My cats didn’t eat my husband’s dead body. I asked. The very nice lady said she would have noted any bite marks or removals from the body during the autopsy. They have to do an autopsy when someone dies and isn’t found for two days. They have to do an autopsy when a 35-year-old man dies and there isn’t any obvious reason why. You have … Continue reading ungroomed grief
I sparked my first match when I was six years old, in the harvest season, for the Festival of Lights. It was a matchbook stick and my big brother helped me tear it off. The cardboard end was unnaturally angled, and bent even further when I gently slid it against the rough striker on the back of the folded book. My fingers already smelled and … Continue reading all the little lights
Written July 14th, 2015 from the California Institute for Women – 100 hours before I was free, a letter never sent, to a friend I’ve not yet met. I didn’t ask her permission, so I’m not linking to her (yet), but she is a blogger, and she is loved. ________________________ Dear Gillian– Good morning! It’s 10am here in Corona, California, USA, and I’ve been up … Continue reading dear gillian
“Who?” Curiosity slipped from my teeth before I realized it didn’t matter. I listened to my sister explain, hearing her words in the way only little sisters can. Her husband’s friend and his fiancé were excited to welcome me into their new house. They were good peeps. (Translation: She met them once. They seemed alright. She didn’t tell them the full story.) I’d have a … Continue reading ❤melt : they open doors
In the copshop, in RC– Fire Camp Training at the California Institute for Women. Mr. Darr leaned in on his chair, his body lazily relaxed, his eyes tense and alert. He had called me into the office, staring in silence before speaking. “We don’t listen to rumors, usually, but this one has some meat on its bones. Did you get punched on the yard last … Continue reading 2015, real talk.
I finally held Dave’s death certificate on Monday night. It shouldn’t have been a shock, but it was. I flinched. I cried. It reminded me of the game my little brother loved: Are you afraid of a monster this big? He’d ask, arms outstretched, as wide as he could reach. No, I’d claim. Are you afraid of a monster thiiiiis big? He’d ask, hands and … Continue reading go ahead, clap your hands.
I met Alex when I was 17 years old. I don’t know if you can remember so long ago, but I can. Back then, the world was so small that everything was within reach, and time was so overgrown that you could take as much as you needed. Back then, we were afraid to die young, as if life were more slippery than youth. We … Continue reading ❤melt : calling on alex
One of my favorite stories, in both book and video form, is The Princess Bride. In the classic tale of high adventure, for those who haven’t read or seen it, Buttercup gets the shattering news that her one true love, Westley, has died. She mourns, but eventually puts on her practical face and sits down to breakfast and the shadows of a normal life again. … Continue reading i’m on the brute squad.