I’ve drank more alcohol in the last couple weeks than I have through the whole pandemic combined, which for the record is still less than two glasses a day. I hung up on my therapist for the first time in our years-and-years long arrangement. I chew my way through gummies (legal here) to get any sleep, to eat any food. My plants are dying, and … Continue reading content warning + ramble warning
Sometime in the dark of early morning, I shook a fluffy blanket out and made tiny lightning. I spread my arms wide and parachuted a miniature sky of spark and star. I forget that static electricity looks the way it looks. Most days, it’s an invisible thing, a small jaw snapping at my ankles across a carpeted ocean. But in the right light– or, without … Continue reading jan 6
I wasn’t ready to be awake today, so I sat in my dream about prison. It was a different type of incarceration than any I’d known, but a cage is a cage is a cage, and I know well how to live in one, even in sleep. At 6am, I peeked an eye open but the sun was already cackling with soul-piercing joy. I went … Continue reading ch2\ shower oranges
This is the first time the OC Fair will be cancelled since World War II. I still haven’t gone despite having lived here for 15 years. (Why do we use roman numerals for the world wars?) My girlfriend is married to a man who says “Google it.” after any conceivable question, and it suits her. She smiles and Googles it, and then is absolutely thrilled … Continue reading journal: shoulder-peeks
I had been in the loop for two days. A cold concrete place with no bedding, mostly used as a drunk tank. I was wearing a soft purple sweater from REI and blue jeans, but they had taken my shoes and underwear. They stripped me down entirely in a hallway and then pushed me into a room. I took a cold 2-minute shower, naked next … Continue reading ch1\ i make the bed
Earlier this year, I peed in a bedpan, one floral hospital curtain away from my boyfriend. He turned the water on the sink for me, in case it helped. Mortified, I thought it might be better if I just actually died. An hour before that, I had lost all hearing, lost vision in one eye, became weak on one side of my body and couldn’t … Continue reading 2019: erosion
A fiction based entirely on lots and lots of non-fiction experiences, moments, and conversations. It is the story I think about when I see someone take a selfie in a space where it doesn’t seem like the most appropriate of actions. We all engage with the world and ourselves differently. We’re all on a journey to figure it all out, or at least, to learn … Continue reading on the backs of selfies
When I research my symptoms, the internet tells me I am super stressed. When I trade my necklace for a tarot reading, the stranger tells me that I am incredibly stressed. In my dream, I am meeting a group of people. It’s a little windy and I am pulling on my blazer as I walk. I’m not late, but I’m not as early as I’d … Continue reading basic blues and golden deliciousness
rarasaur 