Originally posted to my secret blog, June 2016.
“Oh no,” Deb says. “You’re getting chocolate all over Auntie Ra.”
Littler J smiles, unconcerned.
“Ra likes choco.”
In this, he’s actually wrong. Ra doesn’t like chocolate, other than for the 5 blissful seconds where it sings onto my tastebuds. I don’t like that it breaks out my skin. I don’t care for the smell. I’m not sure how I feel about its global impact.
He smiles at me for confirmation and in that moment–
Ra loves choco.
Once upon a time there was a movie called The Runaway Bride, where Julia Roberts played a woman who almost got married several dozen times but would take off right before the wedding. Richard Gere plays a journalist who wants to know why. As part of his investigation, he realizes that every guy she almost married thinks she likes her eggs prepared a different way. She always eats them exactly the same way as her intended.
So do I.
I couldn’t tell you if I like scrambled eggs more than poached. I know when my dad makes poached eggs and cuts into them with a happy smile, I love my eggs poached too. I know when Mamasaur is babbling over her favorite black skillet, throwing fritos and diced tomatoes into her scrambled eggs, I eat them just like that. I know when Dave spent an entire morning preparing a hundred deviled eggs for me, shaped like dinosaurs, those were my favorites.
In prison, I ate a fried egg that I cooked for myself. The first thing I had cooked with real utensils and grills in over a year. It tasted like freedom, and that egg– that egg I loved too.
In the movie, they try to fix her. They make her choose her favorite, and I couldn’t help but think– why does it matter?
I love people more than eggs.
I love sharing things with the people I love, more than eggs.
I like having things in common with people, more than eggs.
That seems totally reasonable to me.
Ra loves people.
And sometimes that means, even though she doesn’t really– Ra loves chocolate.
Especially when its wiped onto her clothes and hair by tiny hands.
Especially when it’s called choco.
Especially when it is considered a precious resource and it is shared freely.
In those moments…
Ra loves choco more than anything ever invented.