midnight’s mistress

Morning isn’t good to me, no matter how much I try.  On paper, he’s such an idyllic partner.  All the best magazines say that if I treat him right, he’ll treat me right.  All the best people tell me stories about how he made their dreams come true.

But I’ve never seen his bright side.

I wake up before I need to, and spend a few vulnerable moments in his care.  He overloads me, calling the light to my eyes, urging the birds to tell their loudest stories, telling the city that I am awake and it is okay to move the heaviest things there ever was.

Morning isn’t good to me.  He hurts me, even when I try.  I spend so much energy just working with him, balancing his power, that I have no time left for myself. My senses strain, my muscles ache, the world under my feet is softer and I sink so far.

I can do better…
so I do.

I let midnight kiss my worries away.  He darkens the room so I can see. He is not loyal, of course– he kisses everyone who looks him in the eye.

But when I am looking, he is mine, and we are as infinite as the sky that warms us.
When I am looking, I am his, and we are as infinite as the stars that light us.

I work through the night, both eyes open, accomplishing everything.
Never blinking.
Never blinking.
Never blinking.

I can’t blink… because when I do… he leaves.

And worst of all,
he leaves me with the morning.

___________________________________

I’m going to add this to my very long list of posts that are all about how I don’t like the morning.

My favorite of which is still this wonky poem….
https://rarasaur.com/2013/05/19/oh-no-here-comes-the-morning/

Do you ever find yourself talking or writing about something often, even if it’s really not that big of a deal to you? I swear I’m not a morning grouch, just a bit less shiny. Are you a morning bird?

49 thoughts on “midnight’s mistress

  1. I have never been a morning person….the night calls to me it always has. 🙂 I work best from late afternoon through the night. The swing shift has always been the best for me, but sadly…my wife is a morning bird. She sleeps sweetly near me as I write this….sighs…..lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will email you too, but before I forget, I want to tell you I’m planning a party in long beach on July 24th and would love you and your sweetly sleeping wife to be there. :D. It’ll be in the early evening late afternoon I think, so we’ll all be awake. 😀

      I’m glad your work schedule fits you. My nightmare is a job that requires perky at 7am!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am not a morning person either. Apparently I love the night, so I must be a vampire except I don’t have any cool powers, nor am I an immortal but at least I don’t drink blood! Sunlight burns me though and I might be a little adverse to religious icons…

    Anyway, enough about me. That is an excellent poem! Your poetry is one of the few that I understand… oh there we go, I like to talk about not understanding poetry! I don’t dislike it or anything, I just don’t “get” it. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I am a middle-of-the-day person as far as work is concerned. If I’m working from home, I don’t mind starting at 6am, but if I have to leave the house, getting me to work even by 10am is a struggle. Same goes for the other side of the day. I really don’t like to work after 5. Having said that, in the real world, I often have to work 12 hours a day! But if I had my choice, I wouldn’t work Mondays, early mornings or any time after 5pm.
    However, if you’re talking fun things, like reading novels, painting pictures, playing computer games and so on, I’m a night owl. I would stay up until 2 or 3am every day if I could and get up at 10am.

    Like

  4. Mornings are generally not for me. Not grumpy but certainly half asleep. I’m in automatic and I rely on routine – anything different I remembered to do the night before will be forgotten in the morning.
    *writes all the notes*

    My eyes are also photosensitive so, it does kinda hurt to wake up.
    *wears all the sunglasses*

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I so want to be a blissful morning person but it never seems to work with me. Being nocturnal, I feel live and excited but time flies like it’s in a marathon even when you’re not having fun. If you have ever risen at early morning, there is this weird fresh like new fruit feeling and the time dawdles worser than a snail.
    So I guess night is like a hot boyfriend and morning a dream husband. Can’t make up your mind!!😜🤔☺️

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I never used to be a morning person but I am so much more a morning person now. I think it is just the older I get the more I like the quietness of the morning hours. Lovely piece as always, Ra.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I read this just after I came inside from taking the dogs out before 7 a.m. Is it different if you live in a rural area? I love the smells and the sounds – the birds, the squirrels, my dogs snuffling – there’s a feel in the air you just don’t get later in the day. A bit of dew on my boots, a bit of a breeze. The bees were still asleep in their hive when I filled their water dish, but everything else was awake and seemed pretty happy about it.

    Please remind me of this in February when it’s -20. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Perhaps it’s wrong of me but I’m glad midnight isn’t wholly faithful to you, otherwise I couldn’t be his mistress too.

    Morning though, we have an antagonistic relationship and I’m something considerably less than shiny then.

    I do need to work on my relationship with Morning, I’ve been seeing more of him lately with Johns shift change and we need to find a to co-exist instead of me just being upset that he’s stealing away the time I’d like to spend with Midnight.

