black, please.

If we were having coffee, you’d tell me to sit down and take it easy. The party isn’t for another 2 hours, you’d say, and you’d be right.

Be wise. Be kind. Be true. Drink lotsa coffee in giant cups! #AlmostWisdomWednesday

A post shared by My name is Ra. (@rawra.avis) on

It isn’t.

But it’s the first party I’ve hosted in over a year and I’m out of practice.

I can still blowdry my hair and check my blog comments.
I can still paint my nails and sip my coffee.

And I still chat all the while.

If we were having coffee, I’d be complaining. I’d tell you all about how I’m going to have to bum a ride to my own party because my car broke down on my actual birthday. I’d tell you about how there’s not going to be a theme or favors because of the car problems.

Unless we count pie as a theme.

The dress I’m wearing is all white. I’m trying to wear white more often. It’s a color I wore with Dave because I could trust him to keep it safe. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of soda cans he caught in midair before they tumbled from my hand and splashed me.  I can’t even explain the quantity of marker stains he magically washed away.  All to be the hero who saves the white.

Maybe it’s time I save my own colors now.
Maybe it’s time for a lot of things.  Let’s go, Let’s go, Let’s go!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about how I bought that dress for $3, and I’d ask you if the mousse I already put in my hair was still good. I bought it 6 years ago and it hasn’t had a lid on it since 2009. I don’t want to lose my hair over this.  It’s just a party.

I’d tell you how I’m wearing the Rarasaur earrings Kim sent me, and probably that’s it for jewelry.

No wedding ring.
Is that weird?

Is it more or less weird that I still find myself locking myself into rooms just to feel normal?

You’d tell me to stop adding layers of nail polish to my fingers.
There’s enough glitter, you’d probably say.

In this, you’d be wrong.
There’s never enough glitter.

But I’d stop anyway because no one wants to smell nail polish while they’re drinking coffee.

I’d tell you about all my recent blog issues. How I resurrected Rarasaur magically and was finally able to abandon the temporary user account. How will be working as of tomorrow. How I finally updated all my contact information and I’m praying for penpals because it’s a habit I still completely embrace.  How I’m happy with this theme now and will be removing all featured images.

I’d tell you how I posted my last post with the wrong datemark and messed up everyone’s feeds and links.

Mass confusion, courtesy of Ra.

Then I’d reassure you about the wonder of my house-family, who has welcomed my cats, and my Mama, and me.  I’d give you the scoop on my house-dog, who has sniffed his way into my heart.

I’d tell you of the thai food we had for my birthday, and of the little girls who run around the house and make me so grateful to be a part of a world where children and animals exist again.

They are miracles.

Maybe we’d talk about my long call with Samara, where we gossiped about love and dreams.   We touched on the concept of online-love, too, and I realized I’m sort of judgmental about people who don’t think it’s possible to fall in love online.

I’d stop moving for a moment to fill you in on Kozo, who called on my birthday to send me love, and how I spend a handful of minutes a day, imagining him healed.

I’d tell you about Matt, at work, texting me through the car disaster.  #OfCourseHeDid

I’d tell you the TGIFriday waitress named Wendy who was incredibly empathetic to the car situation, and told me her life story, and asked me all about mine.  I’d tell you about Brad, the towtruck driver, who had a cadence of humor that made me laugh.

“I’ve never been in a towtruck before,” I told him.
“Well, you’re welcome, birthday girl.” he deadpanned, “Don’t spend all the joy in one place.”


I’d show you about a picture of a book Domingo sent me, and a feather caught from my girls behind the willows, and a beautiful package of art and love from my little E.

From my little-sister-dragonfox. A painting of us together. Thank you @alwaysericajane . #BirthdayGifts #HearUsRawr

A post shared by My name is Ra. (@rawra.avis) on

I’d tell you about my friend, Rich, who saved the day, and all the other heart-song friends who can’t make the party.

