Yesterday, it was the grief that lingers like the smell of pine when the Christmas tree has already been removed. You take big gulps of your own volition, seeking the pockets of air that would fill your lungs with memories. When you breathe out, they scent your nostrils and weigh down your tongue with a realization of gone forever. A heavy tongue, a heavy heart, … Continue reading dialects
In Third Wish, a book by Robert Fulghum, a man starts on a journey and asks a passing stranger to bear witness to it. Through the years, he sends her letters detailing his life or thoughts. She responds, though usually just enough to indicate — yes, I see you. I see this. Sometimes there isn’t anything for anyone to do but be witness. Right before … Continue reading witness
I measureour distancein habitsI break. They ask: “when?” I saylong enoughI’ve stoppedhunting zodiacfor fish. When they askhow long,I say:so longI zipmyself up. I measure our distancein memoriesof muscle. They ask: “when?” I sayso recentlyour handsstill tryto touch. When they askhow long,I say:I spinthe ringI buried. I measureour distancein boneand body.They ask “when?” I saytoo long.His bodyis ashwithout me. When they askhow long,I say: A heartbeat.A heartbreak. … Continue reading measures
Today people shared that the word of the year for Collin’s dictionary is lockdown, and I wonder what other dictionaries will pick. It seems like a reasonable choice even though lockdown will always mean something entirely different to me. In California state prisons, lockdown refers to the time when the prison effectively closes, and all incarcerated folk are back in their room. Lockdown happens at … Continue reading lockdown mouse
I don’t know where to begin, or what to say. I feel very much like a glass with a single drop of water in it. A stem with no leaves. Not dead, and not empty– but certainly not alive and full. I gathered these photos in the middle of last night, to remind me how I see the world. To remind me why I fight for it.
Even when, well– even when. Continue reading regathering
I walk every day because one time I went to prison, fractured my hip, and then five years later had surgery to correct it. Now it’s a mandatory part of therapy. If my body did not ache when I skipped a walk, I would not bother. I’m quite content to watch the outside from the inside, or to go outside only to sit on a … Continue reading floof
When I can’t quite build a thought out into something solid enough for this blog, I will often post it to Instagram with the tag #LilliputianLog. The last weeks have seen a few of those posts so I thought I’d share two here for those who aren’t on the other platform. [For those who are on Instagram, and follow me at @rawra.avis : I now … Continue reading being excellent to each other
Hi best beloveds, This is just a quick note to let you know you can listen to me chat with Britt about forgiveness, blogging, prison, and life. (Search for “Love Your Enthusiasm on Google, Apple, or Spotify. Or click the image above to be taken to the site.) If you have time to listen, I’d love to know what you think. Are you a fan … Continue reading podcast: forgiveness, etc
