Years and years ago, I saw a show with foul-mouthed puppets, improvising their way through comedy skits and adventures.
I was charmed.
Completely, utterly charmed.
I promised myself I would go again, but then life happened, and kept happening.
The show came to my area again and I told myself I would go again, as soon as things were back to normal. As soon as I wasn’t fighting a criminal case.
The show came to my area again, and I heard about it while I was in prison. I told myself I could go again and soon as things were back to normal. As soon as I was home.
The show came to my area again, and I told myself I could go again when things were back to normal. When I had come to grips with the idea that half of the group I went with last time had died since then. When it was an easy financial decision. When I had someone to take with me.
The show is back for a few days this month, and I thought about going, but realized I am not there yet. Even though some days I feel really close to it, everything still isn’t back to normal.
Things might never be puppet-normal again.
Things
might
never
be
puppet-normal
again.
It’s just a silly show.
I know.
And even if I went, I would not be the same woman who went so many years ago… and maybe that’s the saddest part of it all.
.
.
.
.
.
.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Ra Avis is the author of Sack Nasty: Prison Poetry and the girl behind the dinosaur at Rarasaur.com. She is a once-upon-a-time inmate, a reluctantly-optimistic widow, and an exponential storyteller.
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rarasaur 
Puppet-THUD
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Who needs puppets anyway.
(Just kidding, obv.
Everyone needs puppets.
But I’ll survive.
I tend to.)
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There is a school of thought that you should never go back to something. When I was married my wife and I had a rule about holidays. Don’t visit the sameplace twice.
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Do what feels right. I know you will and you do . That is the beauty of life. Now you have the freedom to choose what you want to do after it was taken away from you for awhile. Be you. ❤
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A hundred viewings would probably never make this show the same again. I believe that some things are only good the first time around and that we should hold that memory close but look for another show. ❤
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Or you could go with a whole new group of people, or by yourself, and see it through the new eyes that you have now? Just a thought, ‘cos sometimes if you wait for things to be “normal” or “perfect”, you miss the chance to experience something exceptional and brilliant. Xxxxx Love, and thud, and hugs.
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I feel if I write my comment that I’d like to leave it would seem harsh, naive, down playing what you’ve gone through and I would never, never want to do that to you. It comes from a good place, a place of love – so I’ll leave a comment of love. That’s all I need to do. (hugs)
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Ra, enjoyed reading your blog about the puppet show, sometimes we keep waiting for that perfect moment which might never appear. Sometimes you should just go and other times the joy might be in the anticipation. just a thought… enjoy your blog.
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They would still be funny and foul-mouthed, and who knows, maybe it would book-end a chapter or three.
They will be around as and when you’re ready for them 😘
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It’s never the perfect moment for admitting that we’re not the same we were years ago. Because the cracks will always remain visible. On the other hand, it is always the perfect moment, because the cracks made us into who we are. And you are still so awesome, beautiful, caring, cracks and all … I want to give you a huge hug. If one day you decide you want to watch the puppets-show, although things are still not puppet-normal, it’s good. If you don’t, it’s good too.
Oh and yes, foul-mouthed puppets are the best. They remind me of happy times too.
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What Lizzi said^^
& We transform for a reason. Oh the stories I could tell you for days & days, my sweet Ra.
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Though you are not the same woman, puppet-normalcy can heal. Sometimes what one needs is too laugh and crude silliness.
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This has been my husband with a childhood hero, Hulk Hogan. We made as far as the surf shop and a phone call with Hogan in the background. He named my husband “Crazy Mike”, but he never met him. Now with this sentence? There may never be a chance as Hogan is getting on up in years and there’s no telling how many public appearances he has left.
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Oh, who I was, and who I might be still, so many days, they blur.
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Puppets say the naughtiest things, stuff their mouths with lots of strings… : )
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Once, when I was kind of newly grieving (do we ever really stop?), I came across a video of a 3-legged dog. He’d lost a leg to cancer. He was running and jumping, catching frisbees, even. I don’t know how many times I watched that video. That dog taught me a lot. Even when we’re missing something, even when we’ve lost something, we can still go on. We can still do our best to keep on doing things we love, we just have to understand that it’s a new normal.
We will never stop being “amputees” (in the sense of missing those we miss), but we can continue to live this life under the new normal, and still have a pretty good life. The ones we miss would want that, anyway.
I’m hugging you, Ra. Hard. A new normal isn’t easy, but it is doable. *hugs* ❤
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