This time of year, the weather gets colder and colder. The morning comes in like peppermint breath, and it takes me a little longer to unfold from the blankets and start the day. When the days are longer, when morning mints sunlight instead, I don’t make a habit of starting the day with my phone. But this time of year, there’s something so lovely about … Continue reading 25. collect
Content warning. My roommate and I started making plans for the holidays today. Last year was our first year in this new place, but by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I didn’t want to be alive anymore, and so we did very little beyond just getting by. I was dealing with a dangerous mix up of medication, and a really triggering situation at work. When … Continue reading 10. journal 11.10
CDs scattered on the street like insistent and flattened stars. A bright sun painted on the pavement, shining in the wet darklight. A footprint in the rain. A thousand impermanent footprints. Under my onion’s potted home is powdered soil, a leftover on my living room floor from when I pulled it away from the rainstorm. My kitchen mat is powdered with cornstarch, a memory from … Continue reading 9. what i saw on the floor
Cascarones are bright-colored eggshells, with confetti tissue-paper-sealed into them. The eggs are emptied through a small hole and then washed and dyed. Growing up, we would start saving the shells in February to have enough for Easter Sunday, when we would run around our backyard and smash them over each other’s heads. This is a bright memory for me, clear as day. The carton of … Continue reading journal 4.4
Once broken doesn’t mean always broken. Healed doesn’t mean there won’t be mending to do. Mending doesn’t have to be a hard work, it can be a soft one, a gentle tilling and tending. A piece of litter thrown into the recycling. A spritz of perfume behind my ear, the bright of the bergamot jumping in front of any other scent. A smile to a … Continue reading tending to the mending
Sometime in the dark of early morning, I shook a fluffy blanket out and made tiny lightning. I spread my arms wide and parachuted a miniature sky of spark and star. I forget that static electricity looks the way it looks. Most days, it’s an invisible thing, a small jaw snapping at my ankles across a carpeted ocean. But in the right light– or, without … Continue reading jan 6
I don’t know where to begin, or what to say. I feel very much like a glass with a single drop of water in it. A stem with no leaves. Not dead, and not empty– but certainly not alive and full. I gathered these photos in the middle of last night, to remind me how I see the world. To remind me why I fight for it.
Even when, well– even when. Continue reading regathering
My sleep, when it happens, is a little bit see-through. A gossamer sheet that falls over my face, ghosts me from the world, for an hour, or two, sometimes four. I tell it bedtime stories about jail, how it –(some days)– stretched to nine hours long inside. It sounds like a fable, for who has ever heard of a sleep so grown? It sounds like … Continue reading sheep dreams
rarasaur 