absurdity

short apologies

1

To the gas station worker who told 7-year-old me that eating through two tubs of red vines on a two-hour car ride was both ill-advised and impossible:

You were right about it being ill-advised. I’m sorry for arguing with you when you were only trying to help.
P.S. It wasn’t even close to impossible.

bucket

2

To the saleswoman at Nordstrom who asked 23-year-old me if I’d be back to buy that scarf:

By now you know must know that I didn’t come back.  Also, I don’t wear scarves.  I’m sorry for lying.  I didn’t know how to explain that the red cashmere coat in your section reminded me of someone I loved and lost.   I was mesmerized by it, not listening to you– which is rude on so many counts.  I know you probably have people lie straight to your face all day, but as a fellow salesperson– I try to do better, and I have ever since that day.  Your authenticity set me straight.  Thank you for your help.

3

To the old woman trying to sell tamales outside my grocery store last week:

I’m sorry I didn’t buy your tamales.  I’m sorry I thought they might be poisoned.  I have no idea where thoughts like that come from, but I do know they’re entirely born of my own crazy mind.  In other words, it wasn’t you, it was me.  Next time, I’ll be ready with cash.

4

To the canned air specifically labelled “do not shake me”:

I shook you.  Twice.  I’m sorry.

5

To my first real boss, who asked me to squish the spider in the bathroom:

I actually took the little guy outside.  I’m sorry for not following directions.

6

To the stranger who asked to bless my 16-year-old head of hair:

I’m sorry I didn’t take you seriously while you did the blessing.  It was years before I understood how heavy that sort of belief is, and how unwelcoming strangers can be.  Thank you for sharing the strength of your belief, and the beauty of your blessing.

7

To every cat and dog I’ve ever passed in any shelter or care center:

I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you home with me.  Believe me when I say, if I thought I could have given you a good, healthy life– I would have in a snap.  Thank you for making my heart smile even though I didn’t rescue you.

8

To every person who loved me who I didn’t call when I was suffering:

I’m sorry.  You deserved a chance to be a hero.  Please know that your love saved the day.

9

To the everybody in the dental industry who told me to floss and not eat candy:

You were totally right.  I haven’t had a cavity since I made this change.  I’m sorry that I didn’t take your word as an expert and I waited until life forced me into the change.

10

To my readers and fellow bloggers:

I’m sorry I’m behind on your comments.  I love everything you’ve said, and you for taking the time to say them.  I’m sorry I’m behind on my reading.  Also, for those who can’t stand it when I stop my lists at weird numbers instead of the classic 1-3-5-10-20, I’m sorry.  You were going to get your own apology at #11, but Captain Irony stopped my folly just in time.  I combined this one just for you.

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yeah write, nablopomo, NaBloPoMo_November_small


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Phew!  It’s good to get that off my chest.  Have you ever shaken canned air? Do you have any short apologies to make?

I’m a little behind on everything because I saw a video over at another blog (KristieWasHere.com) that mesmerized me.  I would like something equally welcoming, even though I’m not a video-maker by any range of that definition.  I’ve been on research mode, trying to figure out the easiest way to make it happen and what basic things would summarize my blog. I also hurt my mouth, which you would have heard all about if you were my Facebook friend and I swear it’s knocked me for a bigger loop than the pneumonia, which is thankfully significantly eased up.  I also finally started getting to fixing up my blog gratitude page and adding the testimonials that you’ll see on the top right.  You can add one, or visit the ones gracious enough to say kindly things, by clicking on the words.

What’s been going on in your life?

125 comments

  1. If you were in a 12-step program, I think you’d just have completed a step.

    We work in 5s, 10s and multiples of that because we have five fingers on each hand, five toes per foot. If we had six finger or four, we’d work in base 6, 12, 4 or 8. Personally, I’m very fond of threes and nines. Mickey Mouse is my hero.

    I’m very wary of street food. Not that I think it’s poisoned exactly, but I think it might poison ME. I’m amazed, awestruck and a bit horrified at what I used to eat … and suvived!

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    1. Yay! That makes me feel successful even though I couldn’t fathom what the other steps would be, ha! 😀 I’m quite fond of 3/6/9 for lists, too.

      I’m actually okay with street food… if they have a truck and a sign since I only really worry about the sugar. But she was just a lady with a luggage full of tamales. It’s really not that strange around these parts, but the city-slicker part of me just says “POISON, RUN AWAY!” 🙂

      Like

      1. I’d go with the city slicker. I’ve only gotten food poisoning a couple of times, but both were from yummy street food containing vicious (invisible) microbes.

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    1. No fairness at all! 🙂 Of course, there’s so much sugar in normal unsuspecting things… maybe it’s that? I’m not a tooth expert by any means, but I hear that sometimes it’s just genetics!