I’d tell you about an online friend — a phenomenal writer and talented artist– who knew me before I was Rara and before I was Dave’s wife.  I’d show you what he drew me for my birthday:


Which matched Tahira’s dinosaurs for me, too.


And the cupcakes Nerd had for both of us:

@rawra.avis Happy #birthday to us, my fellow #dinosaur! ❤ #cupcakes

A post shared by Nerd in the Brain (@nerdinthebrain) on

And the story that Revis wrote, with a little bit of me in mind.

I’d let you know that work is going beautifully, and I’d show you the pictures from Diamond Mike’s International Dinner and how I hope you can come next year because he’s the best boss ever.  He finds the sparkle in everything, and reminds me to celebrate every moment.

I hope, if we were having coffee, we’d be enjoying it with Deb and A. They’re only a minute or two away, you know. Just ’round the bend. They’re my guardian angels lately. You’ll read about it all on Monday.

And since I speak quickly and rapidly without break, I’d pause here, finally.  I’d be sure I missed a million updates, but I’d be out of steam.

I’d refill my cup and laugh because you’d never think that someone who takes her coffee so simply– black, please– could be so very complicated.

And then I’d put all my distractions away, and ask you how you’re doing.

I’d ask where you’re at, what’s up, and what dreams you’re chomping on today.
Then I’d listen.


Tell me.  Has the world treated you gently these last few days?

Weekend Coffee Share for Part Time Monster.  (Don’t worry.  My next post probably won’t have any words at all, least of all a thousand.  )


  1. I never followed through with project hurt-a-turd instead I’m just smiling now. Albeit a wonky smile. But that fits a ceramic Robot.

    We all dance through time and collide to spiral away again. The world is a big gentle giant – with a lack of manners – but nonetheless gentle.

    “I embrace you with a thousands arms.”

    Much Love from Holland

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I think if I blogged when I was 31 I’d like to sound like this, but wouldn’t have the energy. How you combine online, pen-pal friends with the more proximate, is really cool. Why do you think people get such a rush meeting blog friends in person, as you did with FOG? I wonder if we crave something more, and meeting people in person makes the world feel smaller, the way it can with pen-pals. Or I make the mistake of over-thinking things, and wondering when to hyphenate, which is subjective, but should minimise ambiguity, shouldn’t it? Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I saw a boat, this morning, in the fast lane of the freeway, on its side and no longer attached to its trailer or the truck that had been pulling them.
    Shortly thereafter I saw a car in the slow lane on its roof.
    And now I’m pausing near LAX before continuing my journey to long beach to celebrate the birthday of a dinosaur.
    And I’m wondering what I’ll see this afternoon.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. We still have the sidewalk chalk in one of your eggs from last year. J’s just tried to eat it, but D’s used it to draw on the walkway up to the porch.

      (He sometimes picks up the paperweight you gave him, nestles it in his hands and holds it up to his chest with a smile, but that’s another matter.)

      I would never say less glitter. I’d say, more glitter, more sparkle, more, more, more (as it suits you)! And I’d think of The Secret of Nimh as I said it: Oooh. Sparkly.

      Today I even painted my toenails. They’re only a little sparkly and I probably won’t choose this shade of purple ever again, but this little thing makes me smile all the same.

      Today’s gonna be great. We’ll make it so.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Not Frist. Blocked and in your spam box, I think! I shall have to tell you about that, not that my…nvm.

    ANYWAY. I just would respond with a happy smile and tell you that I’m so happy you had a beautiful chat with Samara because I know it made her happy.

