what counts

Have you lifted anything heavy lately?

yesno.jpg

No…

Not unless you count a heavy heart. Not unless you count the heavy shackles of an un-free life.  Not unless you count the footsteps I took as I walked away from the crumbles of “Before” or the gratitude that weighs more than all of those other things put together.

 

Have you waken up in pain lately?

yesno.jpg

No…

Not unless you count how it feels to open your eyes to an entirely different world, in shock. Not unless you count the loneliness that can be only described as pain, as it sits in your stomach and turns itself over and over until you fear moving at all. Any movement might spill your insides out, and he only lives in your insides now.  The few fragments of the old world might spill from your mind– and the very idea of that sears the walls of your heart as your eyes blink in this new day.  No, I haven’t woken up in pain lately, not unless you count the burning.

 

Are you taking any medication?

yesno.jpg

No…

Not unless you count the hours of writing and the long stretches of yoga. Not unless you count the coffee dates with friends and long rambling online conversations. Not unless you count the cups of sunlight I drank yesterday, and the sprinklings of moonlight that I crumble into all my homecooked food. Not unless you count the days I sleep too much, and the ones I sleep too little. Not unless you count the way I laugh and laugh about myself and life until I ache in a good way.  Not unless you count thankfulness, the sort I am addicted to, the sort that I inherited, the sort that flavors everything in my life so it tastes like luck.

 

Do you have anything else to add?

yesno.jpg

No…

Nothing that counts.

 

nanopoblano1

43 thoughts on “what counts

  1. Yes I’ve lifted something heavy today – Your heavy thoughts. They are being replaced by love and thuds and hugs and light thoughts until one day they will be so light they will float away with the clouds and will be no more. The End.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s amazing how you write in such a way that words have weight and meaning. That’s how I want to write sometimes but all I end up with is a crumpled paper in the electronic recycle bin on my computer. Sending positive vibes your way πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I am a slayer of paper, too. Crumpled sheets everywhere. I often think that a reader accounts for much of the weight put to words, so to that, I say– thank you for reading. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. As always, I am left in awe and sorrow. How I wish each of us could bear a little bit of the burden, just a bit. But then you would have had less of the joy, and I don’t want to take that from you. So hugs and love instead.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha! I was so set to argue against that fact, since I love blogging, but not so much the physical activities in life — then I read the post. Yup, 100% agree with you… blogging is like yoga! How cool is that?

        Like

  4. BTW Amma will be in San Jose soon. I think her programs begin on the 25th. I will be on my way to India so won’t be at the California programs this year.

    Like

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