blogging geek

(J)ustification and Commitment

When I was a kid, if I wanted to quit something, my parents would ask:

What are your justifications?  … is it just cause or just ‘cuz?

I was allowed to quit based on either justification style, but it became increasingly apparent to me that quitting “just ‘cuz” always seems so frivolous.  My parents were okay with me being frivolous in my interests and paths, but I had to be willing to own up to it.  I also came to trust in their support.  If there was a just cause, they would often resolve it entirely, or simply be present in their support of my trials.

The question has become a familiar voice in my head. 

On the negative side of the spectrum, it results in my tendency to make short-term commitments only.  I never promised any college that I’d graduate from there– just a semester or two. I never promised any job that I’d stay longer than two years, or signed any contract that tied me in for more than a year.  If I stayed longer, great.  If not, I wasn’t quitting– I was just moving onto the next step, as planned.

I didn’t even promise a lifetime to Dave– only happy times while we are together.  That is a promise I can keep.

On the more positive side, I still think deeply before quitting anything, even today.  This stick-with-it-ness has led to some truly surprising and amazing experiences.

That said, I’m quitting Vlog Every Day April. 

Just ‘cuz.

It all started when I realized that my first video was taken down for violating YouTube’s Terms of Service.  At first, I was annoyed because I certainly didn’t post anything harassing, pornographic, violent, or anything else.  Then, I thought it might have been because the puppet I used (copyrighted perhaps?), and that made me more sad than anything else.

I read up on it, and it appears to be a normal YouTube experience.  There are processes I can go through to get it all running smoothly, but it’s more effort than I probably want to put into something that isn’t my primary hobby.  I’m in awe of vloggers! So very much goes into it all!

I’m nervous now, that videos will be removed without my knowledge when I’m not looking.  It makes my efforts feel very pointless, and very stressful.

I know.

They’re not important videos.  Not by any stretch of imagination.  But they are my videos, and I feel an ownership towards them.

I often go to great lengths to keep my blogging experience happy and positive, and full of light and laughter for myself. So, frivolous or not, I quit VEDA, because I choose happy and, put like that, perhaps it can be said that it’s for just cause after all.

_____________________________________

Speaking of happy, here are some of my recent submissions to #100HappyDays:

#100HappyDays I am happy for very large trees that keep the #sunlight from my eyes as I sit and chat with friends.

A post shared by My name is Ra. (@rawra.avis) on

I still plan on making one omni-Q&A video for my about page sometime this month.  I’ll feature your questions because they were all so awesome!  Plus this way, you still have time to throw a question into the pot.

How’s your relationship with quitting things? Are you a short-term commitor, a commitment-phobic, or are you in it for the long-haul?

36 comments

  1. Dearest rarasaur –
    Sorry your vlog experience muted your roar a tiny bit, time traveling beyond blogworld (I call it blogworld not blogosphere – it’s much less intimidating for me) can be a questionable business sometimes. But as always, your blog is roaring perfection of dinosaur proportions! Blog on rarasaur 🙂
    AnnMarie
    loving the look of your blog

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  2. Understandable. Vlogging vs blogging seems like so much more work and energy which you just might not have everyday.

    Glad you are still in 100 Happy Days! I have to stop waiting until the last minute to take my pictures LOL

    I get kind of competitive with myself so I am determined to stick to my challenges right now. Probably not healthy for other things in life.

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  3. I think I’m generally pretty good with commitment, but I do remember when I was sixteen and started finding out about parties and boys and decided to quit everything! Dancing, piano lessons etc … I guess that’s just being a normal teenager though right?
    I think it’s very commendable that you even tried Vlogging – looks way to scary and technical for me lol!

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  4. It’s too bad that Youtube was being silly — I enjoyed your vlogs.

    I tend to go for the long-haul initially but end up only staying for part of the time. I never really thought about it, but I guess you could say I’m a short-term commitor.

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  5. I was doing the (April) National Poetry writing Month, to write a poem a day. I think I made it 6 days, and then I quit jus cuz. It’s too hot to think deeply. Sorry world. I didn’t make any formal announcement though. Only my mom noticed and wrote me an “are you okay?” email… I said I was just hot. As far as the commitment thing… if you half ass it and it takes twice as long as it should does that count as being in it for the long haul? for example it took me 7 years of study, over a 9 year period, and 5 different schools to get my 4 year degree. Whatever that means, that is my relationship with commitment!

