my name is ra.


We took a detour this morning on my way to work, the long way around, past the ocean whose distance from me can be measured in single digit minutes.

Maybe it’s because I am a Virgo Rat, or maybe because I’m type A, or maybe because a million other things that define us in subtle or arguably-non-existent ways,

but I don’t like detours.

I feel the weight of them on my chest, flattening and numbing my heart.  It doesn’t matter if the way is pretty, I gasp to myself– it is not the way.

This morning– tired and anxious– I focused on the world in my hand.  I searched the internet for something that would remind me to be still in the middle of my chaos.

I found a page, that led me to a blog, then to a video.  The video led a site, then to another blog, which linked to a very old post of mine, from November of 2012, where I wrote about the change (big or small) I’d want my blog to make in the world.

And today, for me…
it was just the reminder I was seeking.

It is frightening to lose what you have already found.  It is disconcerting to seek what you already know– but maybe the turn you took is exactly where you already were meant to go.

Maybe the person you are becoming is exactly the person you always were.

Maybe there’s no such thing as detours,
maybe there’s only the way.

There’s a lot of maybes and possibilities that can be found in quiet joys, if you remember to search for them.

Remember and search, and have no fear of either:
You are headed in exactly the right direction.

So relax, settle down, and listen to the quiet that joyfully scatters themselves throughout your journey.



What change, big or small, has your blog made in your life? What change, big or small, would you want your blog to make in your life?  How do you feel about detours?


    1. Dem damn detours.
      and WOW. 11/14/2012…now that brings back memories.

      Be a tea towel in the wind 😉 Be a willow in the storm.

      With my blog now? Its a hobby. A hobby I love. |I’m not sure if that is change, as much as a realization that what I’m doing is just sharing my hobby with others.

      Some people play bridge, some crochet, some do whatever….I blog. For better or worse, I decided to just try to show up, write something, post something, fiddle, whatever, but show up, sit down, and enjoy myself. And that’s it. No labels, no pathways to success, no expectations, just a passion to write. And that’s all.

      So where do we go now, eh?

      Ra, Happy trails to you 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

        1. \thank you. I think having the photography thing as a second branch is almost like a spring board…you know? Someone once said, I think it was Mark Twain, would go for a nice long walk, to get perspective on a piece he was writing. So I guess that’s where my photography gets its exercise too.

          Liked by 2 people

  1. I used to hate, and I mean, *hate* detours; but of course, back then, I thought I knew where I was going. Now, I operate a blog that is pretty much nothing but side roads and aimless wandering.

    My work-life is all about planning and schedules and achievement and efficiency: my blog is about… um, whatever the opposite of that is. It seems very strange to be spending so much time on, but then

    “Maybe the person I am becoming is exactly the person I always was.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t like detours either sweet Ra. But I think you are right…that we are meant to be wherever we are at any given moment. 🙂 My blog has forced me somewhat to think about the things I want to say, and has been the platform to say them. I would like to see myself develop a more involved audience in terms of commenting and interaction. I have only a few regular commenters. I don’t know if my audience isn’t large enough, or my posts are just not interesting enough? I plan to find out. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I started a cooking blog five years ago as a means to give my daughter recipes to use in college so that she wouldn’t always be calling me with “how do you make stroganoff?” or “remember that goulash you always made that I liked so much?” etc. etc. But then I found I really enjoyed it, and eventually invested in a better camera and took a photography class (although sometimes that seems it didn’t help much, lol). But what I really like where it took me is that I have met such a wonderful world of bloggers, both foodie and not. I’ve made some amazing blogging friends over the years. I’m so glad someone detoured me to you, Ra!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t have a blog of my own, and don’t feel a need to have one. I make occasional posts and contribute the odd photo to Alison’s blog (, while she does all the heavy lifting of writing and staying connected with the blogosphere. My role as I see it, is systems support – keeping the wheels on the bus while we trundle (and occasionally hurtle) around the world. The whole idea that maybe I’m always already exactly the person I’m supposed to be is very persuasive, but damn it, that’s hard to believe at times. So thank you for your timely reminder Ra. Big electronic hugs, Don

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Detours are fine as long as you’re not time-managed to the last second, to allow as much time in bed and catching-up-online as possible. If you’re footloose and fancy free then a detour is a pleasant diversion, full of possibilities. If (like me) you need to get there NOW because you left late, again, because those last few minutes online were probably not worth it but still what you picked…then a detour is a time for feeling chest-tightening, tear-welling anxiety.