    Then of course I have to spend time with John too…

    Juggling multiple relationships is not for the faint of heart!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I am typically a full fledged nite owl, but when I am able to be still in the mornings, especially spring and summer here on the East coast, it can be lovely. I love hearing the songbirds and the scattering of squirrels and such.

    But I am most creative and energized during the dark. until I’m not.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ah, the rub for while you are caressing midnight there the early morning is asking me to finish my dreams and wake.
    I am not a faithful lover of either midnight nor morning. However, sleep, naps, and spiritual sojourns are my lovelies.
    So, as with so many things and friends I must ask you to meet me in the middle.
    The time and realm between waking and dreams.
    Juju

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I love your words, they resonate deeply within me. When my body wakes me in the early hours I do embrace it, I embrace the silence and stillness. It is the daytime that brings me anxiety, the heat of the day feels like quicksand and my instincts tell me to fight but that’s not how quicksand works. I love nighttime as well, though I’m generally too exhausted from struggling through the day to enjoy it.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh I loathe mornings. My lupus reminds me that it’s still there, anxieties are worse, I’ve had my worst breakdowns in the mornings. Truth be told, that’s why I started my morning photo thing. It’s routine, it’s positive, and it reminds me there is beauty in the world even if I’m a wreck. Some mornings it’s the single thing that gets me going in a direction other than back to bed.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m a night owl. If I take my time in the morning, if I wake up at will rather than by alarm, if I stay in bed and let the light warm me, if I needn’t be anywhere soon, then I can enjoy it.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. NOT a morning person here either. I grumble and groan when I have to work in the office and get up and shower at 6:30 am, blow dry hair, makeup, decide what to wear, and drive in traffic. I love my work from home days! Slide out of bed a few minutes before 8, log in, work in my jammies or sweats all morning, then take a shower at lunch. Then throw the sweats back on and finish my work day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. People say I am all the time but I don’t feel like it. They must see something. But which bird … Lol. A honking goose perhaps? I am loud.

    I refuse to believe you are ever less “shiny”. 💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m not a morning person either, yet I rise most days at 5, for that is the most quiet time of the day and then I can write. When my kids are grown and gone — and the youngest is 17, so that’s not too far away — I think I’ll shift my whole life two hours later.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I’m a late convert to morning times.. maybe it has something to do with control but if I can have my hot chai, write in my journal and eat a lovely breakfast before the world wakes up – the rest of the day can go to chaos and I’ll be okay knowing I had the morning..

    Liked by 1 person

  18. You’d fit right into our family, Rara. My daughter and granddaughter are not morning people and would sleep in till lunchtime if they could, but work and university make a mockery of that desire. My son-in-law is…well, he’s sort of any anytime sort of person. On the other hand, I’m a morning person. I feel the day is half gone if I haven’t had my breakfast by 7:00am 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I am so not a morning person. I know people say mid-shift jobs kills social lives, etc. but that would be ideal for me. 3 to 11 or something like that.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Oh Rara, I am soooo much like you. I do love the idea of morning. Fresh starts and all that rot…. But really, I would love to sleep late every day and get up when I want and then go to be when I want. That is my fantasy. Sunrises are lovely, but the sleep is still in my eyes. Besides, the colors are so much brighter at sunset.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. That’s okay, I’ll love morning for you. There’s something interesting about watching the rest of the universe begin again … curtains that block light are also helpful, since I am a low light person …

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I’m a night owl for sure. My brain seems to work best late at night. Unfortunately, no matter how late I go to bed it usually takes me forever to fall asleep and then it’s a struggle to wake up in the morning (or more accurately afternoon with my sleep schedule).
    Once I get over the wrongness of being up so early when I do need to get up early in the morning for some reason I do usually enjoy the morning hours, but it’s more like somewhere I enjoy vacationing every once in a while not somewhere I’d like to live. 😉
    My husband is the exact opposite. He’s a morning person who usually falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He converts to a night person on the weekends so that we can be on the same schedule. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Mornings can be good, depending upon what kind they are. Some of them are too quiet, whispering promises that are lies. Some of them are too overbearing, demanding attention like a tyrannical king. And some of them are too busy, leaving nothing of themselves but the wonder at how they came and went in front of your eyes.

    But some of them are electric, giving that tingly sensation in your teeth that the world is doing something big right now. They whip up anticipation, setting your skin on fire with what’s going on. It’s like they are so indifferent to the small things that it shows you how much everything cares.

    That’s why I can’t out and out hate mornings, but instead look for the ones that give me a jolt. Hopefully you can find one too someday.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I’m not a bird of any sort. I’m not a lark, I’m not a nightingale, and I’m not an owl. I’m probably more of a dormouse, or maybe even a sloth. So mornings are not good to me, but neither are late nights. Mid-afternoon is about right.

    In fact, due to a cold virus, I’ve mostly slept today. It’s now 20 to 9 and I’m thinking about getting back into bed.

    I’m probably a sloth. Which is fine. All you night owls and morning larks and evening nightingales can use me for a perch. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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