It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s an issue of scarcity. I have run into a shortage of words. When the phone rings now, there’s nothing but a chirping repetition in my mind. A mimicry of the noise I should be making when I am, instead, entirely composed of silence. My late husband would tell people that silence was my love … Continue reading pr\ early winter
This is the first time the OC Fair will be cancelled since World War II. I still haven’t gone despite having lived here for 15 years. (Why do we use roman numerals for the world wars?) My girlfriend is married to a man who says “Google it.” after any conceivable question, and it suits her. She smiles and Googles it, and then is absolutely thrilled … Continue reading journal: shoulder-peeks
My microwaved Thai food tastes like someone once heard a rumor about red curry, based on a memory within a dream. It’s Thai food, certainly, but several times diluted from reality. It cooks in five minutes, though, and that’s a blessing today. The world is in the time-out corner so I shouldn’t be so concerned with shaving seconds from minutes, but life happens, life happens, … Continue reading flip
I had been in the loop for two days. A cold concrete place with no bedding, mostly used as a drunk tank. I was wearing a soft purple sweater from REI and blue jeans, but they had taken my shoes and underwear. They stripped me down entirely in a hallway and then pushed me into a room. I took a cold 2-minute shower, naked next … Continue reading ch1\ i make the bed
A little after week in California’s Safer At Home restrictions, a girlfriend and myself text each other at nearly the exact same time. She tells me that, in her family’s language, they say “the heart is on the heart” but that it doesn’t quite exactly translate to English. I tell her that my family says “you’re going to live a hundred years”, which is spoken … Continue reading journal: how i am
rarasaur 