a sonder file: blogger. vII

It’s my favorite Jester Knight King! Matticus is continuing our connection-lined path.  Today, he’s being honest with us, about the hopes and light we carry with us on our travels.

Welcome to the Sonder Files.

sonderfile

I’ve mentioned before that the largest benefit of being the Jester of The Matticus Kingdom is the freedom to take on any of a plethora of roles, to do whatever it takes to entertain the audience, to become whoever I need to. I’ve been a scribe, a poet, a bard, a comedian, an organizer, an antagonizer, and on and on. I’ve worn many hats. I’ve worn many faces. But, in truth, all of my many facets can be traced back to one of two main personas: Matticus the blogger and Matt the writer.

Matt the writer loves the challenge of building from a single idea to create a story. Sometimes those stories are poems. Sometimes they are songs. And sometimes they turn into novels. He writes because he wants to see where the words take him once the characters take on lives of their own. He writes because his head would be too crowded if he couldn’t unleash some of the personalities always jostling for residence in his thoughts. He writes because he must.

Matticus the blogger loves the community of the ‘sphere. He loves the interaction in comment sections and finding new sites to make him laugh, think, and cry. He loves being challenged by that community to be mindful of his actions and to actually live in a purposeful and meaningful way. The blogosphere is full of wonderful people engaging other wonderful people to be even better than they already are.

It isn’t why I started The Matticus Kingdom initially, but I stayed on for over three years now because of it. I blog because I want to be part of the community.

However…

Being a part of that community is dependent on having the time and ability to be present. You only get out of it what you put in. Those bloggers who can leave hundreds of comments a day across several sites and platforms also receive hundreds of comments in return.

The problems for Matticus the blogger started a little over a year ago, when he lost access to all things WordPress related at work. The servers blocked all content that had WP as part of the url. I couldn’t sign into my account. I couldn’t write new posts directly in the editor. I couldn’t leave or reply to comments. My presence in the sphere dropped dramatically.

I eventually found a way to reach a level of productivity that I was content with, albeit never happy with, by using my phone. It was slow and cumbersome but I was able to reestablish enough of a presence that I felt part of the community again. But then my office changed locations and I lost all signal on my phone at the new space. I get connectivity sporadically throughout the day and I try to reply to comments in those brief moments, but I can no longer visit others and I can no longer hold lengthy discussions. I am a shadow of who I was. Matticus the blogger is no longer and accurate description. It’s become Matticus that guy who used to blog sometimes.

Additionally, I’ve found that blogging isn’t necessarily the best place for my longer forms of writing. I don’t mean that as a criticism. It is just a truth I have noticed. So, more and more, Matt the writer has felt less compelled to show up and do the entertaining in The Kingdom as well.

I had decided to walk away from the kingdom and was just working through posts I had scheduled long in advance when the phone call came from jail, “Matt… something happened to Dave.”

Suddenly, my insecurities seemed pointless and I found a new determination to force myself back into the community. I went from wanting to walk away from The Kingdom to posting regularly again along with helping run two additional sites. I spread news. I became an active voice for helping others. I breathed life back into Matticus the blogger. Although the reason behind my resurgence was terrible, it felt good to no longer feel like I was letting everyone down. Because it was only then that I realized that was one of the reasons I had wanted to quietly just slip away – my inability to read other blogs and leave comments and really engage in that community made me feel like I was undeserving of the likes and comments I continued to receive on the Kingdom. It was important that I come to that realization because it meant I could redefine what it meant to blog and what it meant to be part of the community going forward.

So, where does that leave me now?

Matt the writer is still very much a part of who I am, and always will be, but it is doubtful you will see much of him in The Kingdom. Have no fear, though. I am writing. And as I finish the multitude of projects I’m currently working on, you will hear all about them.

Matticus the blogger will be around, too. I may not be as consistent with my posts as I was at one time. I may not respond to every comment. I may not visit all of your wonderful sites with the frequency I used to. But, you will see me here and there and everywhere. After all, I’m a Jester. I’m supposed to entertain. I need to entertain. To do that, I have to be present. And, so, I will be.

___________________________

weareallconnected.jpg

I’ve written about Matt before, but in case you didn’t already pop over to follow him then, go join the kingdom now.  {One of the greatest things about life, is all the magical kingdoms that welcome us in with open arms.}  But before you run off to his place, leave him a little comment here to let him know you’re thankful he sondered. It’s these types of messages that remind us how being present in our lives is often the most important path we can follow.

http://TheMatticusKingdom.com

19 thoughts on “a sonder file: blogger. vII

  1. I’m sure I’m not the only one who was grateful that Matticus the blogger came charging back as a knight in shining armor. And if he fades a bit now and then that’s ok, I’m sure he’ll be back next time a blogger in distress needs him. And meanwhile it’s always nice to hear what the writer is up to! 🙂

    (And now I have managed to meld you in my mind with the paladin in Magic Kingdom For Sale Sold, so there you go.)

    Liked by 5 people

  2. DJ,
    It’s a great community, and the force is strong in you. Your posts keep us all smiling or laughing or crying depending. And to keep Rara alive for all of us.

    Do what you need to do.

    I know I haven’t been commenting (or reading) as I once did either– but you know, some friends you can just pick right up with again …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are right. It’s as true online as it us in the real world – some friends you can pick right back up with no matter how long the break in conversation.
      That’s a good reminder for us all as we ride the adventures of our days.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. A deep thank you Matt for your return to blogging. It is through the Kingdom that I was able to keep up with Ra’s news while she was in prison. You’ll always be a part of the community whether you blog often or not, whether you answer every comment or not.
    Alison
    PS I really relate to the whole time crunch thing with blogging, with wanting to create and be an ongoing part of my online community. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed but the sense of community and support is always worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I adore you, however, and wherever you surface.

    I never did comment for comment. I comment when I feel compelled to. I try to share things I particularly like. I think I’ve gotten too comfy in my community in this World Between the Wires, and forgotten my manners.

    There’s a season for everything though, and doing what you can is ALWAYS enough.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. There was a period of time at work when i was able to read blogs, but was not allowed to comment from my work computer (now i can’t even read). So i ended up typing comments in an email (with links to the posts), emailing it to myself, then pasting comments into the links when i got home.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s pretty smart. I’ve been through a couple versions of workarounds, but now my work servers block anything with WordPress in the url. So, I can’t read or comment or anything. I was using my phone for a bit, but the reception is … lacking. It can take minutes to load a post but then it will error out when I try to like or comment, or it will never load the post to begin with. And then I get home and I’m under the oppressive rule of the toddlerocracy and long after I should be in bed myself because the alarm goes off at 4 and I start it all over again.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m with you on the ‘not having time to go to other people’s blogs’ thing. I’ve been trying to make time lately, but it hasn’t been working out too well. Unlike you, however, I’m not very missed when I go MIA.

    Like

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