Today was a little bit rotten. I didn’t get to see anyone because they were sick, and then I was sick. Just last month, we went through a whole song and dance about how I don’t have throat cancer, and today, clear as day, a huge lump has appeared. A few things happened to make me feel like I was bad at everything: blogging, working, … Continue reading 24. crumble and layer
The blue bake pan catches the rainbow. The blue bake pan holds the rainbow. The blue bake pan bakes the rainbow. Makes a dozen. Makes baker’s dozen. Makes a million more. The blue bake pan gives a rainbow to every raindrop. Every raindrop sends it back to the kitchen. They like to share. The blue bake pan puts the rainbows together. Builds one the world … Continue reading 23. the bake pan’s dream
I want my room to boop your nose when you walk in. I want the yellow curtain to lava the walls and warm you. I want you warm sand safe, barefoot and brave, grinning into the volcano light. I want you to see everything I love, on the shelves, and in the mirror. I want you to see how well it all has loved me … Continue reading 22. redecorating
Every year around this time, my Premium WordPress account expires. Every year around this time, every single year, my blog-supporting ko-fi goal is reached and I reset it for the following year. (Thank you.) This is the part where I dust the moneybunnies, and give you an accounting of sorts. The goal is always $700 because that pays for the $99 account, the two domains … Continue reading moneybunnies
To be totally honest, I was going to wait to share another guest post. It seemed like a good ratio– based on absolutely no science whatsoever— was 3 of my-posts to 1 guest-post. Then, today came by, and I used up all my energy making tortillas and cookies, and doing the laundry. Restorative, yes, but not writing. So, please welcome another guest! This post is … Continue reading guested: A reflection from Micah
In middle school, Brittney picked a fallen eyelash off my cheek. She set it on top of her index finger and told me she had stolen a wish. She made the small-whoosh sound of blowing out a single birthday candle, and her corresponding puff floated my eyelash into the air. Now I keep my own wishes, and I have added an important layer to this … Continue reading 20. eyelash love
I’m sorry. What was his name? This is a pretty new addition to common responses to loss. We’re learning more about grief every day. I like this for us. I much prefer it to asking how he died, or how old he was, or any of the questions I got regularly in the first few years. But, it’s complicated. Telling people Dave was named Dave … Continue reading 18. wrinkled
Today I forgot the word for widow. I visited all the neighboring words: late, former, forgotten, leftover, left behind. I gripped my hands to each other, and opened them, over and over. As if the word could be found there. As if a synonym for widow is the moment when two held hands unclutch from each other. Today I stood outside my apartment and tried … Continue reading 17. plans
rarasaur 