1 Month

It’s been a month since Rara went to jail, and as time stretches on, things seem to be getting harder and harder.

The other day during a discussion, I defined hope as: An intentionally false belief to help you get through a difficult time.

And perhaps that is what is slowly dwindling.  The hope that this might suddenly work itself out.  Some legal higher-up, would come and say, “This has been all a mistake, you really are a good person, you’re free to go.”  An intentionally false belief, to help cushion the initial shock.

Rara has a court date set for the 11th, though from the sounds of it, neither her defender or the prosecutor will make it.  So, she’ll sit and wait by herself all day.

She has received many letters, but can’t reply to anyone outside the US, due to the cost of postage.  And to the three who may know, she happened to receive three letters on the same day, the content of which she took as a sign of dreams, portents and messages to stay strong.

And without further ado, another letter from Rara.  Click the image to see the full size version.

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85 thoughts on “1 Month

  1. I keep hoping for a Deus Ex Machina … rationality in a situation that seems insane. I’m not so much an optimist as a believer that reason and right eventually have their way. I hope so. Because that seems to be all I can do.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thanks so much for sharing this letter. I wondered if there is some kind of list of what can be sent or not sent to Rara? I would be happy to send along stamps. Could someone let me know? Dave, I know this has to be torture for you. Please know that love surrounds you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I just followed you over at your new home. I’m sorry that took me so long to do. I’m sorry this reply was so late in coming. Thank you for being here when I was not. I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Vanessa-Jane, I thought of you this week as I put the finishing touches on the cover for my poetry book. You’ve been telling me to write a book before any of this even began, 🙂 and I still will– but I’m starting with poetry. Thank you for being here when I was not, thank you for sharing your strength. I know Dave appreciated it, and so do I. I am sorry it took me so long to respond in gratitude. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I’m so pleased Rara that you’re doing a poetry book. You have no need to apologise for anything, you radiate gratitude out to the world even when you don’t put it into words. I’m not very regular with my comments on blogs and I always feel bad about that, but I often carry people in my thoughts when I know they’re going through hard times, or when they’re going through happy times of course!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. So, they’ll just continue her case into another future date? (not expecting an answer, just incredulous that her legal team can’t make it).

    Thank you again for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hang in there, both of you. I am adding to your prayers for Rara. Hope isn’t something that is deliberately false. It’s something we deliberately believe in. There are many things like that in our lives. Like confidence: believing when we can do something even if we have never done it before; like marriage: believing we will love someone for the rest of our lives and promising that, even if we don’t know for sure if that is true because the future is not yet here. It’s like believing in miracles, because we know people who have themselves experienced them. That’s hope. 🙂 And it’s perfectly real. I have my fingers crossed for Rara, with very real hope entwined in them. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  5. thank you for sharing this letter! i will keep writing to her in hopes it helps the days be more pleasant. is there anything we can do for her? can we send money to her commissary account? is there a book she would like from amazon?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The commissary account is frustrating because there’s no real way to tell how much is on there.
      As far as books, I think she’s leaning towards nonfiction, some thing new to learn. As far as I know she only had a Tagalog book.

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  6. I just finished the book version of “Orange is the New Black.” Even though the author was guilty of her crime, reading about her experience often made me think of Rara and wonder about how she is. Thank you so much for sharing her letter. Now I know that she has received no letters from Ohio. I think I shall have to remedy that.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I completely apologize for taking so long to respond back to you. Thank you for your kind words. I am glad people (Rara as well as the gentleman who helped out with encouraging and spreading the word about it) are enjoying it.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It made me smile and cry and smile some more. This is beautiful. Facebook brought up this post as a “memory” just today and it was painfully sad. Then I saw this and… well. It’s still sad– everything that happened– but I feel a lot less lonely and hurt about it. Thank you. I want to apologize for taking so long to see it, but I’m just so grateful that it was here today right now when I needed it that instead of apologizing I”m just going to say thank you for your magic road sign. *mwah.

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  7. Dave,

    Thank you for keeping us updated. I know this is not easy but don’t give up on the faith and the hope that you need to have to keep both of you strong. You both are covered in prayer. Your girl is an amazing woman and it shows through in her past and present writing.

    I do hope she got the letter I resent her, it got sent back due to art work, who knew? So, no art work. I sent a second letter too and put in a self addressed stamped envelope so she can write me back. I hope they both got to her and that she will be uplifted.

