basic blues and golden deliciousness

When I research my symptoms, the internet tells me I am super stressed. When I trade my necklace for a tarot reading, the stranger tells me that I am incredibly stressed. In my dream, I am meeting a group of people. It’s a little windy and I am pulling on my blazer as I walk. I’m not late, but I’m not as early as I’d … Continue reading basic blues and golden deliciousness


November 2018 His voice is comfortable with itself, the kind of calm authority you develop when people count on you to say the right thing. He is a reverend, and the food has just been set down, and we are new friends so he looks up from across the table and asks, “I’d like to say grace, if that’s alright?” I’m nodding my agreement before … Continue reading spades


The thing that bothers me most is the numbness. The empty. The days I wake up blank. The days I remember everything but feel nothing about it. My skin doesn’t react. My voice doesn’t emote. I just blink and smile, and breathe, and somewhere under all of that, the real me is screaming. But she is gagged, and locked in a room inside my mind, … Continue reading cabezudo

lucky me

This was originally posted on the beautiful Beth Ann’s blog, It’s Just Life.  I wanted to re-post it here, to fill in some story about my general grief progress.  I wanted to re-post it today because today is (USA)Thanksgiving, and with all this talk of gratitude, I wanted to feature Beth Ann who puts legs on her thankfulness all year long with a program she … Continue reading lucky me

river-made woman

I swallowed so many tears, my bones eroded and turned me into riverbed.  Woman-made river, catching the sadness like it was meant to hold it. I swallowed so many tears, I built an ecosystem in my limbs.  A saltwater stream, full of smooth river rocks and tiny legged things with flow of their own. My eyes became dammed, stopping the waters, holding them back.  My eyes … Continue reading river-made woman