so we wait for dav(e).

I have two cats, and the oldest is named Perdita. Though we brought her home to be a cat to both of us, she’s been 100% Dave’s cat since the very beginning.  You can read all about how she became part of our life here: My Husband’s Furry Soulmate

Perdita loves Dave. 

She chats to him, responds to him, and comes when he calls.  She sits by his side while he’s working, and he’s even attached a cat basket to his desk to make it more convenient for both of them.

He says, “Perdita, do you want to help me?” and then she goes over to sit in the basket.  For the record, this doesn’t really qualify as “helping”.

I’ve even seen him just pause and look around the room– and she runs out of a separate room to sit by his side, as if she knew he was about to call for her.

When he goes to take a shower, or run an errand, this is what I see for hours on end:

She waits.
She waits.  Eventually, he’ll walk back in through that door.

Perdita and I have an odd relationship because, though we’re not nearly as bonded as Dave and she– we’re very much connected empathetically.

It’s more than empathy, even.  It’s einfühlungsvermögen.  It’s a deep understanding of each others feelings, motives, and responses.  I can always tell when she’s upset by something, and why.  She can always tell when I’m upset by something, and why.

It takes us both awhile to explain it to Dave and Flash.

It goes beyond emotional states, too.  My lungs aren’t exactly the best in the entire world, and some days, I feel worse than other days.  It’s usually small indicators– a light blue color that appears in my nails, a dark purple under my eyes, and a slightly slowed thought process.  Often, she’ll notice before I do.

She sits by my side, and licks my hair.
It’s gross, but I’m pretty sure she means well.

Yesterday, I began my post for the letter “E”, and what was supposed to be the simple telling of a story in the past, became a cry-festival.  Perdita was by my side before the first tear fell, and was sitting on my lap by the time I started, and finally just shut my laptop by jumping on it from across the bed.

Laptop bad.
Laptop make Rara cry.

I know if the house was on fire, and Perdita had the opportunity to save people, she’d rescue Dave first, Flash second, and me last.  No offense to the rest of you, but she’d definitely stop saving people after the three of us were out of the hypothetically-burning building.

She’s sort of a sociopath in that way.

But when you’re dealing with someone who has good cause to distrust the world, and good reason to be grumpy, being their 3rd favorite lifeform is still pretty great– even if it means you’re the least favorite of the lifeforms that she tolerates at all.

We have a solid relationship because of all our shared empathy, though I don’t know what to call it.  It’s not quite the besotted love both of us feel for Dave.  It’s not the easy friendship that either of us have with Flash.

But it’s something real, and something wonderful, and I am grateful that we found our way to each other– even if it’s just so I have someone to talk at, while we’re waiting for Dave.


Perdita is the theme of my Vlog for April 5th.  I asked her if she wanted to dedicate it to anyone, but she’s a grumpy little beast and basically said no. 



This post was brought to you by the letter E:

  • Empathy
  • Einfühlungsvermögen
  • Emotional States


Do your pets blame your computer for making you respond emotionally? Do they “help” you work the way Perdita helps Dave work? Do other people or pets notice that you’re sick before you do?


  1. Firstly that Title is easy for you to say! Ah pets how they read us, how they control us, how they give us their unconditional love. Some grow closer to us humans than others. All can sense if you are not well, angry, want to cry. Maybe gross, but she is supporting you by licking your hair. Bless Perdita, I’m not a cat lover, but the bond between animal and human is something that cannot be denied, taken for granted or ignored. Lovely photos 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What Dave and Perdita have is very similar to what I have with my cat Mini. Every time I go to the bathroom or take a shower she waits by the bathroom door for me. I sit on my futon when I write, or surf the internet otherwise, each time with her sitting at my feet or between my legs. When I take naps on the futon she lays on top of me. She talks to me, like for real. I keep telling her to shut up, but she doesn’t listen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So sweet! Perdita is the same. I can talk at her for an hour, and she does that thing where she just looks away at the distance, but Dave and her have very real, very understandable conversations. I’m glad that the universe put you & Mini together! 😀


  3. What a beautiful post! My dad has a relationship with one of my cats, Jerry, much like Dave and Perdita. Although, my relationship with her is very much einfühlungsvermögen. When I go to visit, if I’m upset about something, she always comes to sit with me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 🙂 That’s wonderful! It’s good to know so many people are bonded with our animal friends in similar ways, 🙂 Thanks for sharing about Jerry!


  4. I’d love to own a pet like Perdita, and I guess most dogs and cats sense when something is off with us way before the human race does. Plus, she is beeooteefool. If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the pound.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂 Oh yeah, she’s a beauty… but she doesn’t like cameras. Neither does Flash, but I’m determined to wrangle him for one on Monday. 🙂 “Bonds between spirits” – yes! Those fascinate me in all forms, too. 🙂


    1. 😀 Thanks, Shree! I know you’re a puppy person, so I’m glad you could appreciate the silliness of Perdita. 🙂 (PS- I love seeing you around again! xo!)


