journals

The Perks of Being Accident Prone

Impressive Medical Knowledge

I wouldn’t diagnose you, of course, because that’s how lawsuits happen– but I do like to drop my theory in a sealed envelope and ask you to open it after you see a professional.  I’m almost always right because I’ve seen it all.  In emergency situations where there’s no chance to getting to a doctor, I’m also quite capable treating most basic injuries.

Doc Rara went to the School of (Literal) Hard Knocks.
Doc Rara went to the School of (Literal) Hard Knocks.

Fun Stories

If it’s able to be fallen off of, I’ve fallen off.  If it bites, stings, or snaps– it’s gotten me.  If someone else thinks it’s harmless, it’s totally not and I can prove it.

You'll never catch me again, Bunny!
You’ll never catch me again, Bunny!

Body Knowledge

I’ve met very few other people who know their bodies as well as I know mine.  At one point or another, thanks to incident after incident, I’ve developed a finely-tuned sense of what a functioning Rara sounds, looks, smells, and feels like.  I know what every piece of my body looks like under a magnifier, behind an x-ray, and in all various forms of light.

If there’s a problem, I know.

When something's not right, I hear the buzz...
When something’s not right, I hear the buzz…

Constant Reminders of the Love in Your Life

Nothing brings out the loving kindness of the world like slipping in the shower, falling down a flight of stairs, or nearly drowning.  It’s perhaps not worth the bodily damage, since most of that love outpours by request– but it’s certainly a perk.

That's okay. It's not your fault.
Thanks. I love you, too.

Klutz Klub

You get to be in the official club for klutzy people.  It’s a quiet group, but there always seems to be a teammate around saying, “No worries, friend.  I slipped on that banana peel, too.”

"Pure Luck" is one of those movies people think are far-fetched until they meet someone like me.
“Pure Luck” is one of those movies people think are far-fetched until they meet someone like me.

___________________________

On a more serious note, thank you all for the kind emails and comments.  The long story, which is really quite the short story, is that I fell in the shower.  We have a glass sliding door instead of a curtain, and I employed good fall techniques to keep from hitting my head.  Unfortunately, slamming my hand against the metal bar that the door slides on was unavoidable– and it began to swell only a few hours after I fell.  It’s just my left hand, but apparently that’s a pretty important hand, too.  I’ve been limiting computer time to the bare necessities in an attempt to make the healing go a bit faster.  I probably won’t be up to full speed for a few more days, but I thought I’d check in and let everyone know that I’m doing alright.

Thanks again for the good wishes and healing thoughts!  

junglebook

Are you a klutz like me, or do you have my husband’s cat-like grace?

132 comments

    1. Thank you, Annie, 🙂 It was the pain meds that really knocked me for a loop… the hand thing just slows everything down, but at least I’m awake now and the swelling is reduced! 🙂 Thank you for the kind thoughts!

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  1. Klutz! Do we get a badge for this? LOL.
    I’ve fallen in the bathroom before…just lay there stunned..
    slipped and fallen on stairs..my left ankle has this little “crick” sound specially when I use slightly elevated heels…oh..I managed to tear a ligament while climbing up stairs…though of course I have been on the bigger side of the scale most of my life and all..but yea. Oh..tripped and fallen on a straight road…mhmm.

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better and that it was too hard a bang for it be worse…

    So..welcome back!! 😀

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    1. Doorframes are the worst! It’s like they’re there specifically to be run into … they should be made out of something squishy. 😉 Thanks for making me feel a bit better about my klutziness, ha! 😀

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      1. Thank you for fixing the Flickr embed code to a link. The code should normally work on WP, but, it may be your moderation settings.

        I got the scar after a work injury– it’s a 1″ deep gash that took seven stitches. I’m very, very lucky that no tendons were cut, especially as this is my dominant hand.

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  2. Garry did the shower head bang. I did the parking lot face plant. If this were a competitive sport, we might make the Olympics. Heal, friend. The world will wait for you!

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    1. 🙂 The Clumsy Olympics– I could see that being quite popular. 🙂 As long as there’s financial prizes, I’m in. 😉 Thank you for the healing thoughts, Marilyn!

