It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s an issue of scarcity. I have run into a shortage of words.
When the phone rings now, there’s nothing but a chirping repetition in my mind. A mimicry of the noise I should be making when I am, instead, entirely composed of silence.
My late husband would tell people that silence was my love language, and they always, always thought he was making a joke. If there’s one thing people know about me, it is that I thrive in the chatter. In a den of din, I am all petal and bloom, all unfurled leaf and sturdy stem.
But I am rooted in silences, nourished in them. Right now, I am cut down to the nub. I quarantine-cut my blossoming down to earth and now most of me is buried beyond the sight of the sun and horizon.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s that I can’t. It’s not that I don’t know what to say, it is that I am out of words.
All I have are thoughts that are meant for the maze of my own mind, and for that alone. Trying to collect a pinch of thoughts to share is like trying to grab a handful of the dust you can only see in the light.
I know this isn’t sustainable. Communities form around words, check-ins, love notes, and chitchat. A blossom has to whisper to a bee. A seed wants to meet the ground.
I want for this type of springtime but right now, the meadow has been cut down and the only way for me to accept this is to pretend we are in early winter. I am standing guard around my voice, letting it rest its ugly gnarled hooks deep into soil. It isn’t a threat, I want to tell people, but a root looks as much like a dragon as a petal looks like a princess, and everyone fancies themselves a hero. Everyone is on the lookout for monsters and dragons, something they can slay, something they can control. A silence is a many-headed thing, a beast even, if you are already on a hunt. Everyone is hunting. There’s a scarcity that calls for it.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s that I can’t. Right now, I am growing from memory alone, trying to make sure that the leaves don’t turn sour. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s that I can’t. Right now, I am growing. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s that I can’t right now.
Fab!
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Thanks! π
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Every summer has winter in future. We are on board in summer watching green leaves on trees. Inside is sea of feelings but whome to talk. We can talk but iz he trust worthy. I liked the way you have written your story in a beautiful narrative. Good n keep it up . Well done.
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Thank you, I appreciate the reading and the hope. π
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This was such a good read. I loved it.
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Thanks!
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Silence… it can be a scary and lonely thing. Keep working through it! Your writing is beautiful though!
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I absolutely loved reading it
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Thanks, Morgan. I appreciate it. π
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wow
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Nice β€
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Thanks π
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Nice …. Heart touching!
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Thank you Anjali π
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Most welcome π
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I really loved reading this post π
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Thanks for popping by! π
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Sometimes silence has it own way to converse with your inner self.. take care
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Very true. Thanks for reading π
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Nice
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Thanks!
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Beautifully written.
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Thank you!
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its awesomeπ
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Thank you π
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Such beautiful prose poetry.”Itβs not that I donβt want to talk to you. ” Itβs that I am spellbound! Beautiful work!
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Thank you, Neha, I appreciate it π
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Such a beautiful post!
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Thank you ππ
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I wish someone reads my blog too…since i am new to this world i am so lost to the possibilities, i don’t know how to let audience hear that i exist too!! This world is too loud i never chose that.. I chose to shake the world in a gentle way.
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Winter has to change its same for us as the nature itself is cyclic
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Yep, everything is cyclical π
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Nice
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Thanks!
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I love word pictures in this piece. I understand. I think we are all dwelling in the silence right now,
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Thank you. I appreciate it!
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Very nicely written!
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Thank you!
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Beautifully put.
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Thank you πβ₯οΈ
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Amazing writing. Best I have read in a while. This would make an awesome poem too!
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Thanks! πΌ
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Phenomenal!
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Thank you π
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Amazing and beautiful post β€
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Thank you! π
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This is amazing.
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ππ½ thank you!
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Powerful β£οΈ
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Thank you π
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You’re welcome :}
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Wow nice article
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Thanks!
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Thanks for sharing,its deep and i loved itβ€
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Thank you for reading π
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Love this! β€οΈ
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Love it
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Thanks!
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Beautifully done. β€οΈ
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Thank you π
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Youβre so welcome. The world is a better place with great writers in it.
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ππ½π
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The colours and the layout of your blog bring me peace!
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I’m so glad. Thank you, Alenka. π
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Beautifully written….β€οΈ thank you for sharing
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Thank you for reading ππ½
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Nice!
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Beautiful
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Thank you π
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βIt isnβt a threat, I want to tell people, but a root looks as much like a dragon as a petal looks like a princess, and everyone fancies themselves a heroβ
– I fβn love this. Thanks.
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Thank you ππ½π
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This is so relatable!
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Thanks!
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I definitly relate to this, I can often find it difficult to communicate with others inspite of wanting to. Incredibly well writtenπ€
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Thank you for reading. π
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You are truly an artist of words. You inspire me every day to weave words into soft lyrics. Thank you!
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That’s so beautiful. Thank you. π
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This is the first time I am reading your post and it is amazingπ
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Nice article
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Great work
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Thanks!
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Yes ,sometimes I feel blocked as well
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Such a beautiful piece! π
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Thank you π
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Woww very nice ππ
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Thanks!
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This is lovely and so powerful!
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Thank you for reading π
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Great post ! I love it.
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Thank you!
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there’s nothing more powerful than silence, at times. except for those who can actually understand you, in that silence. thanks for giving a voice to my thoughts. i would always tell people that i dont really like talking much only to hear that im weird. this made me feel a lot better!
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That’s true, there’s so much beauty in someone who understands your silence. π Thank you for reading.
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Wow. I absolutely loved reading this.
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Thank you π
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