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  6. Sorry about the Vlog thing. My husband and I had a ‘Rara’s quitting her April Vlogs’ conversation and then it was all ‘Nooooo’ and ‘Whhhhhhyyyyy??????’ and ‘Meh – YouTuuuuuube’.

    Do what you gotta do. It was still lovely seeing you every day saying ‘Yay!’.

    Commitment is an interesting one. I come from a ‘say what you mean’ background. This is great in some ways because, once I voice a commitment to something I’m ALL in. I will be 100% reliable and will not let you down. What I said, I will DO. Even if it makes me ill.

    The first down side is, even if it makes me ill I will not give up. The second is, it prevents me from voicing anything. I never say anything in case it doesn’t eventuate. This prevents me from challenging myself, and trying things out. And it can also surprise my family when I talk about something I’ve been thinking about for months but they’ve only just heard of it.

    I’m working on this discrepancy. 😀

    Thank you for your blog and your vlog. 🙂 Happy days 🙂

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  7. as someone who semi regularly makes youtube c videos I know how, vexing it can become, the problem is they change standards far too often and end up calling things copyright that clearly aren’t, very little can be done short of all out campaign to free your videos, if you don’t touch the account you can just pretend they never get banned….

    ECHO ECHO

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  8. Long haul with every reason and cause to quit. It’s because Buddhism taught me that it’s all up to me, not my environment. If you want something bad enough or believe in something strong enough, the environment will do everything it can (you allow it) to cut you down because environment loves stasis and deplores change. In the process of fighting for your goal, you become a much stronger, more resilient person, able to take on even bigger challenges.

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  9. Aha! I got an idea!….. What if you just used your phone to record a minute or two of your passing thoughts,like on your way to work in the car, or on your lunch break. Then occasionally here and there just post a vid. I’d be like a little surprise. Maybe, but I understand your reasoning fully and support your choices. I love reading your blog so much anything you want to do will be a pleasure to share and join in. Much Love Rara Style! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Depends on the thing, I guess. I’m pretty good at keeping up with things, but I tend to fall behind if I get disinterested. One of the reasons I decided to become a writer was because I never get disinterested.

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  11. I am typically a committed kind of girl, but as I’ve aged I am much more okay with quitting something that isn’t working for me, usually for good reasons and sometimes just because. We can’t always know ahead of time all the ins and outs of something we want to try, so it goes without saying that once immersed we may not find it to our liking. My motto these days is life is too short to waste time on things that don’t truly make you happy, with few exceptions. I am anti-contractual agreements. I use to feel certain and comfortable with regimens that were unlikely to change, but now I do my best to embrace change instead of thwart it. Some change is very good and in our best interest. So in the interest of living and experiencing what lie has to offer… I am less committed these days…except to my wife of course. 🙂

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  12. Every so often, I have to find myself re-evaluating all of my projects and ambitions and tapering down to what is really important, and what I really enjoy. It’s tough sometimes to let projects go, but also freeing. Also, you can always get back into it eventually.

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  13. First of all, I’m sorry about your experience. It’s always with excitement that we start on a new project and disapointment is never fun.
    On the quitting question, the older I get, the more willing I am to embark on new projects with my writing, but I am also more willing to give up sooner if I realize that it won’t work. I experience then less worthless pain and can move on.
    Living here in the States has taught me to never give up. This is a great principle, although once in a while I think it goes too far. All projects can’t work and I think it’s okay (like you did) to acknowledge that it didn’t go as planned and quit.
    Good luck with your next one.

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  14. I like how your parents did that! I’m glad they supported you either way but still got you thinking about your reasons for what you were doing, which a lot of kids definitely do NOT do these days.

    I don’t think I have ever posted anything to youtube, so you are a brave vlogger by my standards 🙂 .

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  15. Sorry to hear about your bad YouTube experience. It’s upsetting when that happens and as you said they were your vids – that makes them hugely important full stop. It doesn’t matter how they might be considered to compare by others. They were yours and just as important as the most top rated celebrity vid.
    So far as committment goes, I am learning. I was chatting to someone recently who told me her parents had never let her quit anything she had started, even if she hated it. Same for her sister. If she started something, whatever it was – sport,clubs,musical instrument etc,anything. She had to see it through to the bitter end. No switching to something else half way through. She intends to bring her children up the same way. Whilst I don’t entirely agree with this approach in full, I took parts of it and decided to apply it in my own life, being a terrible quitter. The results have been very rewarding, and I am now achieving things I didn’t believe I was capable of and would normally have quit trying at long ago. Now I don’t feel like a failure. Even if I’m not the best at what I’m doing that isn’t a reason to quit 🙂

