a sonder file: howl, v.VII

It’s my HouseSister–Wolvie! She’s sondering us back to that moment where the world was reshuffling itself to make room for me once again. Today, we’re talking about how it is when we run into people who have lived stories we recognize– even though we’ve never heard them before, and even if we might never even hear them in full. We’re talking about how stories with jagged edges fit so very snugly next to each other…

Welcome to the Sonder Files.


My fiancé says to me: hey, my former bosses’ sister-in-law needs a place to live for awhile and I told him I’d discuss it with you. My response: What’s her story, why can’t she stay there?

I wasn’t really opposed I just want to know. I listened to the story, but perhaps did not “hear” the story. There was a certain level of apprehension, fear that one cannot fully comprehend if they have not experienced. I had been on the other side, the violent victim side. Did she come across the perpetrator in her time of incarceration? Would that person know where I lived?

The day arrived, and the gentlest dinosaur moved in. Most people can’t comprehend when you are out of the “normal” life is that we need time. She had just lost her husband as well and all the while my finance and I filled the space with chit chat, and idle laughter, I knew normal for would never fully return for a long time.

When she was ready, I got the story straight from the Rarasaur herself. The no nonsense of “this is who I am” from her took hold and I asked her if she ran across my perpetrator and I told her my story. There was an understanding look in her eyes. One of thanks and one of thanks. Thanks for not judging, and thanks for sharing. I understood then that we were both victims.

Once in a while you may hear a RAWR or HOWL. Don’t worry, that’s just us trying to make a new normal. Thank you house Dinosister for being you. May your 2016 be filled with many RAWRS.



Moving in with Wolvie and her family was one of the better gifts the universe has unfolded for me. I’ve written about them before, over here, and if you didn’t get a chance to read it, now’s your chance. Go on, add yourself to our little family. {One of the greatest things about life, how we’re always walking towards a bigger, more connected, world..} But before you run off to her place, leave her a little comment here to let her know you’re thankful she sondered. It’s these types of messages that remind us that life is constantly giving us opportunities to half our traumas and double our joys, through sharing…



  1. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for taking care of our favorite dino-girl ❤ You are lucky to have each other.



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