    And how has my blog changed my life? HOW HASN’T IT!?!?!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Talk about synchronicity! This morning I found a very old post, that I never published, about why I blog, who I blog for, the point of it all. It was a much needed reminder of what the truth is for me, about this endeavour we all put so effort into. I’ll publish it soon. And yes we are already exactly where we are meant to be. And we apparently need reminding – over and over. Thanks for the reminder. It’s all okay. Just right here. Right now. Nothing wrong. All exactly already where we are meant to be. Big hugs. Detours are just an alternate route to the same place. I feel as if this has all been written before. It probably has.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Gosh, I think my whole life has been a series of detours. My husband believes that Daily Decisions Determine Destiny (seriously, in caps) and he’s pretty convincing in his life. But seeing my parents’ lives and how surprising it could be (for better or often worse) taught me to stay nimble and enjoy the ride if you can. Perhaps we all need a balance of each. Wishing you a week (a year, an eternity) of quiet joys.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m a Virgo Monkey, and I have no patience for detours. You would think after all these years I’d have developed some, but also being a Type A seems to challenge me in that respect.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I hate detours when they are unplanned. I seek many routes because i need to know where the roads lead…in case of a detour. It is like an escape route. I love this…and how it led you to your former post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I understand this – I like to explore alternate routes home and that has come in handy when road closures turn my ridiculously easy commute into a time suck involving out-of-the-way detours. I hate the official detours. I get stubborn and refuse to follow the signs directing me on to main roads that can accommodate semis. No thanks. If I have to take a detour, I want it to be one of my own making.


  10. Detours? We grew up calling them the “scenic route” regardless of the existence of any scenery. Once, we stopped to watch a baby Mojave Green rattlesnake cross a dirt road while on a detour. Once, we sang songs for three hours waiting for our one way road to open again after an accident while on a detour. Once, I had dinner with a dino friend and her mom on a detour.
    If you look for the good, you will find it.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I love detours; they offer the opportunity for unexpected, windfall learning and experience. On a practical note, if I am travelling, I don’t like to be stationary, so if I can take a detour, which is sometimes longer than the route I intend, but it keeps me moving, I will do it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It is so difficult to stop and take time. Especially when we are young. Now all I want to do is have lovely detours that add minutes and hours for contemplation and reflection. Time to find the moments that will add to my spirit and my mind. Thank you for the reminder that it is okay to take those moments. Even when the detours may seem to take us out of the way it is just another path to where we are going and an opportunity we may miss the benefit of if we don’t stop and value it.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. What kind of detour? When you decide to go a different way even though it may be longer? That I like to do. Or one that pops up because they decide to rip out the road and you don’t have any extra time allotted? That kind can be stressful. Hopefully all the turns will be well marked. The nexty day I am likely to check out the map to see if there is better way that they can’t mark because it would be too narrow for trucks.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Many big changes mostly involving grief and letting go, trying to find peace and direction. Letting go of entering the corporate world for now at least has been big. Trying to center and find peace within myself has been the biggest challenge. The last four years seem like I have been on a detour and I am trying to take the positive look and lessons from it rather than berating myself for wasting time. See how that goes.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. My blog opened up a new world for me, as well as helped me through a difficult time, mostly because of the new world it showed me (and the good people within it. Thank you, Ra, for being one of those people).
    Detours are nice, because they always let me meet new people and get new ideas. I think me liking them is a by-product on being taken on so many detours, especially when I’m stressed. I won’t lie: I like using the path I’ve decided on, and in the first few meters or miles of the detour, I’m upset.
    But then, something interesting or good happens, and I begin to enjoy the detour.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I need detours. I use them to slow down. When I was in the US, and only on the way home, I would turn the music up and take the longest way back possible. I tend to use detours as breathing time. Or maybe I’m just scared to get to where I’m going. As if I know my fate and I’m trying to put it off as long as possible. Or maybe I just want to pretend that I’m not really headed somewhere. Or maybe I want to remind myself that indeed, I’m not really headed somewhere. The important thing of course, is that it should be My detour. I don’t want to be on somebody else’s detour. That would have the exact opposite result.


  17. Sometimes we need the detours because they show us some beautiful scenery we might otherwise have missed.

    Other times, we get hardships, but then we get lessons we wouldn’t have otherwise learned.

    Life may be unpredictable, but it sure is beautiful.

    ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person


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