    With a public defender they have lots of cases thrown at them at that hers wants to take the time to look at it and see what she can do is a good thing. We need to uplift those people in prayer and positive energy too. They are the ones that can really work the miracles. That and a good judge.

    Again, I tried to find something on the jail and what you can and can not send but couldn’t find anything. And she can have religious visits set up that are given priority in most prison systems. Who do you have that can go and take advantage of this time to visit with her? It doesn’t matter what your faith is.

    Sending love to you both
    Juju

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I sent some hand drawn pictures to her, so as far as art, I think its at the discretion of who ever is going through the mail. I’m not sure about religious visits, I know she said something about religion in the jail not being allowed really. Letters and books are really the only thing she can receive, photos too. I don’t have any experience sending a book though.

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  8. Thank you Dave for sharing Rara’s letter. I don’t imagine it is always easy for you Rara, but your strength, and belief in yourself, is truly impressive. You are golden. You too Dave though you may not know it. This will end eventually, and you will both be home free. ❤ ❤ ❤
    I sent a postcard from Cyprus. I hope you get it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wonderful hearing Rawr’s lovely voice in this, even if it is atrocious to consider her in jail. And note to all, apparently you can’t address notes to Rawr in Sharpie marker.
    (Also, no “white out, unknown stains, stickers/tape, art work, perfume” and, wait for it… “lipstick.” It says so right on the grumpy, authoritarian red-inked stamp on the envelope I received back. Will re-package said note and use a plain ball point pen next time.)

    (Also, I hope Rawr writes about 250 of these pages, puts them into book form with her handwriting just so, and makes a million dollars. Because her words are gorgeous and even in such a crappy situation, her spirit is enduring.)

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Dear friends, I have probably never seen evidence before of super heroes, but I do believe I spotted two in this post — Rara, the Magnificent and Dave, the Amazing (I’m not quite sure if his loyalty or strength is the most amazing feature).

    Hugs to all.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. (Hug)
    I hope Rara gets a different bunky soon — one she gets along with. And I hope you’ll be okay, Grayson. I know it’s hard to stay hopeful, and I know these words probably sound empty because there is no possible way I can relate or even comprehend what you’re going through. But the dictionary definition of hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain outcome”… The second definition is “trust”. Hold on to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Reblogged this on A Sign Of Life and commented:
    I can’t believe it’s been a month already… It feels like yesterday she was writing about the change she felt in the air, and it feels like a year ago that she went quiet.
    I know I’ve asked this countless times already, and I know I’ll ask many more times in the future: if you have a dollar to spare, please do so. If not, please pass the word on. I know the blogosphere can be a truly great and giving place — if we make it so.

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  13. There are few people like Rara who can keep their head up in this kind of situation. In spite of my earlier and douchey comment, I’m helping, because I want to and because you’re a lucky man, Grayson, to have Rara. Guapo is a good ally – I put my word and bond on that.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. There must be a better way! I sit here and RAWR and there’s no satisfaction. I will send a lovely book if you tell me how to get it to her. It’s a doozy. She’ll love it. You take care of yourself, too. And the kitties. We are all with you in spirit. Hugs and love.

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  15. Raw, powerful post, Grayson and Rara. Thanks for sharing Rara’s letters, Grayson. It reminds us all that she is in fact still herself and that as this situation continues on, we must all hold her in our thoughts. My thoughts and good wishes are with you as well.

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  16. Thank you so much for posting this. I need to sit down and write to her again today. She wrote me the most lovely letter back and I really appreciated it. Iowa represents!!! 🙂 You both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and I can not begin to imagine how frustrating it is for you both. I hardly know what to say other than I care.

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  17. Reblogged this on Stiletto Momma and commented:
    I am in awe of strong women. Their stories inspire me and stick in times of crisis. The post below was written by one of my favorite bloggers. She “blogged” it with paper and pencil because she is currently sitting in a jail cell waiting for a hearing on a crime she did not commit. She is an inspiration and I wish her continued strength and courage.