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    1. 🙂 Yes, I have them set for 2 or more links… no real reason. I think the bulk of the ones it catches are quite real. Maybe it’s time to lift that restriction!

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  3. Rara, I know another like you. Her heels will find every crack in every sidewalk, stair, ice, and down she goes. My excuse is that I move faster than my brain and eyesight or vice versa – I’ve leapt out of bed and done splits that left me dazed on the carpet. Been attacked by a cat stepping out of the shower. Stood in a doorway, turned and my feet slid away without warning, landing on cold linoleum which I hit with my chest and my chin – twice rapping on the floor. Walked into poles, burned with coffee (several times), etc. Yet, you so far outclass me based on your reported adventures, I declare you the winner of the Kindest Klutz Award. So glad you’re reporting in. May you heal fast and well. xxoo HuntMode

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    1. Ooh, your cat attack still worries me. I’ve been scratched up by a kitty, but never so bad as your fierce little feline! Thank you for the kind wishes. 🙂 Taking it easy worked wonders… I’m feeling lots better!

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      1. It’s not the scratch, it’s the bite – cats retain something in their saliva that is not good for us – akin to a racoon’s bite. You’ll know if it’s serious within about 24 hours – that’s when its important to get antibiotics. So, we’ve got that going for us! 🙂 P.S. What a very fine writer you are, Rara.

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  4. I’m a diagnosed klutz, so I hear you *sighs* I cannot even count the times I fell over or hurt myself in any other way anymore.
    I hope your hand will get better soon!

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    1. Thank you, Alynia! I’m glad to know you’re in the Klutz Klub with me, ha! 🙂 We’re an awesome group, I think. Thank you for your healing thoughts!

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  5. I”m a “spazzy puppy” as a good friend once told me – and I’m afraid Little Dude is a bit of a klutz like his mama. Believe it or not, martial arts training is helping him a lot, but he still has seemed to inherit his mama’s tendency to trip over herself- I hope you get better soon, my dearest Rara.

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    1. Martial arts helped me a fair bit as well– as did yoga– but I’m afraid most of my klutziness is on account of being easily distracted, and eventually that catches up with me. 🙂 Thank you for the kindly wishes, lovely Samara!

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  6. I was just telling my friends how clumsy I am, it’s really embarrasing especially at work place! But sometimes it’s fun that you can laugh at yourself too ya know. Maybe all us clumsy folks should join together to write a book(or movie; would be some visual) on ways to fall ,break anything in the way. Could be called Human tornadoes.(damn I am patenting this idea 😛 )

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    1. Haha! So true. Human Tornadoes would make a fun (or sad) blog, 🙂 depending on our humor. I tend to take it all in a good way– you end up with funny stories if you see it in a positive light. 🙂 Thanks, Sammy!

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    1. Haha! Oh gosh, I’m sorry to laugh but the chess punchline cracked me up. I fell into a chess box once and poked myself in the eye with a bishop, but that’s the closest thing to a chess-related injury I’ve ever accomplished. 🙂 Thanks for the laugh!!

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  7. A shower slip is nasty – get better soon. 🙂

    As nasty as an accident is, your post made me laugh. I’m a walking accident! Five car accidents (all not my fault and involving drunk drivers), nine surgeries, a broken toe, arm and leg, too many stitches to count and bumps, bites and bruises (including the black eye I gave myself on the car door) so numerous my family simply shrugs off the latest mishap. Glad to know I;m not alone.

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    1. Thank you, 🙂 I’m glad to know that the Klutz Klub has such noble company. 😀 You know, strangely enough, I’ve never broken a bone. I must wear out my guardian angel with my antics, but despite surgeries and strains, bites, pulls, bruises, stitches, car accidents, etc… I’ve walked out of all of them with my bones in tact. My family is much the same. They send love for a speedy recovery and go back to daily business– because us klutzes heal up quickly. We’re basically magic! 🙂

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  8. Oh no! Hope you are feeling better! I am klutzy but nowhere near your standards. My mom is kind of accident-prone too. One warm spring day she was wearing shorts and I saw many bruises (old and new) from random mishaps. I said, “Mom, if you go out like that people will think we beat you.” I don’t think the justice system is the type of knowledge you’d want to add to your list 🙂

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    1. My husband is always worried about that. He’s sure if I go out with my bruises someone is going to punch him in the face, so I try to be super vocal about whatever random incident happened, no matter how random it seems. 🙂 “I’ll take the cobb salad, and also, I slipped in the shower so if you could put the blue cheese dressing on the side… that would be great.”

