journal: boring fantasies

If we were having coffee– decaf, still, for me, thanks– I’d tell you about how inspired I’ve been lately to create a sort of discipline in my life.

The reality is that things continue to be very unpredictable for me and it’s unlikely that I’d be able to keep to anything on a regular schedule, but realityschmeality.

I like the idea of it, the shape of fantasy.

In this world I am imagining, I sit myself down to write for 15 minutes every day. I don’t have to post it. I don’t have to like it. And I don’t have to finish it. I just have to do it.

In this world, I have a diet. It isn’t designed to slim me down, though my jeans certainly wouldn’t mind if that was a side effect. It’s designed to make sure I eat regularly and balanced, with a focus on neuro health, immune system health, and hormonal health.

In this world, I have my hip surgery and then every day that follows it, contains half an hour of exercise designed to make sure I can sustain the work done. Physical therapy, on schedule.

None of this seems too pie-in-the-sky, especially since I don’t have kids or even a job right now, but managing even an entire week of good health has been a struggle lately, and that means every day takes an entirely different shape, with entirely different obstacles.

I think for April, I will participate in National Poetry Month, or something like it. A NanoPoblano light. Nanabanana, napopotato, I’m not sure. Something that compels me to write and post something every single day. Even if it is a small something.

The @ConceptsBot is a twitter bot that posts a little something every day, and I often think that I could take that sentence, and expand it into a whole post. Maybe I’ll do that sometimes.

I’ll also include a form here, in case you have a word, question, prompt, or idea, that you would like to see me pull from a hat and write about. If you put in a name and website, I’ll, of course, link to you if I choose to tackle it.

I like the idea of tackling blog posts. It’s so very hands-on, a bit aggressive. Words are strange, and my relationship to them has gotten all the stranger in the last year.

I’m looking forward to repairing that relationship a bit.

What are you looking forward towards?


5 thoughts on “journal: boring fantasies

  1. I can relate to much of what you said. Structure can be helpful, but so can being kind to ourselves when we fall short of a plan. I admire your courage and transparency Ra and I wish you vitality, strength and freedom from all limitations,
    with love <<3


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nanobanana! I like it. When I have done month-long challenges, I always have to remind myself “I am not taking this class for a grade.” It’s ok to skip days, not finish it, not even start it. No grades. It helps me get past obstacles to do more of it instead of less.


  3. I don’t know if I could do a poem every day, but I sure would try to do some! I like Nanobanana, but Nanopotato fits me because I am from Idaho hahahahahaha



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