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    1. Thank you, Patty, for writing and reading and being here for myself and my husband. I am sorry it took me so long to reply to this, but, late or not… I wanted to send love and gratitude. ❤

      Like

  18. I had a book of poetry written by a POW called Sgt Mogg. It was written in German Camps during WWII. Mogg wrote beautiful observations about captivity that were both haunting and inspiring, because every one of them ended with hope. Tell Rara Steph says please do not give up hope. Without hope there is nothing left. As long as there is breath in your body you must always hope. I am writing Rara a letter. Is the address you initially gave out the correct one? If not you have me on FB can you msg me the correct address? And is it possible to include a stamped self-addressed envelope for her to write back?
    X

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  19. Grayson, hope is more than just a false belief to get you through rough times. You wrote on a particularly poignant day. 70 years ago, thousands of American, British, Canadian, and other boys drove in wooden boats onto a hostile shore, and moved across an exposed beach raked by gunfire from machine guns to 6″ cannon. They all had hope. Not just the false belief that they’d be fine, 2 seconds before a German machine-gun killed them, or a German artillery piece blew their boat out of the water. They had the hope that their convictions were right, regardless of the blood and pain and death around them. They had the hope that takes an 18-year-old farmboy, who has never been more than 50 miles from home, halfway across the world to fight for right against evil. Many died for that hope, but more lived, and that hope drove them onward to secure Europe from its’ darkest hours.
    Hope, true hope, is a difficult thing. It makes you stand up when you want to lie down. It makes you run when you want to crawl, or sit still. It makes you march into the face of certain death, when every sensibility tells you to get under cover. And it can sustain you through long, cold hours without food or sleep, with shells and bullets whipping overhead, all so that you can see that hope realised.
    No, neither you nor Rara are storming Omaha Beach. But you’re both facing your own personal hells, when logic screams that all is lost, and the daylight will never come. But I know Rara has the strength to have that hope to see the dawn, and will hold onto it as dearly as any soldier on those war-torn beaches. And though I haven’t really spoken with you much, I know you have that same strength, because of the words you write, and because of the love that shines through those very words.
    Stay strong, my friend. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be quick. But you and Rara have that hope that sees a person through the most inconceivable situations. Until then, know that you have a huge audience pulling for the both of you. Take care, and pass all my best on to Rara.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t know if he got a chance to tell you, but he passed along your wishes and thoughts. Including reading this entire comment to me. Thank you for being here for us, and I’m sorry that thank you was so late in coming. ❤

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  20. kindly send me RARA’s Date of Birth / Time of Birth / Place of Birth…………

    maybe it is better for her to choose a number that will total to 9 ( for the time being )…

    I have been taught a bit of ancient indian astrology by the great masters , and believe I can help her ……………afterall this is the least I can do , for one who is fond of writing………. don’t worry, luck is just around the corner !

    thanQ………. P.S. :- if the place of birth is a small town , pl. also mention the nearest big place

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a kind offer! My husband was quite busy sorting through paperwork so I don’t think he got around to this, but I very much appreciate the gesture. You are a kind soul, and I hope kindness finds its way back to you often. I apologize that it took me so long to get around to commenting on this, please know I value you. ❤

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      1. you paid with a dear life gone , , , , , , , and the rain , it hides your tears , , , , , everything will change after december , , , wonder how U found a name of an angry goddess !
        , , , eyes like those of the cheetah !

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  21. Well, as she can’t write back to me, I’ll just keep on sending postcards – I’ll get one off this week. The colour will be a good thing. If I could get my hands on some USA stamps, I’d send an SAE but then there’s no guarantee that she’d get that to send back to me, is there? So postcards it will be.

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    1. So so very very late, but I wanted to say thank you here, too, so you would know how much it means to me now– and how much it meant to me then– that you were here through it all, for both myself and my husband. Thank you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Two years later, but I wanted to say thank you. I sent you a friend request on FB right now because I felt like stalking you. 🙂 But seriously– thank you, for the love and the peace and for being here. ❤

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  22. ((((Dave)))), I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you to read these letters. Please don’t lose hope! It’s in these terrible times that we need it the most. We are hoping for you, so draw on us when you need to. I would love to send Rara a journal. Will they let her keep that?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry for the late reply to this. Two years later late, but I figure gratitude keeps. Thank you for everything you did to support and uplift my husband while I was gone, C. I appreciate you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Hey! I’m the person from England who sends mail to Rara. If it’s OK, I’d like to keep writing to her (I’ve dug out all my colourful paper and everything!) even though I know now I won’t get a reply (though she did send me one – it must have cost her a lot). If you know that she’s prefer for me not to do this then please let me know. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Charlotte– a very delayed reply, but I am grateful– so grateful. Your mail was charming and lovely and brightened up my little cell. I appreciate you, so very much. And I’m sorry for how late this reply was in coming. ❤

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