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  2. Ah! These little apologies- they are quite reflective of the fact that you have thought about such incidents, which further shows your understanding of the fact that little things do matter. 🙂

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  3. I shake can air. Any number of times. I’m a rebel like that. I also tear off those labels that say don’t tear off because it’s illegal or something. I’ve been waiting to get arrested for years. I apologize to all the nice people I introduces my ex to. They didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry for ringing old lady Minnie’s doorbell when I was six and running away. I’m sorry for making Sam (my dog) beg for treats. I wouldn’t beg for treats I shouldn’t make him. I’m sorry for that cookie I had yesterday. I know I shouldn’t but I did. Don’t tell my doctor. 😉

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    1. You are definitely a rebel, Jackie. 😀 Tearing off the tags and then admitting it on the internet? *looks around*

      You know, I’ve never thought about the begging for treats in that way before. I’d definitely go without treats if that was my only option.

      Cookies? 🙂 Don’t worry, I’m not a snitch, but we should really figure out a delicious sugar-free, extremely-low-carb cookie that’s easy to make at home. 🙂

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      1. Hmmm we should be able to figure out a cookie between us. Yeah I do all sorts of rebel like things. Um, I do. Well maybe. Let me think about it some more. 😉

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  4. The kid has informally diagnosed me with pneumonia,as of an hour ago, though I was told it was bronchitis. I am being a bad rowmie-columnmate in the challenge because of it. I do feel a little better every day, just impatient.

    I noticed the gratitude roll and was thinking of something to add 🙂

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    1. Yay! I lobbied for the ones up there 😉 but I didn’t wanna bug everyone or just take something that someone’s written on their blog without asking– for all I know, they don’t feel the same anymore. 🙂

      I’m going to kick up my Poblano/YeahWrite game tonight/tomorrow. Hopefully! 🙂

      I hope you really don’t have pneumonia or bronchitis– both are brutal. But if you do, remember to drink A TON of water and get all your appropriate calories. It makes a huge difference, I promise. 🙂

      Like

  5. Funny. I can totally relate to the tamale thing, as there is a woman that sells them outside of the grocery store that I frequent. Tempting, but, I’m sorry. Can one apologize for apologizing? : )

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    1. Haha, I think we both just did– so I’m going with, yes, it’s possible to apologize for apologizing. 😀 I just wish I could explain that it’s not a reflection of her tamales or her, or even the circumstance of her entrepreneurship– it’s plain ‘ol deep-rooted (potentially valid) paranoia. 🙂 Thanks for reading!!

      Like

          1. I started to write – send ’em to me, which made me think of my sister. She moved to Virginia and was out of her mind with hunger pains for a California taco stand she loved.

            As a Christmas gift, I went by the stand, which was a good 70 miles r/t, bought about 50 of ’em, packed ’em in dry ice with loads of sauce and flew ’em to – this was back in the ’80s – quite a project! She loved it!

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  6. #7 Made me cry. I always hate to leave them but I already have two and I don’t think i could give another the home they deserve. Friday was my birthday so had dinner out with the husband a, friend visiting from TX and my daughters family (including the 7 month old and the three year old. The dinner went very nice, but I did not know they were all going to end up at my house today. I am grateful for the time I have to spend with them, but….well there shouldn’t be any buts, I am grateful.

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    1. Isn’t it heart-breaking? My two take up all my time/energy/resources, but should circumstance change… we’ll open our home to more. Happy birthday!! I’m glad you had a wonderful dinner and time to spend with them… and, lovely lady, you can be grateful AND entitled to your buts. 😀

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  7. Love this idea. Where did it come from? I think I might do one. By the way it is not canned air. It is canned chemicals. And I lost it one time when some idiot sprayed it in my husband`s face. This is something I am not sorry for.
    Thanks for another great post.

    Like

    1. It was the tamale lady. I wished I could have apologized 5 seconds after I left, but there wasn’t anything indepth to say. So I decided to combine it with some other things that have had their 15 minutes of fame in my brain. 🙂

      Someone sprayed that stuff in your husband’s face? Grawr! I would not be sorry about losing it either!!

      I actually think a “Short Non-Apologies” would be a fun post, too. Dear so & so – I’m not sorry for blah blah blah. 😀

      Would love to see your version! Thanks for reading!

      Like

  8. Thank you for asking. I’m now one week away from being a Dallas, TX resident, so that’s pretty exciting.

    At my old job there was an older Mexican gentleman that would stop by every morning around 8a.m. to sell “trunk burritos”. The whole office fell into one of two categories; best tasting thing in my life…or…Oh heck no! I never tried one, too scared.

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    1. That’s awesome! I’m from San Antonio, originally, and Texas is fantastic. You’ll love it there!

