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Category: anxiety

anxiety, dave specifically, grief, incarceration, journals

blank

So often I love the blank page of a blog. I could write anything here. I could write: some plankton can make little clouds above their own heads when the sun is too bright. This is true. I could write: some people bring their rainclouds with them wherever they go. I am afraid of becoming this kind of person. This is metaphorically true, then just … Continue reading blank

rarasaurMay 4, 20216 Comments
anxiety, journals, stream of consciousness

beware of mouse

I find myself in a type of day that I have not had in weeks. The sun is barking through my window blinds. My hair is clean because my hot water is working enough to wash it thoroughly. And it is quiet. I don’t know why construction isn’t resuming today, why the apartment below me isn’t playing a symphony of slam and swear, but it … Continue reading beware of mouse

rarasaurFebruary 2, 2021March 29, 202110 Comments
anxiety, dave specifically, in my head, new love

f.w.b.

I didn’t tell anyone about the first date I had after Dave died, until after. I was afraid it would be an embarrassing disaster, so I made up an excuse and strolled out the door. It turns out I didn’t do anything horrible at the date. I didn’t spill a glass of wine everywhere. (I’m not sure why I’m always worried about this particular thing … Continue reading f.w.b.

rarasaurMay 23, 2020May 23, 202023 Comments
anxiety, grief, in my head, journals, society

journal: tables & cages

Goodness knows I don’t know what to say. My phone rings, and I answer it, and the first few minutes will be the conversation no one can stop having, or the avoidance of said conversation. It was like this in jail. It is like this every time someone dies. It is like this now because of a global trauma. I let the phone ring, because … Continue reading journal: tables & cages

rarasaurApril 10, 20209 Comments
anxiety, grief, stroke diaries

trauma: hippostarfish

Do you know the story of hippo? How he has to open his mouth wide every few minutes to show Papa God that he hasn’t eaten any of the most favored fishies? Continue reading trauma: hippostarfish

rarasaurOctober 16, 2019November 12, 201915 Comments
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