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  16. I actually have a phobia of commitment brought on by the extreme control I lived under. I feel under control when I make commitments. (Except for marriage) thankfully that one’s not an issue. Sorry You Tube ruined if for you. 🙂

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  17. Seems like a good call to me! There’s a Yo Gabba Gabba Video about not stopping and not giving up. I get the intention, but it disturbs me because it can be important to stop, reassess and figure out what to do in light of changed circumstances. Trying to explain my take on things to a 4yo is challenging, but I’ll keep at it. There’s good in knowing when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em. At 35, I wish I were a little better about sorting out which goes where. 🙂

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  18. Damn the YouTube Man! I was looking forward to your vlog … ah well, it was fun while it lasted. Onward! My parents were much less involved in my life really. I have some commitment issues but more than that I have implementation issues. I usually have a few things in my radar that I want to do but actually getting to the point of doing them is my problem. I do have pretty good will power so if something is truly important I will stick it out to the end but otherwise, I tend to bounce around a lot with stuff. If I weren’t so hell bent against labels and diagnosis I’d probably get a minor case of the ADD one stuck on me. Probably has to do with fear of failure? I don’t know but it is something I’m working on this year.

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  19. I was tagged for violating a copyright on YT too. I was like – Say what?
    I didn’t realize how particular they were about that – not like I was selling anything or making any sort of profit. I twas a video with my kid singing & the song was playing in the background. I think the sound is back. But still… the violation stays.
    Anywho -As far as commitment – I think I’m pretty good at keeping them. But – n some cases I only have 1/2 the control. So- I guess it’s not always just up to me.

    Have a great weekend 🙂

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  20. I don’t blame you at all for giving up on vlogging. I never started, and I wouldn’t know where to start, and besides, seeing my gums flapping in the wind and my crazy hand gestures wouldn’t be pretty. I still think you’re very Rawr!

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  21. I have to say, I’m not a big fan of Vlogs. If I “know” somebody through their Blog, then the Vlog always disappoints — cool cats who look uncomfortable in their own skins.

    I didn’t watch yours, Rara, for just that reason. I think it is different when you meet someone in person. But Vlogs aren’t good camera work — not the film equivalent of writing where you can change words or punctuation …

    I love you just the way you are, even thought I dont’ comment all the time!

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  22. That really stinks about the YT takedown. I’ll have to add “random TOS fluctuations” to my own long list of reasons not to vlog. I don’t blame you for calling it off. They were fun while they lasted, and it seemed like an interesting learning experiment. All part of the creative process: try new things, hone what works, discard what doesn’t. No shame in that, and it’s not like you signed a contract.

    About quitting in my own life: when I was younger, it was easy to quit the important stuff but hard to quit the unimportant. I dropped out of college twice, but I would keep collecting the same Superman series for years even if it became terrible, because I’d invested in all those previous issues and it would seem silly to give up so far into it. Now that I’m old, it’s the other way around: job stability is important to me, and my wife and I 100% agree on Till Death Do Us Part; but I have no compunction about walking away from a TV series I’ve been watching for six years and 120 episodes if it’s aggravating me that much.

    The aging process is curious like that. 🙂

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  23. Rara, your reasons for stopping the video blog are just fine and really no justification. I enjoyed it while it lasted but realized from the 1st one what a PIA that would be everyday. If you ever find out why it was taken down I would be curious because I am curious by nature. As for me and quitting things, Generally if I buy in at the start I am there at the end. I don’t quit much of anything, I do my very best to stay the course. Take care, Bill

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  24. I do give the things that I start a fair try and it may take me some time to actually decide to quit. However, once I do, I’m done. When it comes to hobbies and activities, I see no reason to continue something that’s not working.

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  25. Love the just cause/just cuz dialectic. Love your parents. I plan to use this on my sons, but most importantly I plan to support them when they pick either. On that note, although I am sad that I don’t get to hear your voice everyday, I support your decision. I’m thrilled that you are still doing the omni-Q&A video. My question for you is simple: what do you believe in Nature or Nurture? {{{hugs}}} kozo

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  26. Bummer that they took your vlog down, I thought you were a great vlogger 😉
    Like Jae, I like the ‘Just Cause or just ‘cuz’ phrase. Heck, in English it sounds way better than in Dutch anyway.

    (Btw, I’m ‘just’ Alynia, but I kind of combined my blogs in one Dutch wordpress.org blog, and now I’m logged in differently 😉 )

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