      And yes, my boss swears by luggage-tamales. Meanwhile, I’m still too skittish. Next time, I’ll just hand her money with a note and ask her to gift the tamale to someone in need. 🙂

      Like

      1. Cool, I lived in New Braunfels back in 05 and 06. I loved that area. The one thing I miss the most is breakfast tacos. I don’t think I would have a problem buying those out of a trunk.

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  9. this is such a sweet, thoughtful and yet subtle list. thanks for writing it; i hope you dont mind me using this idea (with a link back of course)! 🙂

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    1. Of course not, Simmi, I would love to read your list! Thank you for your kind words! (And linkbacks are never necessary here, but of course it alerts me to run over there and read your post right away. 😀 Just wanted to let you know you didn’t have to!)

      Like

    1. Haha! It was one part confession, one part apology. 😀 If your neighbors have ever owned a can of air, I’m sure they’d understand. 🙂 Thanks for reading, lovely!

      Like

    1. What about Polaroid pictures? 😀 I don’t drink milk. but I admit to shaking really heavy dolls. When I was a kid, they had those squeaky boxes inside that made sounds. Last time I was with my nieces, the oldest told me not to because shaking babies was bad. So, that might have been my last toy-shaking, ha! 🙂

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      1. haha! I haven’t used a polaroid in years, those were fun! I don’t drink milk either, I was going to say “the kids do” but really only my son does, the girls inherited my lactose intolerance!

        That’s awesome, I love things kids say!! 😀

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  10. 7. My cat is from a shelter, and I feel the same way.
    And 10 – I’m perfectly fine when people make lists with more or less than 10 items. The less competition, the better. 🙂

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    1. Shelter kitties, aw, they break my heart. Both mine are rescues, too– and I just wanted to take all their friends with me.

      No one’s competition for you, X. I mean… you’re an EXPERT list of 10 maker!

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  11. Oh dear…I’ll accept your apologies if you accept mine, I keepgetting distracted and I have a backup of I don’t even want to think of how many blogs I should read :-/ …this is a great post, and enjoyed so much.

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    1. Thank you for reading, Bastet! My inbox is filling up with stuff I should have read, too… bloggers are understanding peeps, though. 🙂 That’s one of the things that makes this community so great.

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      1. You’re right of course, about this community being so great. I think that if I didn’t have their support and understanding, I probably would have thrown in the towel by now! 😉

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  12. Oops and sorry about your pneumonia and that you hurt your mouth…we are facebook friends, but alas…that’s another thing I haven’t been doing much of…looking at facebook. Geez..what HAVE I been doing?

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    1. 😀 No worries, Bastet. My pneumonia is nearly better. My lips are still swollen and my chin are still bruised from a flying plastic dragon (Thanks, DocMcStuffins) flying into my face while babysitting. There’s nothing I can do about that except wait it out. 🙂

      Like

  13. When I read ‘poisoned’ tamales my brain read ‘cursed’. I like the idea of them being cursed. In which case, lucky you didn’t buy them. Cause then you’d be cursed. That might or might not be better than being poisoned. Probably better.

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    1. Haha! I love your brain. 🙂 Cursed would be way worse than being poisoned. At least I could (possibly) get my stomach pumped to fix the poison situation– where do I go to fix classic curse situations? I mean, I live in The OC. If I started seeing bunnies on the heads of everyone I knew, or itching constantly on my pinkie toes, or losing my hair– I’d go crazy!

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  14. Love the list. Canned chemicals are a huffer’s nightmare. Dangerous stuff.

    I hope your mouth is ok. I don’t have Facebook and never will. I think ES and I are the last two…DJ Matty is leaning towards conversion…;-). I hear you are a persistent one!

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    1. 🙂 Persistent is a nice word for my super-nagging powers. 😀

      There’s quite a few sans-FB… and I was one, too. I shut down my personal awhile ago and haven’t felt tempted to bring it back to life.

      Now, other than one real-life friend, everyone else is a friend from the ‘sphere– and let me say, that makes it a whole different type of experience. I get to see TD’s kids, and smile at Mer’s findings, and post pictures of my new hair, and actually see NotAPunkRocker’s smiley face, and the day-to-day fun things that happen to so many others. The stuff that we don’t blog about but still makes us tick, the faces behind the stories– the spouses, and dance parties, and victories that make up the whole rest of our lives. It’s pretty great.

      … tempted, yet?

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    1. I was going to say that since my tastebuds developed, I’ve been all about Twizzlers… but it might be less about my taste buds and more about this incident, haha! 🙂 Thanks for reading, CB!

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  15. #4 cracked me up! #8 got my attention because I do the same. I would be in bad bad shape if I injured my mouth too right now! I am behind myself on commenting and reading…hugs!

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  16. I need to apologize to all those pillows and bedding items that I removed their tags that said “do not remove under penalty of law”. There is a long list of those, trust me. I am usually such a rule follower but not in that case. Lovely apologies, Rara. Lovely post. I am finding it so difficult to keep caught up with every thing this month but I am muddling along. Here is one more comment you don’t need to reply to. 🙂 Hugs.