      As to the justice system, I’ve had enough interaction with that to last a lifetime! 🙂

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    1. Funny you should call it that! Whenever I have a good fall, I always, always say “Ta da!’ when I’m able to stand up again. There’s a certain flair to it, I think… ha! 🙂 Thank you!

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    1. Haha! I’ve never had a nickname that wasn’t derived from my real name, so that’d be fun, 🙂 We have some fine members in the Klutz Klub… I think I’m rather proud to be a part of it! 🙂

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  9. I wouldn’t say “I” am the klutz. I have never “fallen” off of my bike, but a deer knocked me off once, and a dog knocked me off once (that one broke my hip and messed up one entire side of my body). I’ve had things broken and torn because of activities. But, I can’t really say I’m graceful either. Is there a third option?

    I hope you feel much better, much quickly. 🙂

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  10. So sorry to hear of your fall, Rara. And, like the meme, sorry to hear that you’re ummmm, prone to these things. Rest up, be careful and watch what you’re doing! Write when you can.

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  11. We’re going to have to get you an Iron Man suit to wear in the shower…. wait, that might not work, either.
    I’ll figure something out.
    Heal quick, my friend.
    By the way, I’ll do my best to get your 5×5 questions out to you soon, but I’ve been slammed!
    Stay cool! And safe.

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  12. DO look after yourself, Rara. We will miss your exuberance for a while but it will be worth it because when you come back, we will appreciate all the smiles you bestow.
    I used to be a klutz when I was younger. I have a habit of doing things backwards though. 😀

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  13. omgosh, Rara! I didn’t know! I am also a member of the klutz family…we should start a support group. I’ve done a lot of damage to myself over the years (luckily no broken bones, unless you count my likely chipped assbone…yes, assbone.) I’ve run through screen doors, been dog bit, crashed into a fence while sledding (that was a seven day hospital stay), cut myself with a butterknife to where I needed stitches (it was serrated!!!!) My first night spending the night at my hubby (then boyfriend’s) parents’ house, I ran into the bed post in the dark while trying to get to the bathroom, and got myself a fat lip.

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    1. We definitely need a support group! T-shirt, mascots, badges– I see it all! 🙂 And oh man, I’ve never broken a bone either except for my probably-chipped coccyx, too! *high five* We’re clearly klutz twins! 😀 I caught my arm in a slamming car door the first night I spent with Dave– he was terrified that my brothers would think he did something, but my bros knew on sight that I was just up to my klutzy antics. 🙂

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  14. I fell in the shower back in May, took me over 3 months to completely heal. I messed my knee up some. I could almost hear that shower chuckling. 😉 Heal quickly my friend, I was wondering where you were and was even thinking of sending you an email, but didn’t want to intrude. Big hugs of healing.

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    1. Oh no! I hope you’ve fully recovered from that shower slip. And, of course you’re always welcome to send me an email and check in. 🙂 *hugs* right back. I’m lucky that I’m such a professional fall-er that I saved my head and most of my body. It’s just that the same sport that taught me how to fall busted up my shoulder years ago and it’s just not quite as capable of catching me anymore. I am feeling better today, thanks to taking it easy… though I might have overdone it on the computer today, ha! 🙂 Thank you for the healing thoughts! 🙂

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  15. Glad you’re doing better, hope you heal up quick. I think I’m in between klutz and graceful.

    The sentence up there that says “If there’s a problem, I know” sounded like “If there’s a problem, yo I’ll solve it…” in my head.

