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?”

“I do,” she replied.

She blew out a sigh of relief as the priest turned to Anthony and asked him the same question. Before he had a chance to answer, that’s when it happened. A loud noise filled the church. Everyone heard it, but nobody could believe it. Someone had passed gas.

Anthony turned to the crowd to determine who the culprit was. The way they were looking up at him told him that it had come from his direction. He turned back to his bride. Amy’s face was starting to turn bright red, telling him that she was very angry. That meant that it had come from him.

As parents silenced the children in the congregation who were chuckling, Anthony cleared his throat and said his, “I do.”

The priest continued on as if nothing had happened.

A minute later, the couple walked down the aisle, past the ushers, and straight out the door. Anthony looked deep into Amy’s eyes and was just about to apologize when she stopped him. The look of anger on her face was quickly replaced by one of guilt. “It was me,” she confessed.

I knew it, he thought to himself.

I knew I was so nervous that I’d be too clenched to let anything out.  He looked at her, wanting to be mad himself. After all, she did just make him look like a fool in front of his entire family.

He could tell everyone the truth.

His best man, his brother Jake, was the first one out the door. “Seriously, Tony, you couldn’t wait another two minutes before doing that,” Jake quipped.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the pleading look upon his wife’s face and he knew he couldn’t tell everyone.

In fact, if it was possible, the whole thing made him love her even more.

“What can I say,” Anthony replied. “She brings out the best in me.”

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That’s love, friends.  That’s love.  Now that you’ve mesmerized by Revis’ ability to weave a tale, be sure to pop by his place and check out his writings– from the blogosphere fairy tale he’s co-writing, to the non-fiction accounts of being an awesome dad, to the legendary tales of Captain Procrastination.  He’s also looking for guest bloggers, so if you’ve enjoyed seeing all the guest bloggers here, I’d check out the opportunity! I’d start here:

Alright, so tell the truth– inquiring dinos want to know.  Would you have taken the fall for the love of your life?  

39 comments

  1. Of course I would havae taken the fall. Delcious blackmail to hold over her for the rest of our marriage! Muahahah, oh… um… yeah, because I love her and stuff and wouldn’t want her to suffer the embarrassment… or something like that…

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  2. Yep, you’d have to take the rap for this one. As Becky Thatcher said to Tom Sawyer, ‘OhTom! How could you be so noble?’ Lots of brownie points for those occasions when Tony does something a little less selfless.

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  3. If it had been me, I would have probably cursed in the middle of the ceremony and given myself away. If it was my beloved, I would have fallen over laughing. Either way, we could then send the video in to one of those shows that give away money for “funny” moments…wait, do they still have those?

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  4. Coming from Revis, or anything from Stuphblog, I would have expected nothing less than such gallantry. And romance to boot!

    FS still enter than a wedding my hubby and I attended, oh more than 30 years ago. One of his college buddies was getting married. By did have a wild bachelor party the night before. The groom was still bleary-eyed and intoxicated at the wedding. He threw up at the priest. When it was time for the momentous kiss, I have to say, I felt really sorry for the bride although I did not know her personally. She did not look like she wanted to plant her lips on his!

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  5. Our officiant kept chiding us to wait for the end to kiss each other.
    Oh, and I stuck my tongue out at my girl during the ceremony,,
    Hey,sometimes you just gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

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  6. That was like a breath of fresh air… with a slightly unpleasant smell… ha! I don’t suppose you would be interested in popping over to my blog and helping us write a comedy action adventure docudrama porno, would you???

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