I’ve been waiting for her to come home, pressing my face to the window, skipping meals as I fill up on all the ticks and tocks of time. I smudge the glass to stare past it, the vision too blurred to see, but I think seeing is unnecessary in this case. I will know her. I knew her so very well.
I’ve been waiting for her to come home, letting my hair grow out. The cells are dead but they remember the waiting, so I let them flow, keeping them tucked to me. I want to cut the locks that hold in this year of time.
I am not waiting any longer.
The window is clean now and I see now that there’s no way she’d ever walk up that path again. There is no path. There is no she.
But then, nothing is ever created or destroyed. There is nothing new under the sun.
The path that was once, is now another. A stone from it may line a fountain, or lay in a fountain, or maybe it shattered into a million thousand droplets of water and now it is the fountain itself.
Parts of her are still here, too.
She left a note in a movie theater bathroom last week. On the outside of a blank card, she wrote “Spoilers, Darling”. On the inside, she wrote “Everything’s gonna be okay.”
She found an x on the sidewalk and decided it meant something important. She took a picture.
She laughed so loudly at a restaurant that heads turned.
She made a sun set. She became a tiger. She stayed a dinosaur.
In a way, she is like the path, shattered into a thousand different possibilities that only seem the same to one who is waiting.
But as she was, she is no longer.
She’s not coming home,
Hold onto yer blog horsies, Monday is going to bring about some massive changes around these here parts. Massive to me, probably negligible to most of you since you probably read me through a reader.
Wait… DO you read me through a reader?
I’ll be sitting down with my graphic designer friend to explain blog parameters to him while getting feedback about the visuals– would that be something y’all would be interested in seeing the notes from? I could even do it on Facebook Live maybe, so you could hear the thought processes in action?