In this last month, I’ve fluttered so close to non-existence that I almost splattered into a rubbish pile of atoms.
My therapist recommended against this.
Through my days of silence and thought, she has gentle-pushed me into all manner of small companionships.
My therapist says to respond to Owen’s instagram message. My therapist says to follow Di’s Instagram feed. To read Dinah’s blog. To call Jessie and ask to see the ducklings. To text Matt for confirmation that the world is not ending. To walk over to Sarah’s house. My therapist says to ask Donny for a weekend away.
(My therapist says hi.)
I have done mostly none of that because I somehow grew larger than time herself, you see. In my pocket is a full moon and a rested sun and three or four unfished weeks. I think there is a whole day stuck in my back molar, and several hours under my nails.
But, one day, sometime in this frame, Cookie sent me a text and said she could come and see me. I kept very careful count of the days and hours, and still was a bit late, but what is late when it has been years and years? What is late when the last time we saw each other, the State owned all our time?
She is beautiful, still.
On this day, we ate crêpes. We walked a downtown street and decided to make ourselves headbands of flower and shell and ribbon and joy. We visited multiple shops to gather up beauties and then we sat outside in the sunshine, and drank juice, and put them together.
This was a day bigger than time or dinosaurs, and we were bigger than free.
More about Cookie:
- https://rarasaur.com/2015/09/14/monday%e2%9d%a4melt-they-leave/
- https://rarasaur.com/2016/02/21/dear-gillian/
- https://rarasaur.com/2020/08/10/b2-journal-8-10/
Part 3 of ?
rarasaur 
The world is not ending, despite the ten month old shrieking assurances to the contrary. He can’t be trusted. His truths are very different from the real truths. Some of the time anyway.
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And the universe down your throat, as always. Big love 💚
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Days spend with lovely people are good memories that never vanish. Juice with a friend and conversation of anything becomes breathtaking. Wow nice words.
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This whole post is so endearing — all the love — but my favorite line, “To call Jessie and ask to see the ducklings.” My heart grew 3 sizes. ❤
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🙂 I guess it’s not duckling season but I did get a lovely picture of curious geese, haha! 😀
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Your beautiful and happy picture tells it all. What s wonderful day!
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Aw thank you!!
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Your innocent smile reveals how happy you are, for that congrats, dear friend. I hope and pray that you will take all the steps to give yourself the laughter you missed for so long. I know God is great, He will help you. All you need is patience.
All the best to you. 🙂
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Thank you. ❤
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To see you two together makes my heart very happy. Your crowns are as lovely as you both. Hope the rest of the summer treats you well and you have more joys such as this. ❤ ❤
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Thank you, lovely, for your support of us both. ❤
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Flowers and bows and sun and juice and most of all a friend made that beautiful smile on your face. Life’s recipe calls for much more of that! ❤&hugs.
Di
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Yes! Much more of that. I’m trying to be a person again and do more of friend-time. Soon, soon.
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You both look so beautiful, and happy. And your flower crowns are gorgeous.
Alison
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Thank you! Apparently flower crowns are harder to make than we thought, but I think we did alright! 😀
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You did great!
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Follow the advice of your therapist. There is always SOMETHING to enjoy. Something to find delight in.
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That is true. ❤
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