you’re not tired.

You’re not tired, you’re broken.
Your ankles are twisted and your body is bruised.  The wind is in your face, pushing you down,

down,

so far down
this mountain.

You’re not tired.  You’re lost.

You thought you were going up, but you just jabbed yourself on the same rock for the second time. You’re going in circles and the only thing you can do is hope that the circles are spiraling you up,

up,

to the top of this mountain.

You think you want to go up.  You’re not sure anymore.
You feel tired, but you’re not.  Truly.
You’re not tired.

Your heart is crushed so flat that it can barely beat.  You’re not tired.  Your lungs are sick of breathing in the contamination you ejected.  You’re not tired.  Your mind is hiding from the sheer magnitude of the world is it being forced to translate, but you’re not tired.

You’re just going somewhere, and the journey has been bumpy.  There’s been twisted paths and closed roads.  There’s been pitfalls and jagged edges.

Every injury caused by this journey, though, has been healed by this journey.  Every scar you had when you started, every wound you earned along the way, will be healed in the next few steps.

If you can make it.

You’re slowing down.  You’re aching.   You can’t see where you’re going because there’s blood in your eyes, sweat on your hands.  You’re slipping and everyone can see it…

But they can also see your destination, and how far you’ve come.  Not a single person is worried that you’ll fall.  Not a single person is worried that you won’t make it.

They see the breaks in you, and how those tears did not break you.
They see the calluses on your feet, and how those calluses did not weigh you down.

They see your eyes closing on your journey, but they know you’re not lost, and you’re certainly not tired.

You’re just a little sweaty.  You’re just a little broken.

But none of that ever stopped you before.
You’re just getting started, so keep going,

up,
up,

up.

You’re going somewhere.

22 thoughts on “you’re not tired.

  1. ‘How do you know if your mission is finished? If you’re still alive it isn’t.’ So with suffering and joy, and all the love we can muster, and by the grace of all that is Holy, we keep on going, and in the end up or down makes no difference, it’s the journey that’s the destination.
    I love love love the new look of your blog – best yet!
    Alison ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Except…a still, small voice in the back of my heart wants to counter what might appear like wretched determination to continue at all costs…to gently brush back the hair from the furrowed, sweating brow and suggest a little break…a tiny break from the absolute MUST of continuing…just to sit for a while in the breeze and appreciate the sun and the clouds and the birdsong…a short while when wounds can be gently tended, sore feet rubbed, and thirst quenched before the never ending quest for ON! UP! ON! UP! begins again…my heart wants to beg the necessary indulgence of a few short moments of sitting, leaning against a trusted friend who knows that any tears which fall aren’t a sign of an endless flood or a dam beginning to crack, but just a release for shining eyes and salted cheeks to crumple and settle once more into peace, and again seek their horizon.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’ll be tired for you? You know, until you need a nap, or a Rockstar, or add another 100 things to do to the list of 500. “I’ll be tired for you” is the new “I got your back”. Let the #hashtgs begin! #TiredForYou

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “Not a single person is worried that you’ll fall. Not a single person is worried that you won’t make it.”

    Yes! Exactly this! You will make it and all of us watching you go up are right here to catch you should you fall. Which of course you won’t – you’re a sure-footed dinosaur – but our hands are outstretched nonetheless x

    Liked by 2 people

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