    Thank you for making her happy 🙂


  5. “I’d refill my cup and laugh because you’d never think that someone who takes her coffee so simply– black, please– could be so very complicated.”
    Isn’t amazing how sometimes humans are so basic and sensical and sometimes so intricate and incomprehensible?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy Belatedl Birthday and Happy Birthday Party🎉🎈🎂🎶🎵

    If I can’t be in Long Beach to celebrate with you, I’m happy to be celebrating with you in La Jolla Cove, one of the best places ever, enjoying Wahoo fish tacos😋

    I will tell you that on one of the last days of my dog sitting here last week I was delighted to spot the little green plastic dinosaur facing a little blue plastic girl on a shelf above the kitchen counter. I have since had dinosaurs show up in random places. So I think of you and send you lovely thoughts of balloons and confetti to celebrate your witty wonderful self.
    I’m sorry bout your car… I don’t have one at this time, taking public trans. I see I just missed a bus out of L J Cove, have to wait half an hour for the next one, I’ll suffer here if I must, haha.
    I’m glad you are blessed with kids and pets to keep you cheered🎈
    Have fun, be well 😘❤️🌹

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Rara, you have so much love in your life, all around you, that the dress, and the car breakdown and the old mousse are just tiny little pebbles of irritant, You can shake them out of your shoe!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have been reading your posts on here and Facebook lately. Catching up on all of your news. You amaze me! I have to tell you this – I was referred to your blog by someone we both used to know and I instantly fell in love with the way your write and your energy. Then you sent me a friend request on Facebook and I felt special because you took time out of your day to do that small thing. You sent me an encouraging comment here and there – it made me smile. I watched as you went away and prayed for you daily. For protection, for grace, for favor and for strength. Then I saw something about your husband and my heart hurt, and then you were home. I said more prayers for you. I sent you good thoughts. Wished rainbows and hearts and glitter to brighten your days.
    I love how you see the world. How you share what you see and how you open yourself to others.
    I know that you probably did not set out to be an inspiration, but quite simply, my sweet Rara, you ARE just that.
    I am sorry that your actual birthday was not as you hoped, but you got to meet some new people, shared things with them and got to ride in a tow truck!
    Enjoy your party, spread your joy, hold the glitter container with both hand and shake with all your might!
    I love seeing how you **sPaRkLe**!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You are such a breath of fresh air my sweets ☺️ Have a lovely, lovely time tonight ::sigh:: you know I wish so much I could be there, and I am in spirit! May the dino force be with you!!!! xo A

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Maybe you are so high energy from all that coffee. I blog better when fully caffeinated. Perhaps your car breaking down and then getting towed off to get fixed seems to be a harbinger of renovation and renewal for you and your year ahead. Today is Michael Jackson’s birthday , another creative genius. Black coffee, white dress. Reminds me of his song Black or White!
    So pleased for all the blessings in your life and so excited when a new post of yours appears in my reader. I may want to take this to the penpal status 🙂

    Enjoy your faux birthday and party however you see fit. You can be reborn in each breathe, smile, and sunset. You choose.

    love, Linda

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Enjoy your day! Ah, to be 31 again. Maybe when I’m my next 31 I will wear sparkly nail polish, white and dance to unheard melodies. You my dear Rara are a special kind of person, you have to be…as you love coffee as much as I do! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. So … I’d love to respond in more detail, but I’m kinda stuck on something you said right at the beginning. It was the thing about pie. You seem to imply that pie would somehow be an inferior theme.


    Seriously, let’s have coffee one day. I’m meeting Deb in San Francisco on October 10 … I don’t suppose you could be part of that, could you? Or … do you ever come up Washington way? I don’t drink coffee (unless it’s heavily laced with other things to disguise the flavor), but I’ll gladly keep you company (and eat pie) and tell you about how Himself and I met online and were penpals for a whole year before I flew around the planet and grabbed him.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, my friend, you break my heart when you speak of your late husband because that’s my worst fear: losing my husband. You don’t want to hear that because I haven’t lost him, but you did, and you don’t need to be reminded of that pain from someone who knows nothing of it except the understanding of love and the fear of losing it, which are nothing compared to actually losing it. Before I stick my foot in it more (no polish or glitter here), know that your words moved me deeply, and I am wishing you healing, strength and love.


