Jumping off point provided by Monday Meme Prompts via CamiSarahPoetry on Instagram. Based on a tumblr post from GiveMeArmsToPrayWith that reads, “every day I wakeup and drink my silly little coffee while God eats my heart like a pomegranate in front of me”

Every day I wake up and stretch a silly little stretch. I like to pretend my joints will get on just fine with a little warming up. I like to pretend that this today will be the today where I go through life without soft-squeaking.

Imagine how much easier the days would be if the universe couldn’t find you.

____________

Because a new year is coming to visit, I shine everything, even the ground under my bed. I like the absurdity of traditions. I like that my bed is tall enough to hide under. There is room for storage, but also some empty space. If I ever become monster, I will still have a safe place to rest.

In a plastic tub, I see a stuffed bear that I thought had gone home with a child over a year ago. I pull out the tub, rescue him, and set him on the bed with old friends.

He’s in perfect condition still, but oh how the year has aged the others.

On a video call, a girlfriend laughs as I struggle to keep my stuffed bunny in a shape that resembles a bunny. “They’re so loved.” she says.

The next day is a routine scar-care day, and I press ointment into the skin around my hips, and on my face, and along my arms. It is raining outside and the diffused light of the shower shows every wrinkle and stretchmark and scar, all at once.

I am so loved.

I stretch my arms above my head. I reach down to touch my palms to the cold and clean-shined ground. Every time I move there is a small squeak.

I am so loved.

I know this to be true, but still I stretch and I pull and I reach. I can’t help but imagine how much easier the day would be if the universe couldn’t find me.

____________

It is New Years Day and the fog horns are lullabying like giant beasts under my mattress. They say, you can’t always see what’s right in front of you. They say, take your time.

I wake up and stretch a silly little stretch. Every day, I get a little quieter. It is slow going. It is absurd work.

I take my time.