journals

reading

Can I finish a draft in ten minutes? Can I start a new post? Should I find something old and just re-share it, or does that break the spirit of this challenge?

Should I tell you why I didn’t get started on my post till just now?

Should I mention that I went to a poetry showcase today, and read some of my work? How it feels to walk up the stage as many things and always walk down as a felon? How it feels to be an audience to other poets? How sometimes they say things that my heart has felt but didn’t have the words to explore?

Should I tell you about the energy? How I come to every reading tired, and leave shaking with adrenaline and ideas?

I went to a poetry reading today, and I read my work. The theme was “finding the goddess within”, so I told people where I came from and how I have used that history as a map to my inner self. I told people how I am dinosaur, and how that is my goddess totem.

Hindu goddess are depicted in the form that explains them best, and I know how I would look there.

I would have the long spiky tale of a rex. And in my hand, there would be a sun. And in my hand, there would be a moon. And in my hand, there would be a dying dandelion. And in my hand, there would be a living lotus.

And you would be able to see my heart through my skin. Nanking blue, porcelain cracked.

I would be holding it in, holding it together, with one hand,

but my last hand would just be empty, saving space as I eagerly reach out to you.

24 thoughts on “reading”

  1. Ok, very clever. Now I’m thinking how I would be represented as a Hindu god. Today I started trying to write something for my next weeks post and I just got out how I really want to love people, and feel their sincerity and their humanity, but then I leave my room and I start butting ego to ego… So maybe one hand would be a heart and the other would be a mouth wanting to devour the heart and I’m trying to keep my two hands from connecting so my other four hands are occupied holding the other ones safely away from each other. I’m glad you get to go and experience those magical poetry exchange moments.

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    1. I love this visualization. It reminds me of Chinnamasta, her own head in her hands, feeding herself and everyone else from the blood that spouts from it. A sort of selflessness and not, all in one.

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  3. All the Hindu gods have always fascinated me, they are so unique and creative. Almost like the best superheroes created for a movie, almost perfect. Loved the way you described yourself as a goddess. Beautiful writing !

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  9. Pingback: Day 10 – NanoPoblano – “The Power Our Friends And Our Souls Provide” by David Ellis – A Found Poem Inspired by “When Stretch’d on One’s Bed” by Jane Austen | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

    1. You’re not too far, right? Maybe you could make it out to something in Long Beach one of these days. Definitive Soapbox is Friday at 7pm. I’d just be on the open mic, but there’s so many awesome poets including the feature who I’ll be publishing soon. 😀

      Thank you for reading, Ryan 🙂

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