My pasta is shaped like little bells. I fill them with a heavy simmered sauce made of rose harissa, preserved lemons, and heavy cream. In a tall glass, I serve a ginger beer with a splash of blood orange syrup.
I eat my meal slowly, hesitantly– the opposite of how I cook.
In the kitchen, I am confidence and bustle, long and curly hair pinned to the top of my head with knots and willpower alone. In the kitchen, there is a list of things that need to be done, a list of things that can be done. There is control, and room for a little spice: a touch of bells, a hint of rose, a bleeded orange.
Outside the kitchen, over and over again, I ask myself:
What can be done?
What can be done in this beautiful but so often broken world?
On my ko-fi, to thank those who have given, I post a story I published about making 12,000 eggs in prison, after Dave died. There wasn’t anything to do back then, either, and I guess that’s when I always most want something to do.
I have written every day this year, except yesterday. Not everything I have written has been good or shareable, but bad art is important. Private art is important.
You are important.
Your art is important.
Yesterday, I ate my pasta and thought of you. I hope your life has room for art in it.
I hope you know there’s room for you in life.
I hope you know that when there’s nothing to be done, anything that feeds us, anything that sustains us, counts for something.
I read a romance novel while eating. When I look up, my roommate is smiling at his bowl of pasta.
I count this as doing something.
rarasaur 
I count it as doing something too. Something beautiful.
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Thank you 🙏🏽 💕
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I am smiling too cos I bet your pasta tastes delicious..❤️
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Aw thank you! I really liked it!
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I can’t imagine that anything you write is ‘bad’ Your words are always beautiful. ❤ And now my stomach is grumbling for your pasta!!
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Oh it is, but that’s all part of the process. Sometimes bad, never useless. 🙂🙏🏽
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I’ve needed this reminder. Thank you!
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Thank you for reading 🙂💕
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Tomorrow we make bolognese from scratch, using the marinara we made from scratch. It’s healing to stir things in a big pot. It’s healing to feed others. And myself.
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I love the message here!
Thank you and blessings to you! ♥
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Thank you!
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Pasta is my go-to food for when I am grumpy and just want something warm and wonderful. Make of that what you will.
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It’s a wonderfully comforting meal. Do you have a favorite pasta dish?
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I do. I slice up Spam and cook it in the spaghetti, then serve it with a little pasta sauce. I call it Spamghetti. Total comfort food.
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Oooh I will try that soon!
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