In middle school, Brittney picked a fallen eyelash off my cheek. She set it on top of her index finger and told me she had stolen a wish. She made the small-whoosh sound of blowing out a single birthday candle, and her corresponding puff floated my eyelash into the air.
Now I keep my own wishes, and I have added an important layer to this inherited game. I am not allowed to think. I see an eyelash down, I grab it, and I wish as I blow it into the air– as fast as I can read this sentence.
I am a very fast reader. I act like a stranded eyelash is a rapidly deteriorating future, activated by my perception of it.
This month, the same source of not wanting to be alive last year, has caused hair loss, and every day now I wake up to several lashes fallen. Cheekbones scatted with autumn lash.
I rake my face of them.
In rapid fire succession, I wish for you. I wish for you to get the thing you want. It seems like, lately, every morning and night, your wishes are the first thing that come to mind.
But the point of this is what I’ve noticed, twenty something years after middle school. What I’ve noticed is: you do not always get everything you want.
It’s possible Brittney just did not know what she was talking about. It’s likely, even. Middle school is a hard time.
But it’s also possible this has to do with how frail my lashes are when they autumn now. It’s not the cause of a season anymore, so much as a collapsing.
I think we can also agree that it’s possible I have not been specific enough.
Just a half year ago, having found an eyelash on the tip of my nose while preparing for the day, I wished for a toothpaste I liked, not just one I tolerated. I found one immediately.
Every day I brush my teeth, mouthful of foam, heart full of magic.
I will keep wishing for you.
Reminder to visit the Peppers! Day 20 is when the uugh-what-am-I-doing settles in, the did-I-miss-too-many-days-already. A nice heart emoji from a reader can sometimes refuel us for the final stretch. If it’s more convenient, here we are on a list: https://wordpress.com/read/list/rarasaur/nanopoblano2022