    Liked by 1 person

  14. How can anyone not believe in online love? That’s the story of me and you. Before there were phone calls.
    I hope your birthday party is as magical as the person being celebrated. xo!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I have a new email since we last exchanged: – I went completely offline for like 3 days deleted everything, not realizing that all the phone numbers in my cell were somehow connected to my google account and so lost all of those contacts as well – but that was almost a year ago now… I take my coffee black only when I’m going through a Twin Peaks redux or I’m thinking sentimentally about my dad (who is still alive – we just only see each other once in five years because of my liking to be on the other side of the planet…) normally I take it with a little cream. If we’re having coffee first thing in the morning then it would be good that you had so much to say first because I wouldn’t be able to start talking until my cup was 3/4 finished and then I would turn into the mad scientist…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m late I think, though I’m 10 hours ahead of you so maybe not. Have a wonderful party, have a happy celebration of the day of your birth, have a wonderful year filled with love and musings and hope and laughter and tears and life living itself in the best way it knows how. Hugs from me
    Alison ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  17. When I have my over-sized mugs of coffee in the morning* I often think of a post of yours from a while ago (that I can’t seem to find now) where you talked about how when you have coffee you start out the day with black coffee, but as the day goes on you add more and more cream and sugar until what you have is almost a dessert. I especially think of this when I have accidentally added more flavored creamer than I had intended and my coffee is a bit sweeter than I was expecting. 😀

    (*Morning for me usually happens in the afternoon. I have a very odd sleep pattern.)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’m glad you decided to join us for coffee this weekend. I hope you had a really fun party, and a belated happy birthday to you! What a time you’ve had of it lately—sending happy thoughts your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Happy birthday, Rara. No one can knit a cozy scarf of friendship like you. Each of those thousand words is a gift… or perhaps a party favor? Thank you for sharing your gifts with us, birthday or otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Happy belated birthday, my darling dino! If we were having coffee together, I’d not be drinking coffee, can’t stand the stuff. And black coffee is complicated, as is black tea. I drink my tea weak and black, and with a dash of cold so I don’t have to wait for ages to drink it. So not so straight forward. Rather like life, really!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ahhhh oh my gosh! 😀 *throws confetti and sparkles in the air*…*grabs Ra’s hand and twirls around until the ground makes way for the sky, the sun beams warms our skin and cups filled with coffee dance around us*

    ^_^ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  22. My coffee would be iced. And I wouldn’t have a container nearly large enough to hold it for as long as I would talk with you. I am so glad that your world is full of love for your birthday. And your non birth days. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Dear Ra,
    I am glad to catch up on the moments and gifts of Saturday that I missed. I’m usually always lagging behind, trying to savor the past. lol, apparently. Seeing all those pictures of dinos made me smiley. 🙂
    I am trying to compose a blog post for a friend about her book that I recently read, and which was recently published (but maybe it’s such a recent occurrence anymore). I’m wondering if I should have put in a little note in our gift bag: please always feel free to re-gift our gifts 🙂

    I’m thinking about friendship and how much I also love coffee, and tea. I feel at peace.
    HB from us,


  24. Hope you had an awesome party…leave it to a tow truck driver to inject humor into a not nice situation. Wearing white…brave. my coffee black…espresso preferred…straight…such the inverse of a wardrobe.

    You talked with Samara…wow. I can’t opine on how to meet love. My sis and her now deceased husband met cruising…I was like no one meets like that. Wrong, I was.

    Happy Belated birthday.



  25. Well, on the weekend I was part of the One Africa concert in Melbourne at Hamer Hall. And I took the dog – yes, the one mentioned before – for a walk today.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. You seem to be able to enjoy life and also the simple things in life, as make us happy too.
    Online dating is possible, I found my boyfriend this way 😀
    Wish you a happy day.


  27. Hey, Rara… it’s no secret I adore your writing, and your soul, so I recently had a smile come to my face as I remembered one of your statements within this post of yours. I had no idea at the time that I would be speaking to that comment in the way that I have now, and so I thought, maybe you’d be interested in hearing your comment expanded a bit from my experience.




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