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a sonder file: date, v.V

It’s BroJo  or as the Stories crew is wont to call him– Don BroJo!  We’re sondering along, but now we’re in Texas, as Jon takes us with him on his fourth date.  We talk about experiences shared, and how that sharing is a strong beginning to a bright new world.

Welcome to the Sonder Files.


At least I think it was the fourth date. Hold on a second, lemme do a rundown just to make sure.

First date: Turkish Diner, Half Priced Books, Ghirardelli Chocolate, Long hug in the parking lot.

Second date: Steamed Dumplings, Days of Thunder on the big screen, Fresh baked cookies, Nice Kiss goodnight.

Third date: Empanadas, All day Church Singles activity, Food Trucks, hot make out sesh, Two kisses goodnight.

Yep, it was the fourth date. I remember it like it was yesterday. Almost all of our dates back then occurred on Wednesday nights, but this one was different. This night we had a proper night out on a Friday. By this time in our relationship she had already received a key to my apartment and would hang out and study while I worked during the day. The night before I suggested we go to the local Thai place down the road from my apartment. She agreed, not knowing that I had a little extra in mind.

We like to eat dinner early, to help us navigate around rush hour traffic. We headed out about 4:30 p.m. Before we got into my truck  I noticed an email at my blogging address. I looked to see what it was and noticed it was from DJMatticus with a subject of “Emergency”. For some reason I decided not to look at it right then. We headed to the restaurant.

I always order some sort of noodle dish and she usually sticks with broccoli and/or chicken. She ordered first, and asked for a “number 2” spicy. I couldn’t let her show me up so I also ordered a “number 2” spicy. We always get a “number 2”, and almost always regret it afterwards. It was good, but in need of some cooling down.  Good thing I had further plans for our evening together.

Her mother is from Chile, and her father served a mission in Argentina, so I decided to take her to an Argentinian Bakery a few miles down the road from my place. After we pulled up she told me “If they have hot chocolate I’m going to give you a great big kiss!” They had hot chocolate, but they had stopped preparing it for the day. I still got my kiss though. She really enjoyed all the great sweets they had to offer.

After we finished there we headed on over to the local Movie Trading Company. I couldn’t help the nagging feeling I kept getting about the email DJ had sent earlier. Before exiting my truck I decided to check the email. It read…

Call me if you want (XXX) XXX-XXXX. I don’t have much information, and I’ll update you as soon as I get more.
Send every spare ounce of positive energy to Rara.
Her husband, Dave / Grayson, has passed away…

My heart fell. Why didn’t I read the email right away. Why hadn’t I written her sooner? Why didn’t I check up on Dave after he wrote those posts?

I can't delete them from my email folder.
I can’t delete them from my email folder.


I relayed the information to my (now) Wife. I had told her about Rara already, and how I needed to write her again. I responded to DJ’s email and we headed into the Movie Trading Company.

It was the end to a perfect date. Aside from the enormous pit in my stomach, we had a great time browsing through the movies and music. It’s the type of store that reminds her of San Diego, where she’s from. I was happy to take her back. We spent about thirty minutes in there, going up and down each and every isle. No purchases were necessary at the time, just the experience of it all.


I honestly don’t even remember when I first met BroJo, and I couldn’t begin to recount our shared shenanigans — from letters with colored pens in prison cells, to Stories that Must Not Die collecting, to cat picture swapping, to guest posting, and on and on.  If you don’t know him, now’s your chance.  Go on, add a little bit of happy to your life.   {One of the greatest things about life, is how we can always manage to find more room for happy things.} But before you run off to his place, leave him a little comment here to let him know you’re thankful he sondered. It’s these types of messages that remind us how life is constantly refreshing itself, and how there always seems to be a brand new chapter just one page ahead…


  1. Ah, Don BroJo.
    Thank you for sharing this.
    It’s interesting that I never considered what I might be interrupting with that email. I guess that’s normal though. We rarely consider what our recipients will be putting on hold when we send out our messages, only how they will respond.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for reading it DJ! It’s also interesting the reasons we put off certain things. Any other day I would have read that email immediately. For some reason it happened just the way it did…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks for this tender delightful and all at once sad story. We have all been touched by Ra, by Dave, by each other, by this wonderful community Ra creates so effortlessly. I was glad to read you married her – the girl you were dating, not Ra lol. The way you were writing about it it just felt right.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ugh. That was a rough day for our little family. We pulled through though, right? I still smile when I think about how we all kind of carried each other during that rough patch.

    I wonder when we’ll “call a meeting” again, Don BroJo. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Love comes in all shapes and sizes and forms. If you’d looked at the email sooner, you might not have gone out on your date. As it is, you looked at it at the best time so you enjoyed most of the time you had with your then future wife, and then shared with her the super important news. BroJo, don’t beat yourself up about the timing. I truly believe God had a hand in that.

    Liked by 1 person


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