  5. The creatures always know when one or the other of us is sick. They pretty much camp out on and around us. They also like to “help” when I work from home.

    ((hugs)) to you, too

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂 Thanks for the hugs, chica! Pets and their helping… I’m obviously a cat person, but I draw the line at pretending that them sitting on my keyboard is “helping”, ha! 🙂


  6. My daughter’s beta fish snaps at me a lot, but I think that’s because I’m the first to turn on the light in the morning 🙂
    Seriously, I think it is not uncommon for animals to be in tune with what is going on with the people around them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Artemis (the dog) can tell when I’m angry, but Calypso is the one who works magic — she “helps” me work by sitting on my lap, and she sits near me when I’m upset. I’m pretty sure she would save me first if there was a burning building… and probably the dog last, haha.
    Icarus (the kitten) just runs around like a bat out of hell.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😀 I love the kitten stage where their entire life is RUN, RAWR, POUNCE, YAY! 🙂 It’s so exciting. On the other hand, I’m also really grateful when they settle into their cat personality. I’m glad you have the magic of Calypso in your life! 🙂


    1. I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m glad that it sounds like Bailey’s life was filled with love. And it’s wonderful that you found another faithful friend in Digger! xo!


  8. Our pets are absolutely more in tune to us than we are ourselves. My German shepherd, Goliath, always could tell when I was sick — and didn’t bug me to go for a walk but was satisfied with the back yard.

    I need a dog. Gotta get a dog …

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m not much of a cat person. In fact, I’m more of an allergic to cats people. And yet there was something so beautiful and lovely here, something about you and Dave and love and family. So I guess that might make me a Perdita person, and it definitely makes me a dinosaur person. Thank you for the lovely surprise of this. Rawr on!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sweet, sweet post.
    And to your three questions above: yes.
    Cats and dogs are amazingly aware of our feelings, sometimes before us.
    My cat used to type with me when she was a kitten.
    My dog rushed to my kids when they fell and tried to help them.
    Both responded to the mood of the house, parents and kids included.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Love this 🙂 Cats are special, even when grumpy – Chocolat (the black and red tortie) is incredibly grumpy but I certainly understand her vibes and leave her alone when she doesn’t want human contact. She’s not aggressive and has never scratched/bitten so I think she’s quite patient really. Her flip side is adorable, she’s so loving. Still getting to know the two of them, miss our Flossie (who died in July last year) so much but it was her time to go. I’m loving getting to know two completely different personalities! I don’t think people who don’t live with cats get just how unique they all are. I don’t think it’s human projection, because we’ve had four cats in our past and each of them was completely different.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry for Flossie, but I’m glad she lived a full life with love. 🙂 Cats definitely have very unique personalities! I think that’s part of the reason (sad as it is) that they end up back in the pound so often. I think Perdita was “returned” multiple times based ultimately on people not getting her personality. One of the wonderful things about cats, to me, is watching their personalities bloom under loving acceptance… they’re riots! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Perdita is beatuiful! (so are you btw). I have a pair of cats I couldn’t do without. They both have jobs. Mr. Jones is in charge of the dogs, us, the chickens and any vermin, inside or out. Ryka is in charge of making sure everyone is firmly ‘tamped down’ when we are sitting. She will come over and gently tamp us down, as if we are going to float away without her ministrations. Then she sits somewhere close and watches to make sure we don’t.
    I tell her ‘Rawr’ every day and she gives me the exact, I mean exact, look that Perdita gives you when you call her Chica. I feel so blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Laura! 🙂 I love that Ryka and Mr.Jones have such important jobs, 😀 That side-ways feline glance gets me every time, haha! 🙂 Rawr!


      1. I feel small sometimes. I try to be so elegant but…I still wear black socks with tennis shoes and drink fluffy cocktails like Chi Chi’s. Ryka is patient. Mr Jones doesn’t mind. He likes ALL women.


  13. Awww. I love dogs and cats, and they can sometimes become so attached and can understand us on so many levels. Right now, my dog is pining because my husband is away. It’s the same as for Perdita – Rudy keeps staring at the driveway because he knows that at some point, M is going to come back that way. Deep understanding – it’s what we all need, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Rara, what a wonderful story, if I were to have a cat it would have to be exactly like Perdita. Besides being number 3 in a Cat’s hit parade is a very good thing. And Perdita knows your pretty good. — take care, Bill

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how a cat can have two special relationships with two people… and they’re both so meaningful. I’m glad you & Noelle have one of your own. 😀



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