scar tickings

I have a watch that I wear only to tell me that I have all the time I need. I wear it on days I have marked as ceremonial beginnings.

It is one link too loose on me, as it should be. It slides and sways with every step. I do not like when time handcuffs me. I do not like when time falls away silent.

There is just-right size for a watch and it is this. One link too loose, where I must consciously turn it, and look it in the eye, in order to read its face.

On Diwali, I kept company with time without facing it. I kept the lights on and let the sunlight steep through the window, staining the already bright-boiled air with starpeel.

If I wear my beginnings-watch on my right hand, it covers the only visible scar I have left from prison. Instead, I wear it on my left, and when my arms cross, the hands of time rest against the healing wound like sisterkin. What is a scar but another type of timekeeping, after all– a study of end points and start agains.

The watch tells me I have all the time I need, and this year, for the first time in a long long time, I was able to really look at this in the face and think about what that means.

I was able to think past the scar, past the ticking, and really imagine a long, long life. It was not a thorough dream or a detailed vision, just an image I’ve not been able to imagine in over a decade.

I saw my watch, sliding down a bit as I crossed my arms. The still-fading scar was completely gone. My hands were wrinkled, wrinkled, and my arms were the sweet soft translucence of a human who has stretched life over many decades.

What would I even do with a life so long? I guess it’s possible we’ll see.


Special thanks to http://adventurousandanxious.wordpress.com/ for Captain’ing NanoPoblano this year! I think I put the most updated list of participants in my sidebar. If y’all could check that your link works and is present, that would be great. Once I know I didn’t leave anyone out, I’ll start including all links in every post I write this month going forward.

If you aren’t Peppering but want to spread some love, choose a link — visit it and say hi!

17 thoughts on “scar tickings

    1. Aw ❀ Just imagine how much we'll have written by then. A library full of work from blokin and Peppers and best beloveds and and and… well. It'll be a blessed life of reading, at the very least. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

Rawr?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s