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  16. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one like this! I hurt myself constantly, and like you, I am now so in tune with my body that I can tell when the littlest thing is awry. I usually know exactly what is wrong with me before I even set foot in the doctor’s office, and I’ve often told the doctor what is wrong only to have him confirm it and be shocked (horrified?) by my medical expertise. 😉

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    1. Thank you, Erin, it’s always good to know we’re not alone. 😀 I definitely think the “knowing” our bodies thing is the best part of klutziness. It really makes life sort of safe and comforting! 🙂

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  17. I have nominated you for the Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award. I know another award is a pain, but I did promise the nominator that I would try and fulfill the requirements. You are under no such obligation. The good news is the nominations should be blogs that I enjoy reading and yours is certainly that. Go here to see the blog: http://wp.me/p2Qoij-Uc

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  18. I’m a klutz… I stumble over my feet. I ram my head into everything. I run into doorways. I trip. I fall. I’ve ripped my shoulders open by walking too close to things hanging on walls. I’ve gashed my heads by leaning down to pick something off the ground and hitting the counter top, or a chair, or car door, or pretty much everything else instead. Whoops. These things happen. I’m pretty sure it’s genetic, because my brother and dad are the same way.

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    1. Yep, that sounds just like me! Except I’m the only klutz in my family… my mom isn’t exactly the most gentle human in the world with things, but she doesn’t stumble down stairs either… hmm. It’s a mystery! 🙂 Thanks for the good wishes and the email… I’m feeling much better today, and I think tomorrow I might just be back to new. 🙂

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    1. Thank you! I’m hoping so, too… Reducing computer time was a big help for my arm, I think… I’m hoping to feel totally better by tomorrow! 🙂

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  19. I’m sorry to hear you hurt yourself! (I was expecting to hear how you did with that XSLT, but now I see why I haven’t!)

    I felt I was a klutz in high school, decided that it just wasn’t acceptable and started making a constant, conscious effort to be less so. At some point long after high school I realized: Mission Accomplished! Why, I’ve been able to get to my seat in a theater without falling into someone’s lap for years now! Hooray!!

    Get well soon!

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    1. I’m so excited to try that out, you have no idea. Though I don’t have multiple users either so I won’t be able to help with that part… between the pain meds and whatnot, though, I can barely spell straight let alone implement code. I shared your post on FB and Twitter, too– and I was hoping more people would have tried it out by now, but I haven’t heard back yet! 🙂

      Being a klutz often has so much to do with just not focusing– which unfortunately is a trait I’m rather fond of. 🙂 I like having my head in the clouds– that’s where all the fun stuff happens. 😀

      Thanks for the good wishes!! I’m feeling much better today. I think I’ll be up and at ’em again tomorrow. 🙂

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      1. Yes, I agree, totally. It’s mostly a matter of focus. And believe me, completely with ya on cloud land, but there’s a time and place for everything. What happens, or at least what happened in my case, is that a few years of constant, conscious effort turned into unconscious control.

        As for the XSLT, I have a feeling that may be exceptionally technical territory for most. Might be why no one has bitten at the bait.

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  20. Welcome to the club!! I cut myself yesterday slammed my knuckles this morning and smashed my hand this evening which is presently swelled and sore! Oh man sorry you got hurt but I’m glad it wasn’t your head. We need your brains! xo

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  21. Ouch…that’s gotta hurt :/…I’m no klutz, walls, doors to name only a few are just always drawn to me…No klutz here 😉

    Take all the rest your hand body need rara, falling in the shower is not joke, seriously. See you when you are all back to normal (((Hugs)))

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    1. Haha, good tip! I need to frost that onto my shower glass. And yeah… it could have been awful. I count my lucky stars I only have a sore hand! Thank you for the healing thoughts!

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  22. Definitely a klutz. So much so that my husband is constantly banning me from activities that cause routine injury–I’m no longer allowed to hike on volcanoes, for instance, because I’ve hurt myself falling up one and down another. Feel better soon!

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    1. Yep, the husband bans me from the same types of things. I skidded down a volcano once, myself… but I made it up without incident, ha! 😀 One thing I do have a knack with is knives– I’ve never been injured by one, but still people worry when they see me with them. 😀 Thanks for empathizing and for the good wishes!

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