yikes: i think what i was trying to say

Yesterday’s post was written half-a-gummy in, and even though reading it today makes me cringe, I’m leaving it up because it will remind me to stop taking the gummies as soon as they are no longer crucial to my ability to consume food. I don’t want to numb myself and armor myself at the same time, walk out the door with too-soft thumbs and thimbles … Continue reading yikes: i think what i was trying to say

linocut

My physical therapist responds to the break up and says I can have a revenge body if I want one. I ask him instead to help me build a forgiving body. I’ll need muscles, I say, for self-forgiveness. There’s a lot to carry. I bought everything I think I need to make a linocut print. I’m not certain why or what I’ll do with it, … Continue reading linocut

splash

Natalie came by today with fig butter and fresh figs. Abbie mailed me a beautiful wooden board for cards and photos. I walked down the stairs to retrieve both these things and I did it without a cane. My bedroom is the first room I’ve had all to myself since prison, and before then– well, I don’t remember. I met Dave when I was 19 … Continue reading splash

a cookie’d joy

In this last month, I’ve fluttered so close to non-existence that I almost splattered into a rubbish pile of atoms. My therapist recommended against this. Through my days of silence and thought, she has gentle-pushed me into all manner of small companionships. My therapist says to respond to Owen’s instagram message. My therapist says to follow Di’s Instagram feed. To read Dinah’s blog. To call … Continue reading a cookie’d joy