I swallowed so many tears, my bones eroded and turned me into riverbed. Woman-made river, catching the sadness like it was meant to hold it.
I swallowed so many tears, I built an ecosystem in my limbs. A saltwater stream, full of smooth river rocks and tiny legged things with flow of their own.
My eyes became dammed, stopping the waters, holding them back. My eyes became dry, became drought, became desert, and the sparkles that used to bloom there grew needles just to survive.
I swallowed so many tears that it is habit now, it is river, it is bed. It is the bed I rest my words in. They wake up tear-glistening. It is the bed my body kneels beside and prays for more, even though it pays for more with attrition. Even though it pays for more with its own life-marrow.
I am learning how to wake up better.
I am learning how to remind my eyes they are made of sky, made of clouds, designed for let go not hold in, built for roses. I am learning how to remind my eyes to trust more than sunshine, that rain is release, and release is a blessing, too.
I am learning how to cry again, learning that I don’t have to store up all my rainfall, that I replenish what I need, and that my eyes are still an oasis held hostage under all this dry.
I am learning how to cry again,
learning to let my words be the final mouth of a river-made woman.
rarasaur 
Oh, when I read what you write I understand how very short I fall and it doesn’t bother me. 🙂 ❤
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Your writing is like light, whether it’s sunshiney bright or speakeasy muted. It’s impossible for light to fall short, or fall, or be short. 😉 Love you much, thank you for reading.
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Crying is the most healing thing you can do. Cry and cry and cry. Let your crying become deep gut-wrenching sobs if that’s how it feels. The tears will be the shower that washes away the pain.
Alison xo
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That’s beautiful, Alison. I’ll try to remember. ♥️
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I love this so, so much. ❤
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Thank you ♥️
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Beautiful piece💟💟💟
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Gorgeous piece. When I was young, living with my parents, we were not allowed to show extreme emotion, crying being one of those. It was a beating-offense. But when I became a young adult and was able to move beyond those toxic ideas and training… I learned to embrace crying. Now, I’m a crier. I’m okay with that. I had years and years and years of pent-up tears to shed. I cry nearly every day. I’m okay with that too. I cry in grief and in heartache, in happiness and in loss. I cry in beauty and in pain. I’m a crier. And that’s just okay.
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It is normal to cry and feel the pain of it.but in the end it strengthens us.this is great and awesome. Keep up.
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Tears are a woman’s strength and our “by this shall you know them” ability. It’s hard to let go when you’ve gotten so good at holding on. I’m really glad you’re moving in that direction. ❤️
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Tears (or laughter but that’s for another post) are what comes out when your heart is full.
*hugs*
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