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    1. 😀 Hugs, Beth Ann. That’s the fun/exhausting part of meeting a bunch of new friends. On the bright side, there’s lots going on and lots of new friends… the downside is trying to keep up! 🙂 Luckily, most people are incredibly forgiving. Thanks for taking the time to read! *hugs*

      Like

  17. I love this post! And red vines! …And tamales! And canned air!

    I never kill spiders either. I get sad when people do. I let them go outside.

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    1. Haha! I like that perspective. My boss did say that the ability to follow directions was her most important hiring consideration… I guess that’s why it struck me as odd that on my first day, the first non-obvious instruction she gave me was ignored. Thanks!

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  18. What do you use canned air for? Is it to clean your keyboard?
    I apologise for nothing. Nothing, you hear. Well…maybe my cat for stepping on her when I had no idea she was underfoot. Sorry, kitty. So sorry. 😀

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    1. Yep, your keyboard, the inside of intricate hardwares, fans, the inside of printers, and on occasion… diamonds. 🙂

      My kitty gets no such apology, she takes a nosedive for my feet whenever I’m walking. I’m sure it’s on purpose. It’s also possibly my fault because early on, I rewarded her with treats whenever she was “accidentally” squished. Now she’s willing to take the chance. 😀

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  19. A few more cups of coffee and I just might have an answer. lol Interesting list. Homemade tamales are the best… well I don’t eat them now because of carbs, but I have long admired the vendors who do all that work and sell their wares/food. I do worry about things like the cleanliness of food preparation and possible contamination. I never did when I was young… knowledge is power…but it can also put a damper. lol

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    1. Coffee is necessary to everything! I loved homemade tamales before I went off carbs, but surprisingly like most things– pretty much never think of them now that I haven’t eaten them in awhile.

      Running a small business is hard, whether it’s selling tamales out of luggage, or cupcakes out of a big building, and like you– I really admire the hustle and labor required. I just get squeamish about certain things. 🙂

      Thanks for reading, Dani!!

      Like

  20. I must be losing my mind. I thought for sure that I left a comment here, telling you that my favorite apology was #8, but I cannot find my comment. I definitely am losing my mind, either that or my newest hormone blocker is hiding memories or creating false ones. I yi yi yi yi! 😉

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    1. Aww, thank you! I always think I commented on something, and about half the time I didn’t. I don’t even have hormone blockers as an excuse! I prefer to think of it less as losing my mind, and more about being confident in the manifestations of my positive thoughts! 😉 Haha! 🙂 Thanks for reading!

      Like

  21. “To my first real boss, who asked me to squish the spider in the bathroom:
    I actually took the little guy outside. I’m sorry for not following directions.”

    Don’t be sorry! You tell them to do their own dirty work!!! lol

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  22. I personally like to apologize for apologizing. It’s one of my things. You should know that, I’ve sent you an email before. 😀

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  23. For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have eaten the tamales either, and the blessing? I cannot stand people in my personal space, it’s a bit of a foible I have, so I wouldn’t have appreciated it either. I loved this post. You’re Rawesome!

    Like

    1. Haha, well, he asked first– and I let him. At that point, I should have been more open to it. It was just too random for me to wrap my mind around, at the moment… it took many many years to realize how hard it is to be who you are in the face of those who don’t get it. 😀

      I have a feeling I’ll come to equal insights regarding the tamales in 10 years, ha! 😀

      Thanks for reading, Steph!

      Like

    1. I’ve seen tamales and burritos made in nice places and they’re still grossly assembled, so you’d think I’d be less picky.. but no… 😀 Thanks for reading, Randee!

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    1. 🙂 Oh, we all have endless apologies to make… especially when you get into things like canned air, ha! I just picked what seemed like a good range of 10 different types. Thanks for reading!

      Like

  24. Great post! I’ve shaken canned air, too. The can gets pretty cold 🙂
    To the co-worker I ran into at the store: I’m sorry I agreed with your suggestion that we should “do lunch” sometime. I never intended to see you again. (I suspect your suggestion was polite and you don’t expect to meet for lunch, anyway :))

    Like

    1. Oh good! I have a feeling the boss lady would not have been happy if I told her he was still alive, so I settled for “no longer in the bathroom!” 😀

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    1. Haha, I didn’t lie to her about what I did… but I didn’t tell the truth either. It’s funny how that always comes to mind. It’s weird how stuff like that sticks with you! 🙂

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    1. You liked a post over at WhiskyintheAM and I noticed your blog name and went over to see what was up– I love the optimism! You are rocking it! So glad you stopped by. 😀

      Like

    1. 🙂 She was just that type of boss. And terrified of spiders. The poor thing wasn’t even in the same room, though… I just couldn’t do it. Thanks for reading!

      Like

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